Kaylen has started lying about EVERYTHING. Not important things at all. I need to go potty, I didnt eat my snack, brothers want this toy (when shes the one who wants it). The problem is she does everythign wtih such a straight face that I honestly cant tell sometimes and just say I know shes lying. She gets in trouble a lot but i dont know what to do about it because its continuing. I know if she gets away with it now it will only get worse. What should I do.
I think its a developmental phase (Kelly?). They are testing reality, their boundaries, asserting independence and seeing how much influence they have on their surroundings. Overthinking? maybe. Maybe its just laziness. lol. Kiera is going through a phase right now too. She will tell me she already brushed her teeth or hair, or that something that I know she did was done by her brother. Nothing she would get in trouble admitting to, so I cant figure out why she wants to lie other than my pop-psych analysis. I handle it by calling her out on it calmly and most of the time she breaks, then I explain that I understand she wants to make certain choices, but she cant lie about them, it disapoints me and is not okay in our house and give her an "if I catch you doing it again, I will...." I know - not the best discipline tool, but for us, the threats are sufficient at this point.
-- Edited by Erin on Monday 31st of October 2011 10:53:33 AM
It's probably just a phase. However, the phase will continue unless something is done. You certainly can't let her get away with it. I struggled for a long time to figure out how to punnish lying effectively. Rebecca would lie since she was tiny to get out of trouble and it escalated until she was about 9 or 10. I think what finally made her give it up was Crystal stopped lying when she put our challenge (that she wouldn't get in as much trouble if she told the truth) to the test. It took Rebecca a year or so afterward to stop. Of course, they weren't the only children I have who I've had to deal with this with. It wasn't until Kyle was about halfway through his phase that I started to understand what I needed to do about it. The punishment MUST fit the crime. The natural consequence and responsiblity is usually the best. If she says she needs to go potty, take her at her word and get her to the potty or if she needed to and didn't, the consequence is a mess she can clean up. If it's an attention thing, you'll find out pretty quick and can adjust accordingly. If you catch her in a lie about a snack, ban snacks for a while. It does take a while for them to catch on, but they will catch on eventually if you're consistent. A key thing is to stay calm and praise for telling the truth.
I think its a developmental phase (Kelly?). They are testing reality, their boundaries, asserting independence and seeing how much influence they have on their surroundings. Overthinking? maybe. Maybe its just laziness. lol. Kiera is going through a phase right now too. She will tell me she already brushed her teeth or hair, or that something that I know she did was done by her brother. Nothing she would get in trouble admitting to, so I cant figure out why she wants to lie other than my pop-psych analysis. I handle it by calling her out on it calmly and most of the time she breaks, then I explain that I understand she wants to make certain choices, but she cant lie about them, it disapoints me and is not okay in our house and give her an "if I catch you doing it again, I will...." I know - not the best discipline tool, but for us, the threats are sufficient at this point.
-- Edited by Erin on Monday 31st of October 2011 10:53:33 AM
ya know, we've been going through a bit of this here too. just tonight she fibbed that she had eaten her banana and didnt. it's not often, but there is a bit of it going on. i definitely let her know that lying is NOT going to fly in this house - i had a big talk with her tonight about how if she lies, i can never know when i can and can't believe her.
it is definitely a developmental stage, just as erin said. parenting is exhausting.
