Church Research

Juanita · Guru

RE: Church Research

Robin · Guru

Thank you all for responding.

I'm eating a quick lunch (brunch?) before I need to go into work so I'll wait until I have more time to respond to the individual answers.

Also I'm still waiting for April's input.

One thing that I'm noticing from your responses (and it may just be because this MS group is a fairly specific demographic) is that the thing that seems to be driving our church members away is the opposite of what you all are saying.

It seems that whenever someone in my church (which is fairly liberal United Methodist) gets "on fire for the Lord"--Jennifer may have a better way of putting that--then it seems to turn off the other members. So those people who are outspoken about what God is doing for them and really sharing their faith look for other churches that are also "on fire for the Lord". They're from that core group that always steps up to volunteer whenever anything is needed so when they leave for another church, it really hurts. So I know some people have left because they thought our church was too liberal, some thought it was too conservative, but they've all gone to other churches that are more "on fire for the Lord".

I've got to go to work!

kris · Guru

The thing that really drove me to go to church again was Little John. I want my kids to know and love Jesus from a young age b/c I didn't have that.

We have taken Jake to a daycare ministry since he was 12 weeks old. It was not a place we selected b/c it was a church. We visited lots of daycares and did much research before we chose. When we walked into this daycare it was about 7 years ago. It just felt right. We had never noticed this church before but they put a sign out and I happened to be driving by one day, jotted down the number and told John I'd like to check it out.

Jake was maybe a year old - we went to an Easter service at his daycare church. Did not feel it that day and even though we liked the daycare we weren't going to church there.

My heart longed for that first church we went to. They had a great children's program and it was exactly the type of program I wanted LJ to get into - to make friends and have social experiences. So, I again started attending "that" church. Little John was much older by this point. He sat with me every Sunday. I still loved the preacher . . . he spoke right to me it felt like. My husband was again not interested in going so he stayed home with a Baby Jake.

I enjoyed it, the music (which always is so moving to me), the preacher . . .. despite the too frequent money sermons, the others were always exactly what I needed to hear. And the first Sunday I was back he came up to me and chatted with me for a bit . . . we'd actually gotten to be friends with him and his wife a little. I lunched (and still FB) with his wife.

So I went there for probably another year. I prayed week after week that one day my husband would be sitting next to me and we would be in church together.

Little John did a few things with the youth group but it was terribly inconvenient because it was so far away. Then I got pregnant with Kate and got horrible morning sickeness. Then the announcement came that the preacher and his wife that I really liked were moving to Baltimore to plant a church of their own, they would be gone at the end of that year.

Coincidentally (or not) the preacher at Jake's daycare church had also left and they were searching for a new preacher.

Then . . . . there was the fire that changed it all smile

Robin · Guru

kris wrote:
robin - some things that I wanted to add for you - the things that I like and find most important about our church is the children's programming and the youth program.
Little John has gotten very active with the youth group - meets Sun nights and Wed nights. Goes to concerts, fall trips, winter trips, mission trips in the summer. the activities for him and the youth are extremely important to me.
how is your children/youth program?

Both are shrinking.

I've been at my church for 35ish years so I grew up there. When I was a youth, I'd say we had about 35 kids that participated regularly in the Sunday evening youth program. 10 years ago, we had an average of 100 youth in the program and that is declining now.

Our children's program is pretty awesome EXCEPT that my friend Beth, who was the children's director for the past 5 years, quit at the end of summer. So now it's floundering a bit. The person they hired to replace Beth quit after a few weeks, the interim person (another friend of mine) got a full-time job at her kids' elementary school right after she began acting as the interim so she's been only part-time. We JUST hired someone to be the permanent children's director, and she starts on Feb. 1st. So we'll see . . .

