bank account question

RedHawk · Senior Member

RE: bank account question

Supafly · Guru

RedHawk wrote:
We have joint accts. We are just like Laura. Steve makes the money. The pay gets deposited into our acct, and I do everything. Pay bills, shop, get cash and give it to him. He doesn't like to deal with this stuff, he works so much and has little time, so I do it.

I think it makes a difference that we are the ones who do the finances, don't you, Victoria?

April, I think if Bill were the one who took care of the finances and I weren't as aware of the financial situation, I would want to have my own money as well. Just because it sucks to have to ask everytime you want to get something or do something. Bill rarely asks me because he rarely buys anything, lol, but it would be very different if the roles were reversed in terms of who ran the finances. Much as I don't enjoy doing the financial stuff, I think that is why our system works well for me. I am the one who needs more monitoring, and I can self monitor pretty well knowing what is coming in and what is going out, and I never feel like I have to ask permission.

It was tough though when Bill was out of work. He, not having a hand in the finances, didn't really change his spending habits, and it became a problem for us when I would have to tell him where we stood on money, and he felt worse about being out of a job, blah blah blah. When things are tight, we have issues because he is clueless.

Oh, and welcome Asia!

LDSMOM · Senior Member

We are just like Laura, too. Dh makes the money and I do all the financial things in the house. We used to clear every purchase with each other. Now there are set things I don't clear with him (kids' clothes for example). I do try to clear just about everything else with him to save myself the guilt. I rarely buy anything for myself and he's the same way (now) so it's not too much trouble for each of us. Now that I'm earning a little money from selling the things I make I feel much less guilty about buying yarn and tend to do it more often now. Dh never denies me anything I ask to buy, but I still feel guilty unless I allow him the same amount to spend.

beckhamgirls · Senior Member

We have separate checking accounts (we always have) and a joint savings account - all with the same bank so we can move money around online between the three accounts. We each have our paychecks directly deposited into our individual accounts. I handle all finances and pay all bills - including "his". I just tell him each paycheck how much he owes me for bills, and he transfers it to my account from his.

We started doing things this way when we "lived in sin" wink as my mom calls it. I think that's one reason we've always kept separate accounts. I don't know why, but when I think about not having my own account I get a weird feeling inside! I trust DH 100%, he is the opposite of controlling, and he and I both spend frivolously - I just like having my own I guess. Like today, I bought a $5 coffee - stupid? yes. But, I knew how much "free" money I had and didn't give it a second thought. DH doesn't mind purchases like that, but he would totally comment on it everytime if he was checking my online account statement.

On the other end of things, I went to Target today and bought needed stuff - I told him I was transferring X amount of dollars.

Another part would probably be my guilt about how much money I waste - if no one is checking up on me, it lessens the guilt. smile

RedHawk · Senior Member

Laura, it is very tough to get Stgeve to change his spending habits. He just got a pay cut and we are trying to figure out what we can live without, and it seems like he doesn't get it. I make a writen budget every month, try to show it to him, some months he looks, sometimes he says he doesn't have time, and I tell him we're over budget by X. What do you want to cut? I can't be much clearer. KWIM?

Corey · Guru

I could have written laura's post. Dave makes the vast majority of the money, but I handle everything. He rarely buys anything other than gas or the occasional lunch. I spend as I'd like and don't clear anything w/ him. I mean if I was buying a new computer or something I would, but if I go to the store and spend $100 on school clothes or whatever I don't. He knows I always shop around for the best deals so he isn't worried.

I sort of take the my money is mine and his money is mine too approach;)

muffy · Guru

well, everything is joint for us. And that works fine. I do earn income, but it is only a small percentage of our household income. Bert is the primary earner, and he also takes care of all of our finances. the only time he tells me to cool my spending is when i go to the US, cause yeah, i shop a lot there (so, basically i dont pay attention to him LOL)

i dont have any guilt about spending some money on me. most of the year i dont. not into buying clothes and stuff, no mani pedis etc. i guess me stuff is books and stuff i buy on itunes. but anything i do buy, i feel like it is totally my right because i do a most of the heavy lifting around the house daily activities. and although i dont actually contribute to the bank account, but i contribute to the family and that is as much, if even more important, than a cash contribution.

we had a marriage crisis some years back and even then i was not concerned about separating our accounts. perhaps i am too trusting, or just that i know our characters well enough that in the end it would not be an issue between us.

LucsMama · Senior Member

joint

gogona · Guru

We have joint accounts. I handle the finances and pay most of the bills from our accounts but we both have access to it and DH can help out if I am too busy. I consider myself lucky because DH never questions how much I spend. I never ask for a permission to buy something and we make all the big (over $500) purchases together but if I want to spend $100-200 on make-up or massage or clothes, I don't have to ask him.

I do have moments when I splurge on clothes or cosmetics but most of the time we are both very rational when it comes to spending.