Poll! sex question!

apies · Guru

Poll! sex question!

beckhamgirls · Senior Member

I voted once. I think my DH would be happy to do the deed 10 times a week if I wanted to, but as long as he gets it at least once he's fine.

apies · Guru

so here is some feedback i'd love if you know or want to ask...

how many times do they feel like they need sex to not have it affect their mood (ie, if i don't have it twice per week, i'm a grump - or whatever)?

how many would be their ultimate number of times in an ideal world?

sappy · Guru

i voted 5 times - as in, in an ideal world he would get it 5x a week.

in reality, i think anything less than twice a week (3 or 4 days) and he's getting grumpy.

Supafly · Guru

Bill and I talked about this recently. He said probably 4 or 5 times a week would be ideal. He thinks we should aim for every other day.

It takes a severe lack of sex to affect his mood. We have gone months when I was sick. He took care of his own business and was ok. No, it isn't the same, but it works for when we can't get the job done. And on weeks we do it a lot, he isn't noticeable happier or anything, unless we are also on vaca.

supergrover · Guru

Supafly wrote:

Bill and I talked about this recently. He said probably 4 or 5 times a week would be ideal. He thinks we should aim for every other day.

It takes a severe lack of sex to affect his mood. We have gone months when I was sick. He took care of his own business and was ok. No, it isn't the same, but it works for when we can't get the job done. And on weeks we do it a lot, he isn't noticeable happier or anything, unless we are also on vaca.

ditto except the getting sick part.

LDSMOM · Senior Member

I voted 3X, that's ideally. As far as what he's fine with, once every 10-14 days before it starts to affect his mood. I compromise at 7-10 days since I'd be happy with every couple of months.

a_mastermom · Guru

Ed and I have a standing 2 times per week minimum - that is the agreement, as businesslike as it sounds. Anything more is a bonus, anything less is cause for discussion. His moods are definitely affected by lack of sex. He gets testy and cranky if any length of time goes by. And I really think twice a week is not enough for him. He would be better off with 4-5 times (I voted 4 times). But with the craziness of full time jobs and three kids that are booked to the gills with activities, twice a week is usually all I have to give.

I am interested to see the replies to this thread because I have often wondered if other men's moods were similarly affected by sexual activity or lack thereof. This has been an issue for us and we have worked out an understanding, but we are not really on the same page when it comes to need.

apies · Guru

thanks for sharing!

matt told me in an ideal world, he'd get it 6 times per week.

he said 5 times per week keeps him happy.

i can definitely tell a change in his mood if it's been longer than 5 days.

in our conversation, i was saying that not all guys want it as much as he does, so your poll results demonstrate.

(fyi, it was just a conversation, not an argument or anything. i'd probably be good with 3 times per week, so we're not TOO far apart.)

eta: his love language is physical touch.

eta: alicia, your scenario sounds a LOT like us. i love that you guys set a minimum. i'm going to set my own personal minimum just to try to keep things flowing here (lol at that gross pun). maybe i'll shoot for 4 and hope for 5. :P

-- Edited by apies on Saturday 30th of October 2010 07:33:58 PM

Alison · Guru

LOL...John takes whatever he can get. More than a month and he gets crabby. I'm so tired that I don't even think about it, though I haven't had much of a libido in years. I think once a week would be a good goal for us, but under our current circumstances (me being touched-out and having inadequate sleep), it's pretty unrealistic. Fortunately he gets that, though he'd be happy with sex several times a week.

Cuppycake · Guru

Alison wrote:

LOL...John takes whatever he can get. More than a month and he gets crabby. I'm so tired that I don't even think about it, though I haven't had much of a libido in years. I think once a week would be a good goal for us, but under our current circumstances (me being touched-out and having inadequate sleep), it's pretty unrealistic. Fortunately he gets that, though he'd be happy with sex several times a week.

Ditto to this, lol.

Circumstances obviously aren't the same, but our schedules are definately not in sync right now, and it is what it is. I literally come in on nights I have school and go straight to bed exhausted. If I stay up 5 minutes after I come in, it's a miracle. So, it's not like sex would be a chore - it's like sex would put me in a coma. And on nights I'm not in school, Joe's working to make up for the time he misses while I'm in class.

It's not a forever situation, but it'll be for a while. I'm trying to make it a priority after it was pointed out in cocktail, because I feel like a pretty shizzy wife, but it is what it is.

Juni · Guru

I voted two but I voted purely on the minimum. I think 2 times a week helps prevent the crankiness and brings us closer together but honestly, I think if it were his ideal world it would be everyday.

Sonya · Guru

Is there a way to block this post so my husband can't read it?

;)

I'd say he's be satisfied with every other day. It's not what he gets. He'd say every day but he definitely gets grump after three days.

Alicia · Senior Member

Not getting it a certain amount of times has never hurt his mood. He has to go weeks without it anyway because of his job but everyday he is home we do it.

-- Edited by Alicia on Sunday 31st of October 2010 02:50:35 PM

beckhamgirls · Senior Member

I cannot imagine having sex 4 or 5 times a week on a regular basis. People that do it this much, where do you find the energy?

sappy · Guru

beckhamgirls wrote:

I cannot imagine having sex 4 or 5 times a week on a regular basis. People that do it this much, where do you find the energy?

we don't actually do it this much, i just voted that 5x a week would be his ideal.

Supafly · Guru

Ok, I told Bill about this and the responses, and lol, he thinks these men are just trying to get more sex, lmao.

*disclaimer-Bill is very opinionated and the opinions below are his and his alone. He clearly does not live in anyone else's houses to know for certain how people feel, though his opinions would lead you to believe so. :)

He said, "Say what??? You mean to tell me they "need" sex that often or it affects their mood that much? No way. What about after their wives have babies and you have to wait weeks? Are they just complete assholes? And what were they like before they were married or with someone seriously? Did they have to find women to sleep with them 4-5 times a week so they weren't grumpy? No. They are just playing it to get more action."

lmao.

(of course, Bill would still take sex pretty much whenever it was offered, as he loves sex, but he doesn't see how a lack of it would make that big of an impact on a person's mood.)

3s_a_crowd · Guru

ftr i voted twice but that was to not affect mood, but didnt vote the ideal.

So now Im wondering if these votes are

need based
mood based
or ideal based.

Juanita · Guru

beckhamgirls wrote:

I cannot imagine having sex 4 or 5 times a week on a regular basis. People that do it this much, where do you find the energy?

I couldn't imagine it either, that is until I started taking testosterone shots about every 4-6 weeks.

I can DEFINITELY see where men want it, because it has made a HUGE difference in our sex life.

I'd say Kenneth ideally would want it everyday, but with his travels he has to go many days without, and there was a time when he came home we might not do it but once a week

Since the shots, it's nearly every day!!!

And on plus side for me, I have an O, EVERY time now, so YAY for me!! lol

Lizzy · Guru

Juanita wrote:

beckhamgirls wrote:

I cannot imagine having sex 4 or 5 times a week on a regular basis. People that do it this much, where do you find the energy?

I couldn't imagine it either, that is until I started taking testosterone shots about every 4-6 weeks.

I can DEFINITELY see where men want it, because it has made a HUGE difference in our sex life.

I'd say Kenneth ideally would want it everyday, but with his travels he has to go many days without, and there was a time when he came home we might not do it but once a week

Since the shots, it's nearly every day!!!

And on plus side for me, I have an O, EVERY time now, so YAY for me!! lol

ahh...so that's your secret to looking so great, huh? ;)