We have Sunday school for all ages (including adult) with volunteer teachers. We have children's choirs for all ages, starting at age 3. We have chimes and bell groups for different ages of children. There's youth group for 7th - 12th graders on Sunday nights plus a Senior High Bible study on Wednesday evenings. There's a 6th grade Bible Study on Sunday nights during Youth Group, and there's a small group of 6th graders that meet on Wednesday nights for some service projects and/or Bible study. We have huge neighborhood turnouts for our big events--like VBS, an Easter Egg-stravaganza, a Breakfast with Santa gingerbread-house decorating party, Fall Festival.

Oh, and our church is right across the street from a high school. Our gym is open to the h.s. students after school a couple days a week for them to play basketball. We also host the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) retreats for the high school and feed them dinner before their games.

I went back and reread your question again. Our youth group goes on a mission trip to the Appalachian Mountains for 2 weeks each summer, they go on a ski trip every Christmas break, and they do various other things. I think they also have dinner clubs, and some weeks (like Exam week) they serve breakfast each morning. They do a 30-hour famine each year during which they do all sorts of mission projects (including baking cookies for prisoners) while they fast. The youth choir goes on a big tour each year as well.

-- Edited by Robin on Tuesday 24th of January 2012 07:30:51 PM

supergrover · Guru

Robin wrote:
Okay, did this question get buried? Let me ask again.

Ah, so here's the question.

How can my church better feed the people spiritually?

Robin, it honestly sounds like you are. I think what you are experiencing is what our coutry is experiencing (no, I"m not turning this into a hot topic). I see people sort of splitting into extremes on both ends of the religious or political spectrum (and my, how they have become one in the same somehow). I think anyone or any group in the middle is seeing a decline towards the extreme ends.

I don't think I'm making sense. I guess whatI'm trying to say is you can't be everything to everyone. I wouldn't focus on retaining those that need their fire fed to a great degree, and instead focus on those that are completely without a home church.

Just my barely ever church going self opinion.

-- Edited by supergrover on Tuesday 24th of January 2012 07:48:14 PM

Juanita · Guru

Robin wrote:
Thank you all for responding.

I'm eating a quick lunch (brunch?) before I need to go into work so I'll wait until I have more time to respond to the individual answers.

Also I'm still waiting for April's input.

One thing that I'm noticing from your responses (and it may just be because this MS group is a fairly specific demographic) is that the thing that seems to be driving our church members away is the opposite of what you all are saying.

It seems that whenever someone in my church (which is fairly liberal United Methodist) gets "on fire for the Lord"--Jennifer may have a better way of putting that--then it seems to turn off the other members. So those people who are outspoken about what God is doing for them and really sharing their faith look for other churches that are also "on fire for the Lord". They're from that core group that always steps up to volunteer whenever anything is needed so when they leave for another church, it really hurts. So I know some people have left because they thought our church was too liberal, some thought it was too conservative, but they've all gone to other churches that are more "on fire for the Lord".

I've got to go to work!

I've known people like that Robin. They all say basically the same thing, that they have to go where they're being "fed" so to speak. If they don't feel like they're growing spiritually, they leave.

Juanita · Guru

Kris, still waiting on the "fire that changed it all"

daisy · Guru

i've taken breaks from church or tried other churches mainly bc of unrelatability (?) of priests. i think things are way different up here though - church isnt really as much of a community feel as it seems to be in other parts of the country, so if you're not really in synch with the priest, it's isolating.

kris · Guru

I feel like I'm turning this all into my story . . . sorry for that!

It would have been October, 2009 - there was a fire at my kids' daycare. It was in the attic part of the daycare and while it wasn't as bad as it could be, it was pretty severe and made the daycare portion of the church unusable for 3 months.

The daycare director called John only b/c she knew he was a contractor from our comings and goings and he was ultimately hired by the property board of the church (where we did not attend) to do all of the restoration work for the church. It was winter. Work is slow. This was an enormous job that carried our business through the winter that year. Hmm.

That job put my husband in that church/daycare nearly every day for probably 4 months. He grew friendships with members of the property board. He had conversations with the director and assistant director of the daycare. I think he might have even had conversations with the preacher.

One day he said I think we need to go to church this Sunday . . .it was a random Sunday sometime during/after all that. So we went.

