hi beauties- first let me apologize for not checking in much lately - this gutting-the-dining room thing has killed me. i havent even been updating on FB much.
things are good here, but C is as hard as ever - soooo temperamental - i know 3 is a tough age and i was prepared that it would be a trainwreck with her, and she gives me SO much joy so much of the time, but the girl still can't self-soothe to save her life. bruuuuuutal. it's to the point that it's really having an effect on the functioning of the family, so i need to try new approaches.
she has a real gift with art. she's only 3, and she's drawing full-on scenario pictures (kids rolling snowmen, her house with smoke out the chimney, her meeting santa and giving him a lollipop, people decorating christmas trees, etc). her fine motors are unbelievable, AND she's very very calm when drawing. more calm than when doing anything else. today she drew for like 2 hours straight. plus, she doesnt want to be bothered while drawing (score!) - she doesnt like ideas, she wants to do it her way.
i'm running with this. does anyone know anything about art therapy? i'm looking for some info on how to integrate art with relaxation, temper regulation, etc. i want her to associate it with feelings of calmness and learn to use it to that end - i just dont quite know how to get there. it's obvious that i cant redirect her to art DURING a tantrum- so i'm not sure how to use art as a tool.
any ideas at all (especially from any educators on here) would be greatly appreciated. thank you guys! (i'll post pics of my DR soon).
I don't have any ideas but how wonderful that she has found something she really loves like that.
I hope you find the info you need.
thanks sonya -
i have to start searching for books or articles - i have a few friends who do child therapy but it's usually to work out specific conflicts (ie divorce) - i'm not really sure if it's applicable for someone with just a really bad temper :)
I am not claiming to be an art therapist, but I think you are familiar with social stories, right? Could you write on the bottom of a few sheets of paper a story depicting a certain scenario she in which she has trouble controlling her anger. For each page with a sentence of two, have her illustrate it. Then you can refer back to it and talk about what she has on the page to trigger her memory. It might have more meaning to her because she was part of creating it.
I know that in the classroom behavior modification often includes practice scenarios and social stories are a way to do that. We also did some with Elizabeth when she was having some trouble communicating because she was intimidated.
I don't have input on art therapy per se, but Lance and Cara sound very similar with the inability to self-soothe *and* the one thing that they really can throw themselves into. For him, it's building/disassembling something.
I watched him take a ball point pen he'd never seen before and completely take it apart (spring, ink barrel, the works) and reassemble most of it (he had trouble with the little coupler ring thing that went between the two parts of the outer shell) without help. It took 20 minutes, on an otherwise BAD day, and he was just totally engrossed.
He'll build for hours if you let him. And he is GOOD at it. He can do things with wooden blocks that I'm not sure I could manage that easily.
What I wanted to say is that for us, it's helped to guarantee him X time/day for building. I tell him "Let's eat a good lunch and take a restful nap and then it'll be time to play with blocks, k?" and that goes over so much better if he knows that he only has to get through X and Y (even if he hates X and Y) to get to do what he really wants to do...and I remind him as we move through the day that he'll have that time (and I herd Holly and Evie away from him during it as much as possible).
We try to have building time in the morning and afternoon no matter what else is going on in our day, and I can see how much it helps. He is still inconsolable and darn near unreachable in his tantrums and meltdowns (and he will scream and cry for an hour sometimes!), but I have thought too, about how I might be able to better use what he loves, to help him learn to calm himself down. I will be watching this thread!
I am not claiming to be an art therapist, but I think you are familiar with social stories, right? Could you write on the bottom of a few sheets of paper a story depicting a certain scenario she in which she has trouble controlling her anger. For each page with a sentence of two, have her illustrate it. Then you can refer back to it and talk about what she has on the page to trigger her memory. It might have more meaning to her because she was part of creating it.
I know that in the classroom behavior modification often includes practice scenarios and social stories are a way to do that. We also did some with Elizabeth when she was having some trouble communicating because she was intimidated.
thanks so much libby, i was hoping you'd chime in :) i am goign to look into this approach for sure - i think it could really help her. there are soooo many scenarios that come to mind! bath, bed, meals, anything we have to get in the car for, coats, sweatshirts, snacks, choosing a hair bow, commercials on tv - you name it, it's a crisis. i cant wait to try - thank you so much!!
I don't have input on art therapy per se, but Lance and Cara sound very similar with the inability to self-soothe *and* the one thing that they really can throw themselves into. For him, it's building/disassembling something.
I watched him take a ball point pen he'd never seen before and completely take it apart (spring, ink barrel, the works) and reassemble most of it (he had trouble with the little coupler ring thing that went between the two parts of the outer shell) without help. It took 20 minutes, on an otherwise BAD day, and he was just totally engrossed.
He'll build for hours if you let him. And he is GOOD at it. He can do things with wooden blocks that I'm not sure I could manage that easily.
What I wanted to say is that for us, it's helped to guarantee him X time/day for building. I tell him "Let's eat a good lunch and take a restful nap and then it'll be time to play with blocks, k?" and that goes over so much better if he knows that he only has to get through X and Y (even if he hates X and Y) to get to do what he really wants to do...and I remind him as we move through the day that he'll have that time (and I herd Holly and Evie away from him during it as much as possible).
We try to have building time in the morning and afternoon no matter what else is going on in our day, and I can see how much it helps. He is still inconsolable and darn near unreachable in his tantrums and meltdowns (and he will scream and cry for an hour sometimes!), but I have thought too, about how I might be able to better use what he loves, to help him learn to calm himself down. I will be watching this thread!
All of that to say that fwiw, you're not alone.
omg i totally forgot that lance was colicky too - i really think it's a personality trait as opposed to a newborn "stage" - in "raising your spirited child" it really argues that it's a lifelong trait (that often comes with creativity) and i fully believe this - anyone with a kid who was as colicky as cara/lance say that the inability to mellow out stays for life - GREAT!!
does lance do great at school? cara is perfect at school - the life of the party. it's just my own special hell here at home :) i should definitely be using art as positive reinf/reward.
that's interesting that lance is really invested in building. it sounds so similar. C gets completely lost in drawing. her face literally changes - it gets sooo peaceful, when usually she has a furrowed brow (we call her eyebrows "drawstrings"). she can also draw things upside down, which amazes me - like if the paper is facing me, she can draw people upside down and even gets the mouth in the right direction for smiling. blows me away.
thanks for the input, and it's so nice to see that L is still having similar issues - suuuuuuch a hard personality type!!
FWIW, Elizabeth has always had trouble with transitions. I think C is probably able to do the marble jar (or whatever jar). When her marble jar is full from getting cooperation marbles, she can go pick something out in your "art store". We cheat and usually do a daily round up at dinner time and sometimes have to catch up on a day or two, but it did seem to help. You could also include special art times or actvities like getting to draw in a fun but unusual place or to music or whatever would appeal to her.
FWIW, Elizabeth has always had trouble with transitions. I think C is probably able to do the marble jar (or whatever jar). When her marble jar is full from getting cooperation marbles, she can go pick something out in your "art store". We cheat and usually do a daily round up at dinner time and sometimes have to catch up on a day or two, but it did seem to help. You could also include special art times or actvities like getting to draw in a fun but unusual place or to music or whatever would appeal to her.
cool thanks. i'm very inconsistent with the "jar" kind of intervention - i need to be better about that. i cant tell you how many times i've started stuff like that, only to forget about it the next day. ug. neeeed to get better on that one. resolution 2011.
