How is your 5 year old?

kris · Guru

How is your 5 year old?

3s_a_crowd · Guru

It sounds a lot like K and she is the oldest.

However sometimes shes lost in the middle as Raym has a lot of focus on him with therapy and scotts the baby.

She never wants to eat what we eat. But lately we are putting our foot down with her.

I think it might just be an age struggle but now that you mention the middle child thing and I see how K could feel stuck in the middle it may be that.

K is slooowly coming around. IM hoping it will be better by Christmas.

muffy · Guru

Sorry you are feeling sad about this. I wonder if it is just a phase.

I can say that Clara is a HANDFUL. She is so strong willed and needs to do EVERYthing herself. She HATES getting up in the morning, pitches a fit if we don't let her wear what she wants (mist often being unappropriate for the weather).

I need to schedule an extra 30 minutes whenever I want to go anywhere with her, or attempt a battle. Can't count how many times Bert flings her over his shoulder and out the door kicking and screaming while I follow with appropriate clothes etc.

Otherwise she is perfectly lovely- so long as everything around her gies as she wants.

Oh, she never eats with us either. We fix a plate of food and leave it at the table. She eats it, but later when she wants. (I think it also had to do with the fact that she won't eat hot or warm food- only room temp.)

I should be more disciplined that I am... But her will can be stronger than mine. *sigh*

kris · Guru

3s_a_crowd wrote:

It sounds a lot like K and she is the oldest.

However sometimes shes lost in the middle as Raym has a lot of focus on him with therapy and scotts the baby.

She never wants to eat what we eat. But lately we are putting our foot down with her.

I think it might just be an age struggle but now that you mention the middle child thing and I see how K could feel stuck in the middle it may be that.

K is slooowly coming around. IM hoping it will be better by Christmas.

I was talking to his daycare teacher about tieing shoes and she said that they work on it in August but the kids don't really get it until about December. She said that there will be a huge change in Jake b/w now and the first of the year. I'm interested to see if that is the case for Jake. He is definitely different from John so it's almost like I'm a first time mom of a Kindergartner!!

I try so hard not to let him get lost in the shuffle but it seems like the saying "the squeeky wheel gets the oil" is so true!

kris · Guru

muffy wrote:

Sorry you are feeling sad about this. I wonder if it is just a phase.

I can say that Clara is a HANDFUL. She is so strong willed and needs to do EVERYthing herself. She HATES getting up in the morning, pitches a fit if we don't let her wear what she wants (mist often being unappropriate for the weather).

I need to schedule an extra 30 minutes whenever I want to go anywhere with her, or attempt a battle. Can't count how many times Bert flings her over his shoulder and out the door kicking and screaming while I follow with appropriate clothes etc.

Otherwise she is perfectly lovely- so long as everything around her gies as she wants.

Oh, she never eats with us either. We fix a plate of food and leave it at the table. She eats it, but later when she wants. (I think it also had to do with the fact that she won't eat hot or warm food- only room temp.)

I should be more disciplined that I am... But her will can be stronger than mine. *sigh*

I can relate to the red. If things don't go Jake's way I am the "worst mother ever" or I hate him.

I'm glad (but not for you) that she doesn't eat with you either. It makes me exhale just a bit b/c I've really started to worry about his eating habits.

I guess you could beat yourself up and say you should be more disciplined but we also have to pick our battles and I've always thought food was not a battle I wanted to engage in. I doubt there is any grown up who only eats lunchables or bologna sandwiches for every meal so I'm hopeful it's a phase (but making him bologna or lunchables so frequently still makes me cringe).

Cuppycake · Guru

muffy wrote:
Otherwise she is perfectly lovely- so long as everything around her gies as she wants.

Oh, she never eats with us either. We fix a plate of food and leave it at the table. She eats it, but later when she wants.

I should be more disciplined that I am... But her will can be stronger than mine. *sigh*

This is exactly us, and obviously we only have Hannah.

I definately think it's a power struggle, and the force is strong with her.