We were invited to Pizza with the Pastor a few months in. We had to introduce ourselves to the group . . . it was all pretty new people. He told our story . . . he started off by telling the group that his wife told him that the fire was God's way of getting him into that church!

I knew that if I stayed at "my" church I had to get a new pastor. I knew if I went to a different church I'd have to get a new pastor. So know matter where I went I'd have to learn somebody new. I knew how often I prayed for my husband to be sitting next to me in MY church on Sundays. So, God answered my prayer . . . in his time and in his way - my husband is sitting next to me in church but it is not MY church - it is the church that God led our family to that day nearly 7 years ago when we got pregnant with a sweet baby named Jake

daisy · Guru

btw, i've never tried other churches besides catholic churches (i feel that in the end, this is where i should be) - but i HAVE tried other catholic churches -- they are all pretty much the same around here - lol.

but i am back to church now, for about a year - what brought me back is a new and more current (even more liberal?) crop of priests, and being ready to raise my kids catholic. i also find a lot of peace from church, and i was missing that peace for a while.

kris · Guru

While having Jake is what led us to the daycare that ultimately led us to the church Kate in all honestly has brought Jesus into our home and lives DAILY.

She is on fire and has been since she was tiny. She sings bible songs. She sings christian rock songs she hears on KLove (and has for years). She prayers before her meals. She talks about God and Jesus. She tells bible stories.

Last spring when I'd skipped several sundays of church I'd be out working in my flower beds and she would sit her little butt in a lawnchair and sing Jesus Loves Me while I pulled weeds.

She has had exactly the same exposure as Jake . . . he never lit up like her. Yes he talks about God, asks questions, etc. but she lives Jesus and we/the daycare have done nothing differently with her than we did with Jake.

Juanita · Guru

kris wrote:
While having Jake is what led us to the daycare that ultimately led us to the church Kate in all honestly has brought Jesus into our home and lives DAILY.
She is on fire and has been since she was tiny. She sings bible songs. She sings christian rock songs she hears on KLove (and has for years). She prayers before her meals. She talks about God and Jesus. She tells bible stories.
Last spring when I'd skipped several sundays of church I'd be out working in my flower beds and she would sit her little butt in a lawnchair and sing Jesus Loves Me while I pulled weeds.
She has had exactly the same exposure as Jake . . . he never lit up like her. Yes he talks about God, asks questions, etc. but she lives Jesus and we/the daycare have done nothing differently with her than we did with Jake.

i love this story (and the previous one) so very much

and i know, because you and i have talked a LOT during the last year, that the fire incident was no coincidence, in my opinion

not that God caused the fire at the daycare, but he will use things for his good..always. He used it to get your family in church and he used it for y'all financially. He's awesome that way. The same way he provided for my family this last Christmas.

just like he didn't cause Presley to nearly die, but he used that to draw us closer to him and I am grateful he did.

I don't believe in coincidences, at all. I believe things happen for a reason, and if you wait on it, it'll be worth it and will bring him glory at the same time.

Juanita · Guru

daisy wrote:
btw, i've never tried other churches besides catholic churches (i feel that in the end, this is where i should be) - but i HAVE tried other catholic churches -- they are all pretty much the same around here - lol.
but i am back to church now, for about a year - what brought me back is a new and more current (even more liberal?) crop of priests, and being ready to raise my kids catholic. i also find a lot of peace from church, and i was missing that peace for a while.

me too, Kelly

daisy · Guru

Juanita wrote:
daisy wrote:
btw, i've never tried other churches besides catholic churches (i feel that in the end, this is where i should be) - but i HAVE tried other catholic churches -- they are all pretty much the same around here - lol.
but i am back to church now, for about a year - what brought me back is a new and more current (even more liberal?) crop of priests, and being ready to raise my kids catholic. i also find a lot of peace from church, and i was missing that peace for a while.
me too, Kelly

i think that, now that i'm older, this peace has become more and more important. i struggle with how unpredictable life is, and how i have no clue what's coming - church really does ground me enough to accept this and to not be afraid.

