Sarah Grace pretty much does all that stuff on her own.  She also keeps her room picked up, puts clothes away after I've folded them, little stuff like that.  Sure it's faster for me to do it, and I do have to remind her about picking up her stuff and not forgetting to put things in her backpack, but I make her do them.  Even Kenley, who's not quite 2 picks up her toys at the end of the day.

I just feel like I'm not doing my job as a parent and not teaching them to be responsible, well-adjusted people if I do everything for them.  I help them when needed, and there are times that I do just do things myself, but the majority of the time, they do it, with supervision of course.

ETA:  After reading my post again, let me make something clear....I agree with Melissa, in that packing their snack or whatever isn't coddeling them.   But, you do have to teach them some kind of responsibility, even at this age.  At age 5, they know the difference between right and wrong, and they are learning what is expected of them, it's up to us to guide them in the right way

-- Edited by Juanita on Thursday 13th of January 2011 08:24:00 AM

-- Edited by Juanita on Thursday 13th of January 2011 12:52:55 PM

CoffeeQueen wrote:

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this is my personal opinion, so take it for what it is worth.

5 year olds should not have homework.  this is a whole debate/discussion/philosophy, but 5 year olds gain nothing from homework.

start small and instead of putting the book in his bag, just remind him to do it at the time you would, and make him actually do it. they still need supervision at this age. some may be very responsible and take more pride in these type of things, but many it is not even on their radar yet.

yes, they need to learn to be resonsible, but 5 is still young and developmentally some is things are not appropriate.

1st grade you will need to start working on it more, but every kid is very different. boys and girls tend to be very different when it comes to organization,etc.

packing your 5 year olds snack and water is not coddeling him.

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I 100% agree with all of this.

 

I agree with the others. I think that teaching them to do things for themselves also builds self confidence and allows them to contribute positively to the family and eventually to society. At this age they need lots of guidance and supervision. Yes it takes longer, but in the long run it's easier. I know we have Elizabeth pick up her room every night and we have to sit there and point things out to her. The more she cleans her room, the less we are having to tell her. They will all get there. They just need the time to do it.

I agree with everybody else. I do ask Gavin to put his snack in his backpack but at this age if he doesn't do it I don't send him without one. If he was older and didn't then that would be a consequence. He does it when I ask. I agree that it is so much faster for us to do things but in the long run we are going to help them and ourselves if we have them do it. There are things that I ask Gavin to do sometimes and things that I expect him to do all the time. It's hard because my mom does more for him than I do so when we are both at her house he expects me to do it and I won't. (Like, putting his own shoes on which he can obviously do but my mom will do it for him if he asks.)

Just recently he has gotten so much better. They get themselves dressed in the morning. I bring their clothes to them. I am going to start this next week having them pick out their own clothes at night and lay them out for the morning. They brush their own teeth - I check but they have to go into the bathroom and get their toothbrush and mouth wash and all that.

They wash themselves in the shower - but of course I will help but the expectation is for them to do it. They help fold the clothes but I have a really hard time with that because I'm a control freak. But they love to help fold clothes and I figure if I discourage them now then they will never help. Gavin hangs his clothes up on occassion. A lot of time I do it when they are sleeping so he doesn't hang his clothes up a ton.

As far as homework goes - I agree about this being so young to have homework. Gavin gets something every Friday and it's more about doing something school related over the weekend than actual homework.

ditto to everyone else. Im just trying to instill some level of responsibility, and also so I dont have to do everything!

I think I say "come on K, you are killing me!" At least once a day. :bag

But, I just wanted to add an anecdote about the library book. Kiera loves getting books from the library. She lost her book though and was unable to check out another for about three weeks. She knew it was her responsibility and never complained about it. So, after about three weeks, I paid for half and she gladly paid for the other half out of her piggy bank. Yup, we sent the school quarters and dimes in a plastic baggy. Now she knows what happens when she loses her book.

Michele wrote:

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I don't make Lauren pack her stuff yet.  I have enough trouble some days making sure we have complied with the dress code and gotten all the daily paperwork for the agenda handled and signed.  It's very strict and the parents are responsible  in K to make sure everything is done or the child loses a nickel based on their monetary system.  She has homework for every day of the week except Fridays. They have writing assignments (sentences), spelling words and math. Do most kids not have homework yet?

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Wow! That surprises me about the homework. Gavin only gets homework sent home on Fridays which works well for us. It's usually something small - a little book to practice reading or some other writing assignment. 

 

Kaylin has homework M-Th due Friday. It's 6 math questions and some handwriting/reading practice. She LOVES doing it and it takes fewer than 10 minutes. I do pack her snack, but mostly because I throw it in as I'm making lunch. I do make her put her own homework in her backpack. Now does she always turn it in? Not so much.

this was really interesting to read.

i try to give emily (and jake) tasks that they can complete easily and we're really big on routine.

when we get home, for example, they know they have to "do their stuff." that means coats hung up, shoes in closets, lunchboxes on the counter, water bottles in the sink and emily has to unload her backpack.

in the morning, i pack the lunches and snacks (emily's in full-day so she needs 2). after breakfast, she knows she needs to do her backpack, so she puts her lunchbox in there, snacks in the pocket and waterbottle in the side pocket. then she sets the bag by the door.

if they're home, we have them put laundry away, but a lot of time this gets done while they're at school.

they are also responsible for picking up their own rooms, etc. (we threaten the garbage bag trick :bag:)

there is no fight about any of these things b/c it is the daily routine. emily feeds the pets in the morning and jake in the evening. again, not much of a fight (unless i interrupt jake in the middle of something he's really into to go feed the animals) because it's their daily routine.

i think that if you want joe to take on a little more responsibility, that's fair, but it needs to be a daily thing that just becomes a normal part of his day.

i have a 33 year old husband that can't handle doing most of these things, never mind my 5 year old son.

the only real responsibilities connor has is to pick up his toys, put his dirty laundry in his basket and put his dishes in the sink after meals. i pack his backpack every morning. they don't have snack or lunch at school (it is only 1/2 day here) so no need to worry about that yet.