Dammit. Just dammit.

happylib · Guru

RE: Dammit. Just dammit.

Erin · Guru

Oh Alison, Im sorry to hear this. It is emotionally stressful enough without the strain of your prior relationship. wishing you both strength.

tammy · Senior Member

Praying for her and of course you.

Alison · Guru

Thanks ladies. I'm having a really hard time with this. It's pretty disturbing that both my parents have had cancer within a few years of each other. My mom is only 66.

And in a really bizarre way, it just feels very ironic to me. She's losing both her breasts and mine are still working, in that I'm still nursing Evie. I wanted to nurse her until around her second birthday anyway, and at this point I don't think she'll be ready, but I'm also relieved that she hasn't self-weaned, since breastfeeding helps protect both of against against breast cancer.

I'm just lost.

Supafly · Guru

Alison, I don't have words of comfort, though I wish I did. I am so sorry. Just dealing with the emotions of all of this has to be harder than I can even imagine.

I will be sending good thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

daisy · Guru

Alison wrote:

Thanks ladies. I'm having a really hard time with this. It's pretty disturbing that both my parents have had cancer within a few years of each other. My mom is only 66.

And in a really bizarre way, it just feels very ironic to me. She's losing both her breasts and mine are still working, in that I'm still nursing Evie. I wanted to nurse her until around her second birthday anyway, and at this point I don't think she'll be ready, but I'm also relieved that she hasn't self-weaned, since breastfeeding helps protect both of against against breast cancer.

I'm just lost.

alison i've been following this thread. i'm really sorry youre going through this.

when i was nursing C, my BFF got breast cancer and had a mastectomy, etc, and the overlap of me nursing and her losing her breast really got into my head. i'm still sorting it out. it's a LOT and i totally get what youre saying.

i considered donating milk at that time, just so i could keep "guarding myself" against BC (this was before i realized that C was as colicky as she was, so i couldnt go through with it). i felt though that doing something proactive and boob-related and health-related could help me flesh out the complicated feelings i was having.

anyway i'm really sorry about your mom - lots of prayers. xoxo.

CoffeeQueen · Guru

Alison wrote:

Thanks ladies. I'm having a really hard time with this. It's pretty disturbing that both my parents have had cancer within a few years of each other. My mom is only 66.

And in a really bizarre way, it just feels very ironic to me. She's losing both her breasts and mine are still working, in that I'm still nursing Evie. I wanted to nurse her until around her second birthday anyway, and at this point I don't think she'll be ready, but I'm also relieved that she hasn't self-weaned, since breastfeeding helps protect both of against against breast cancer.

I'm just lost.

I am so sorry. This is a lot to take in and process. Is your Mom being open with you and wanting you involved? Does she have someone down where she lives to help her out?

will they do chemo after the masectomy or just the double masectomy.

thinking of you and praying for your mom.

Alison · Guru

CoffeeQueen wrote:

Alison wrote:

Thanks ladies. I'm having a really hard time with this. It's pretty disturbing that both my parents have had cancer within a few years of each other. My mom is only 66.

And in a really bizarre way, it just feels very ironic to me. She's losing both her breasts and mine are still working, in that I'm still nursing Evie. I wanted to nurse her until around her second birthday anyway, and at this point I don't think she'll be ready, but I'm also relieved that she hasn't self-weaned, since breastfeeding helps protect both of against against breast cancer.

I'm just lost.

I am so sorry. This is a lot to take in and process. Is your Mom being open with you and wanting you involved? Does she have someone down where she lives to help her out?

will they do chemo after the masectomy or just the double masectomy.

thinking of you and praying for your mom.

She has been telling me what's going on, but she was out at dinner when I called the other day, so couldn't talk long. She seems very cut and dry about it.

She has friends and her boyfriend to help her. It must be very hard for him, because he lost his wife to breast cancer just 3 years ago, around the time my dad died. I'm sure he's been very involved in taking her to the doctor and will help her out at home after the surgery. They don't live together but he probably won't leave her side until she tells him to.

My brother might visit her soon, but he just moved to Tampa a few months ago and may not have enough vacation time at his new job. Me visiting is not really an option because of Evie - I can't leave her here, and she would be a nightmare on the plane. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to visit. It may sound cruel but I am just not ready to see my mom again, especially under these circumstances.

She's doing the double mastectomy in hopes of avoiding chemo. I guess they think that taking off more than is necessary will ensure that there won't be any cancerous cells left. I don't blame her for wanting to avoid chemo at all costs, after watching how sick my dad was from chemo and radiation for 2 years.

Thanks for all the P&PT. I really appreciate it.

Alison · Guru

daisy wrote:

Alison wrote:

Thanks ladies. I'm having a really hard time with this. It's pretty disturbing that both my parents have had cancer within a few years of each other. My mom is only 66.

And in a really bizarre way, it just feels very ironic to me. She's losing both her breasts and mine are still working, in that I'm still nursing Evie. I wanted to nurse her until around her second birthday anyway, and at this point I don't think she'll be ready, but I'm also relieved that she hasn't self-weaned, since breastfeeding helps protect both of against against breast cancer.

I'm just lost.

alison i've been following this thread. i'm really sorry youre going through this.
when i was nursing C, my BFF got breast cancer and had a mastectomy, etc, and the overlap of me nursing and her losing her breast really got into my head. i'm still sorting it out. it's a LOT and i totally get what youre saying.
i considered donating milk at that time, just so i could keep "guarding myself" against BC (this was before i realized that C was as colicky as she was, so i couldnt go through with it). i felt though that doing something proactive and boob-related and health-related could help me flesh out the complicated feelings i was having.
anyway i'm really sorry about your mom - lots of prayers. xoxo.

I'm so glad someone can relate! Thank you for sharing your experience.

How is your BFF now?

daisy · Guru

Alison wrote:

daisy wrote:

Alison wrote:

Thanks ladies. I'm having a really hard time with this. It's pretty disturbing that both my parents have had cancer within a few years of each other. My mom is only 66.

And in a really bizarre way, it just feels very ironic to me. She's losing both her breasts and mine are still working, in that I'm still nursing Evie. I wanted to nurse her until around her second birthday anyway, and at this point I don't think she'll be ready, but I'm also relieved that she hasn't self-weaned, since breastfeeding helps protect both of against against breast cancer.

I'm just lost.

alison i've been following this thread. i'm really sorry youre going through this.
when i was nursing C, my BFF got breast cancer and had a mastectomy, etc, and the overlap of me nursing and her losing her breast really got into my head. i'm still sorting it out. it's a LOT and i totally get what youre saying.
i considered donating milk at that time, just so i could keep "guarding myself" against BC (this was before i realized that C was as colicky as she was, so i couldnt go through with it). i felt though that doing something proactive and boob-related and health-related could help me flesh out the complicated feelings i was having.
anyway i'm really sorry about your mom - lots of prayers. xoxo.

I'm so glad someone can relate! Thank you for sharing your experience.
How is your BFF now?

she's totally 100% fine thank god. it was caught very early.