Juanita · Guru

daisy wrote:
Juanita wrote:
daisy wrote:
btw, i've never tried other churches besides catholic churches (i feel that in the end, this is where i should be) - but i HAVE tried other catholic churches -- they are all pretty much the same around here - lol.
but i am back to church now, for about a year - what brought me back is a new and more current (even more liberal?) crop of priests, and being ready to raise my kids catholic. i also find a lot of peace from church, and i was missing that peace for a while.
me too, Kelly
i think that, now that i'm older, this peace has become more and more important. i struggle with how unpredictable life is, and how i have no clue what's coming - church really does ground me enough to accept this and to not be afraid.

i'm totally with ya sista!

it's very peaceful and comforting to know there is someone bigger than all of life's messes, and i don't have to be afraid

not that i'm never afraid, i'm human..but it's a nice feeling to have that peace

Juni · Guru

kris wrote:
While having Jake is what led us to the daycare that ultimately led us to the church Kate in all honestly has brought Jesus into our home and lives DAILY.
She is on fire and has been since she was tiny. She sings bible songs. She sings christian rock songs she hears on KLove (and has for years). She prayers before her meals. She talks about God and Jesus. She tells bible stories.
Last spring when I'd skipped several sundays of church I'd be out working in my flower beds and she would sit her little butt in a lawnchair and sing Jesus Loves Me while I pulled weeds.
She has had exactly the same exposure as Jake . . . he never lit up like her. Yes he talks about God, asks questions, etc. but she lives Jesus and we/the daycare have done nothing differently with her than we did with Jake.

Owen is a lot like Kate. We had a random conversation about when I broke my fingers when I was younger. Owen said, "then Jesus healed you, right?" :)

Robin · Guru

Juanita wrote:
Robin wrote:
Thank you all for responding.

I'm eating a quick lunch (brunch?) before I need to go into work so I'll wait until I have more time to respond to the individual answers.

Also I'm still waiting for April's input.

One thing that I'm noticing from your responses (and it may just be because this MS group is a fairly specific demographic) is that the thing that seems to be driving our church members away is the opposite of what you all are saying.

It seems that whenever someone in my church (which is fairly liberal United Methodist) gets "on fire for the Lord"--Jennifer may have a better way of putting that--then it seems to turn off the other members. So those people who are outspoken about what God is doing for them and really sharing their faith look for other churches that are also "on fire for the Lord". They're from that core group that always steps up to volunteer whenever anything is needed so when they leave for another church, it really hurts. So I know some people have left because they thought our church was too liberal, some thought it was too conservative, but they've all gone to other churches that are more "on fire for the Lord".

I've got to go to work!
I've known people like that Robin. They all say basically the same thing, that they have to go where they're being "fed" so to speak. If they don't feel like they're growing spiritually, they leave.

Ah, so here's the question.

How can my church better feed the people spiritually?

Also, I'm still waiting for April's story on how she came to her church.

kris · Guru

robin - some things that I wanted to add for you - the things that I like and find most important about our church is the children's programming and the youth program.

Little John has gotten very active with the youth group - meets Sun nights and Wed nights. Goes to concerts, fall trips, winter trips, mission trips in the summer. the activities for him and the youth are extremely important to me.

how is your children/youth program?

Juni · Guru

kris wrote:
robin - some things that I wanted to add for you - the things that I like and find most important about our church is the children's programming and the youth program.
Little John has gotten very active with the youth group - meets Sun nights and Wed nights. Goes to concerts, fall trips, winter trips, mission trips in the summer. the activities for him and the youth are extremely important to me.
how is your children/youth program?

Ditto. This is a huge reason I am active at our church.

Juanita · Guru

I agree, the children/youth dept. is a big deal for me. That's why we moved churches after we had kids and one of the reasons we like this church so much. There are kids from all over our town who come to our church for the youth stuff that aren't members at First Minden.