Supafly · Guru

((((HUGS)))))

We don't have the power struggles with Anna (Kate is a different story), but she has been struggling with some things since starting K. She loves school, but she comes home and it like she just turns off. She doesn't seem to hear a thing we say (to the point that one week I was concerned about her hearing-until I tested her with promises of candy), she is worse than ever with Kate, she is either a zombie or a complete wild animal. It has been hard. I really feel with her that she is tired. But I can't let the behavior slide because I know the reason behind it. I try to talk with her calmly about things, but she can't even focus sometimes, and then I end up just sending her to her room by herself to have some downtime.

It obviously isn't the same thing, I know, but I sometimes feel like school has taken my daughter from me. She makes bad choices all the time these days, she cries if I so much as correct her when we are working on her "homework" (they don't have a formal homework program, but they do send things home to go over), she is wretched to her sister, etc. And I try to get them to bed earlier, but that isn't going well. It works out when Bill is traveling, lol, but no other times.

IDK-I keep hoping she will adjust and get back on track, and I am sure at some point she will. In the meantime though, I miss Anna the way she used to be.

As far as eating though, Anna is my good eater, so we never have problems with her on that. And she is also the lazy one who will ask you to do something for her (like socks or shoes) just because she doesn't feel like doing it. Our issues are different, but we are definitely having issues. :(

Juanita · Guru

I think it's just 5 year olds, lol. We're having some struggles to, especially the doing what she wants when she wants thing.

I think it's just the age thing.

Alyssa · Guru

Kris, I can relate to everything you wrote. Ethan is so bossy right now. He tells me all the time that he is the boss and I have to do what he says. Also, he tries to threaten me--you have to let me do this or I won't love you.

His eating habits are not the best yesterday. He told EJ that when I have my friend over, we ignore him and sit at the table and don't include him yet it's a struggle to get him to sit with us. Last night he sat with us for 5 minutes and then moved over to the couch and started watching tv. And he's always hungry yet he rarely eats a full meal.

I'm hoping it's the age. It's ironic he complains to me that some of the kids at school are bossy so he doesn't like them and I'm like really? have you listened to yourself lately?

kris · Guru

Supafly wrote:

((((HUGS)))))

We don't have the power struggles with Anna (Kate is a different story), but she has been struggling with some things since starting K. She loves school, but she comes home and it like she just turns off. She doesn't seem to hear a thing we say (to the point that one week I was concerned about her hearing-until I tested her with promises of candy), she is worse than ever with Kate, she is either a zombie or a complete wild animal. It has been hard. I really feel with her that she is tired. But I can't let the behavior slide because I know the reason behind it. I try to talk with her calmly about things, but she can't even focus sometimes, and then I end up just sending her to her room by herself to have some downtime.

It obviously isn't the same thing, I know, but I sometimes feel like school has taken my daughter from me. She makes bad choices all the time these days, she cries if I so much as correct her when we are working on her "homework" (they don't have a formal homework program, but they do send things home to go over), she is wretched to her sister, etc. And I try to get them to bed earlier, but that isn't going well. It works out when Bill is traveling, lol, but no other times.

IDK-I keep hoping she will adjust and get back on track, and I am sure at some point she will. In the meantime though, I miss Anna the way she used to be.

As far as eating though, Anna is my good eater, so we never have problems with her on that. And she is also the lazy one who will ask you to do something for her (like socks or shoes) just because she doesn't feel like doing it. Our issues are different, but we are definitely having issues. :(

we are really having issues in this area. He will do anything to make Kate scream - take her babies, etc. and he will just hit her if she does anything he doesn't like. She will hit him back and he will hit her harder. I am constantly on him to be nice.

I think K is just hard on them - like you I know that Jake is tired. I can see it in his face and his reaction to the smallest thing - he will just burst out in tears and that is so not Jake.

I'm hoping his teacher is right and come December we will see some changes.

kris · Guru

Alyssa wrote:

Kris, I can relate to everything you wrote. Ethan is so bossy right now. He tells me all the time that he is the boss and I have to do what he says. Also, he tries to threaten me--you have to let me do this or I won't love you.

