So apparantly I am going for drama queen of the TCC folder. Pass the crown right on over here.
I just got off the phone with my very sweet awesome big brother. He started the conversation off with "this is one of the hardest phone calls I ever had to make" and at first I thought someone had died. Then I just knew from his voice. They are pregnant with their fourth. They were not trying and are kind of shocked by this and they haven't told anyone yet because they were so worried about how I might feel. They have an 18, (almost) 10, and a 7 1/2 year old. I think my brother said my SIL is about 14 weeks. He said they've been trying to wait with the news, praying that I would get pregnant so they could be like "suprise, we're pregnant too"
I am excited for them and I kept my shiz together talking to my brother but I am sobbing now. I feel like the most awful person ever to be so jealous and upset right now for my brother and sister-in-law. Trying to get myself together because my DH will be home in less than an hour and I don't really feel like doing the ugly cry in front of someone.
I am so sorry Kari. That is a tough situation for all of you and your brother seems like he is handling it the best way he knows how. You have every right to be upset and maybe it would be better to share that with your DH in spite of all the issues. I think he will understand. Hugs!!
Thanks ladies. I did talk to DH. I was planning on it I just didn't want to be full blown upset about it. So I went over to a good friend's house that just listened and cried with me and then I came home and talked to him. He was very sweet too.
My brother is an awesome guy and I am so thankful for him and touched by how he and my SIL were worried about me in the midst of everything. I don't know if a lot of guys would have thought about being so caring and compassionate.
kari, i'm sorry you had to deal with this news today but i think you reacted the way anyone would have. actually, i take that back. you reacted better than most b/c you were genuinely happy for them on the phone and kept your composure. not sure i could have done the same.
your time is coming, kari. i just know it. and when it happens, i will have tears of joy for you both.
Kari, I know exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry. What an amazing job you did in supporting and loving your brother. It sounds like he and your SIL are thoughtful people, which is a blessing.
I don't jump on this folder often, but if you ever want to chat, send me a message. I can only speak for myself, but I think that infertility (first primary, now secondary) is gut-wrenching enough on its own, but when I add in the layers that come with loved ones around me NOT being infertile...well, you know what I'm saying. I so often ask myself, "What would that feel like to want another baby, and then just be able to make one? What would it feel like to be surprised by a pregnancy that we weren't planning?" I then wonder if half of my grief is about wanting to experience the relaxed joy of the first scenario, or the happy shock of the second.
So tomorrow is the day that my brother and sis-in-law are supposed to be telling everyone they are pregnant... you know cause it is April Fools Day. I am kind of dreading it because I don't want to deal with family. Some people know we are trying like my mom and sister will probably call to see how I am with everything. What's worse though it all the family and friends that don't know that we are trying and are going to be all "oh my gosh isn't that great or isn't that crazy." Who know's maybe it won't be a be as bad as I am building it up in my mind. Just to be safe I think I'll try and stay off facebook tomorrow.
We are in the middle of the 2 week wait before we test and usually I can't wait to test and I end up taking a zillion tests just knowing I am pregnant but not this time. I don't want to test because I don't want to see another BFN.
Thanks for all the love and support. We've never TTC and I didn't realize just how emotional the ups and downs really are. I don't know how women did it back in the day with out access to such amazing support from women that have BTDT.
Kari - I missed this before. I can't imagine your emotions and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I remember when I got pregnant with Owen I was dreading telling my sister because of her struggles with infertility. (She is quite a bit older than me and has never been pregnant.) Anyway, I am glad they are considerate with your feelings but so sorry you are dealing with it. You have every right to be sad and upset and I don't think it reflects on your excitement for them. Lots of hugs coming your way. I hope you get your BFP soon!!!
I am doing ok. The only person that called me yesterday was my sister because she wasn't sure if they were really pregnant or not since it was April fools. They told all of our family that I've known for 2 weeks and I was the first person they told and explained why so nobody has brought it up.
Kari, I'm glad you are doing okay... I know how tough this whole scenario is, but I'm *So* glad they are supportive of your struggle and care about your pain. That's *so* hard to find - often times even the people that know, once they get pregnant, just totally forget and don't realize how hard that news is to take as someone that's been trying. Keep your head up, babe. I know it'll happen for you. And try not to roll your eyes super hard about that - I always hated hearing that. (but it's true.)