His eating habits are not the best yesterday. He told EJ that when I have my friend over, we ignore him and sit at the table and don't include him yet it's a struggle to get him to sit with us. Last night he sat with us for 5 minutes and then moved over to the couch and started watching tv. And he's always hungry yet he rarely eats a full meal.

I'm hoping it's the age. It's ironic he complains to me that some of the kids at school are bossy so he doesn't like them and I'm like really? have you listened to yourself lately?

This is one of the things that is driving me insane. It's like I'm running a 24 hour diner or something! He will not be up from his "meal" for 5 minutes and will say "can I have a snack?" I'm about to pull my hair out!

I wonder if since the kids are bossing him at school he feels like he has no control so he wants to try to exercise some over you.

I swear a lot of this has to do with the fact that they have no control and are constantly being told what to do by a bunch of crazy grown ups!!

Alyssa · Guru

kris wrote:

Alyssa wrote:

Kris, I can relate to everything you wrote. Ethan is so bossy right now. He tells me all the time that he is the boss and I have to do what he says. Also, he tries to threaten me--you have to let me do this or I won't love you.

His eating habits are not the best yesterday. He told EJ that when I have my friend over, we ignore him and sit at the table and don't include him yet it's a struggle to get him to sit with us. Last night he sat with us for 5 minutes and then moved over to the couch and started watching tv. And he's always hungry yet he rarely eats a full meal.

I'm hoping it's the age. It's ironic he complains to me that some of the kids at school are bossy so he doesn't like them and I'm like really? have you listened to yourself lately?

This is one of the things that is driving me insane. It's like I'm running a 24 hour diner or something! He will not be up from his "meal" for 5 minutes and will say "can I have a snack?" I'm about to pull my hair out!

I wonder if since the kids are bossing him at school he feels like he has no control so he wants to try to exercise some over you.

I swear a lot of this has to do with the fact that they have no control and are constantly being told what to do by a bunch of crazy grown ups!!

Oh I totally agree. He wants to be in control and he isn't. Plus Ethan wants to be the best and please his teacher so I'm sure he's on his best behavior all day long and when he gets home, he's letting out everything he held inside all day. I'm sure that's part of it with Jake too.

Sonya · Guru

Ditto ditto ditto

He's a complete loony toon.

It's been better the last week or so but it comes and goes.

His former daycare teacher suggested we find things he can control so he feels like he has some control over his life. I haven't figured out what to do for that. It's hard to find things to let him contr that doesn't affect Josie too.

muffy · Guru

kris wrote:

Supafly wrote:

((((HUGS)))))

We don't have the power struggles with Anna (Kate is a different story), but she has been struggling with some things since starting K. She loves school, but she comes home and it like she just turns off. She doesn't seem to hear a thing we say (to the point that one week I was concerned about her hearing-until I tested her with promises of candy), she is worse than ever with Kate, she is either a zombie or a complete wild animal. It has been hard. I really feel with her that she is tired. But I can't let the behavior slide because I know the reason behind it. I try to talk with her calmly about things, but she can't even focus sometimes, and then I end up just sending her to her room by herself to have some downtime.

It obviously isn't the same thing, I know, but I sometimes feel like school has taken my daughter from me. She makes bad choices all the time these days, she cries if I so much as correct her when we are working on her "homework" (they don't have a formal homework program, but they do send things home to go over), she is wretched to her sister, etc. And I try to get them to bed earlier, but that isn't going well. It works out when Bill is traveling, lol, but no other times.

IDK-I keep hoping she will adjust and get back on track, and I am sure at some point she will. In the meantime though, I miss Anna the way she used to be.

As far as eating though, Anna is my good eater, so we never have problems with her on that. And she is also the lazy one who will ask you to do something for her (like socks or shoes) just because she doesn't feel like doing it. Our issues are different, but we are definitely having issues. :(

we are really having issues in this area. He will do anything to make Kate scream - take her babies, etc. and he will just hit her if she does anything he doesn't like. She will hit him back and he will hit her harder. I am constantly on him to be nice.
I think K is just hard on them - like you I know that Jake is tired. I can see it in his face and his reaction to the smallest thing - he will just burst out in tears and that is so not Jake.
I'm hoping his teacher is right and come December we will see some changes.

DITTO DITTO! Clara knows EXACTLY how to push ceciles buttons. she does it in a quite discreet way. like little kicks and pushes, nothing really big. and cecile is vocal so she starts yelling "clara stop it" and we end up yelling at cecile because she is shouting...

oy vey!

sappy · Guru

i hate to say this but i'm really happy to see this. i've been having a ton of issues with mikey too - i assumed it was something like bad parenting on my part since he's been sick so long (ie: i spoiled him rotten or something).

he is SO moody if he doesn't get his way. he crosses his arms in a huff and says "That's it. I QUIT!"

he has never been a good eater so that's nothing new.

yeah - LOTS of issues here too.

Tiffany · Senior Member

I'm glad to read this. I felt like someone abducted my kid and traded her with someone else's kid! She is good most of the time but when it comes to the bad moments, I think... wow I thought 3 was tough but man, 5 year olds are so sensitive and more demanding thatn I thought! I hope all our kids grow out of this phase soon and give us a break before the next kid hits 5! LOL

kris · Guru

muffy wrote:

kris wrote:

Supafly wrote:

((((HUGS)))))

We don't have the power struggles with Anna (Kate is a different story), but she has been struggling with some things since starting K. She loves school, but she comes home and it like she just turns off. She doesn't seem to hear a thing we say (to the point that one week I was concerned about her hearing-until I tested her with promises of candy), she is worse than ever with Kate, she is either a zombie or a complete wild animal. It has been hard. I really feel with her that she is tired. But I can't let the behavior slide because I know the reason behind it. I try to talk with her calmly about things, but she can't even focus sometimes, and then I end up just sending her to her room by herself to have some downtime.

It obviously isn't the same thing, I know, but I sometimes feel like school has taken my daughter from me. She makes bad choices all the time these days, she cries if I so much as correct her when we are working on her "homework" (they don't have a formal homework program, but they do send things home to go over), she is wretched to her sister, etc. And I try to get them to bed earlier, but that isn't going well. It works out when Bill is traveling, lol, but no other times.

IDK-I keep hoping she will adjust and get back on track, and I am sure at some point she will. In the meantime though, I miss Anna the way she used to be.

As far as eating though, Anna is my good eater, so we never have problems with her on that. And she is also the lazy one who will ask you to do something for her (like socks or shoes) just because she doesn't feel like doing it. Our issues are different, but we are definitely having issues. :(

we are really having issues in this area. He will do anything to make Kate scream - take her babies, etc. and he will just hit her if she does anything he doesn't like. She will hit him back and he will hit her harder. I am constantly on him to be nice.
I think K is just hard on them - like you I know that Jake is tired. I can see it in his face and his reaction to the smallest thing - he will just burst out in tears and that is so not Jake.
I'm hoping his teacher is right and come December we will see some changes.

DITTO DITTO! Clara knows EXACTLY how to push ceciles buttons. she does it in a quite discreet way. like little kicks and pushes, nothing really big. and cecile is vocal so she starts yelling "clara stop it" and we end up yelling at cecile because she is shouting...
oy vey!

yes!!! I know Jake does things to John and John is so loud and wants to get jake in trouble so he will yell at him to stop. It is constant drama!

kris · Guru

misery loves company!!

sorry that you are all having issues too but glad we're not alone!!

knowing he is not the only one makes it less likely I will hang him from a tree by his toes!!

Chickie · Senior Member

I hate to say I'm happy everyone else is going through this, but I'm so glad it's not just us.

I keep joking that we are about ready to take Nolan back, but I can't find the receipt.

He has us at our wits end. It reminds me a lot of the tantrums he would throw when he was two. Except then he couldn't talk so I could understand the behavior a little more. Now he knows all the words, and he uses them!

Corey · Guru

wow. it is the complete opposite at my house. connor was a holy terror from 3-5, then it was like a switch got flipped when he turned 5 and he is totally different. i think the structure of daily school has been really good for him. he is so much more enjoyable and less wild these days. he still terrorizes grace sometimes, but all in all he is waaaay better than he used to be.