How would you feel about this?

Alison · Guru

How would you feel about this?

Alicia · Senior Member

Raven sees nudity at home including opposite gender but I would have a problem with this. One teacher could have went into the bathroom with the boys and then the girls. At this age they could of at least made the kids put underwear on(with boys and girls separated) and then they could of helped with the other clothes. I would also say something. You're not the only parent that would be upset by this but maybe the only to have seen it.

Alison · Guru

Alicia wrote:

Raven sees nudity at home including opposite gender but I would have a problem with this. One teacher could have went into the bathroom with the boys and then the girls. At this age they could of at least made the kids put underwear on(with boys and girls separated) and then they could of helped with the other clothes. I would also say something. You're not the only parent that would be upset by this but maybe the only to have seen it.

That's my inclination too. Mason sees Evie naked and even me when he insists on being in my room when I shower, but this isn't family.

supergrover · Guru

Hmm, I agree, they could have had them dress seperate, at the same time I'm not sure I (personally) would be angry about it. Our preK childrens bathroom is co-ed and no doors which never bothered me. There are two toilets (super tiny), no walls in between and two sinks. There are kids in and out of that place constantly irregardless of gender. I guess it never even occured to me to be uncomfortable with it.

dunno.

Juni · Guru

Well, I don't think it's good practice AT ALL. There are so many different reasons why. Just that there is that opportunity for kids to touch each other naked - innocently I'm sure but no okay still. Also, not everybody has had the opportunity to see opposite gender body parts and I think it's the parents responsibility to go into details about that if they are so inclined.

I can see this in a room with 2 year old where they just whip their clothes off and don't quite understand teachers telling them to wait and get help but these are kindergarten aged children.

The other things is that this is a place where adults that you do not know come - parents, maybe a friend with them, maybe a maintenance person - who knows. Having naked children out like that is just not good practice - especially in this day and age where everybody has a camera phone. I know, it's a leap but all I can say is it's not a good practice! They are putting themselves in a much higher liability risk just by doing this and it is definitely something they could avoid even if it means that it takes more time to have them get dressed.

And we are like Alicia - the boys see both of us naked (not together!) and we have no issue with it. They hop in the tub with me pretty much every time they find me in the tub. So, it's not that nudity is an issue for us, it's just that I think this is just a bad situation.

Cuppycake · Guru

Juni wrote:

Well, I don't think it's good practice AT ALL. There are so many different reasons why. Just that there is that opportunity for kids to touch each other naked - innocently I'm sure but no okay still. Also, not everybody has had the opportunity to see opposite gender body parts and I think it's the parents responsibility to go into details about that if they are so inclined.

I can see this in a room with 2 year old where they just whip their clothes off and don't quite understand teachers telling them to wait and get help but these are kindergarten aged children.

The other things is that this is a place where adults that you do not know come - parents, maybe a friend with them, maybe a maintenance person - who knows. Having naked children out like that is just not good practice - especially in this day and age where everybody has a camera phone. I know, it's a leap but all I can say is it's not a good practice! They are putting themselves in a much higher liability risk just by doing this and it is definitely something they could avoid even if it means that it takes more time to have them get dressed.

And we are like Alicia - the boys see both of us naked (not together!) and we have no issue with it. They hop in the tub with me pretty much every time they find me in the tub. So, it's not that nudity is an issue for us, it's just that I think this is just a bad situation.

Ditto on all this.

And I would be surprised to find out they aren't breaking some kind of rule or law if not statewide, with the county or the company itself.

I'd be pissed. It doesn't really matter to me if Mason has a sister or not - if you choose to let them see each other in the skivvies and less, that's YOUR choice. Your child care provider doesn't get to make those kind of decisions (which to me, are pretty major since opinions vary greatly) all willy-nilly.

I can tell you that that NEVER would have flied at my former employer - and they let a LOT of stuff fly that should not have, and was emphatically more dangerous.

Sara · Guru

We had splash day like this but I was in a room of 2 year olds. So for that I saw no issue.

The age our 05er's are now I would think it is a bit much to have them like that.

Corey · Guru

i totally agree with everything jenn said. my kids still bathe together, but imo seeing your sibling naked in the tub and seeing your classmates naked is completely different. plus, not every child has an opposite gender sibling so this might have been quite a shock for some of these kids the first time they had splash day.

i also agree that with the age of technology having naked children running around is just a bad idea all around. what if instead of you dropping off mason's lunch it was one of his classmates uncles, etc dropping something off...who knows who is coming and going into that classroom. i would definitely say something to the director.

muffy · Guru

Ok mine probably does not count as i live in europe where it is more laid back - but claras kindergarden class goes swimming every 2 weeks. 12 kids. 1 teacher plus a helper to get them to the pool and into the pool (and more lifeguards instructor and such in the water)... But the teacher is given one changing room. I have no probs with this.

Starting at 6 years old, first grade, they swim once a week and is is segregated.

muffy · Guru

Juni and others - sorry cant quote with my dang ipad.

So... Are you saying it is not appropriate for kids to go swimming at all? Because they could possibly be seen naked by someone? Who might have a cell phone?

If i understood correctly, i am surprised at such a conservative attitude. Would that mean they could not go to camp for the same reason?

My kids swim with school once a week, take many many field trips. Clara went to overnight camp with her school for 2 night this past may, and will go to camp every year throughout grade school...i cant help but think it is so limiting to not let our kids do stuff like this. (and makes me happy that we live in a place where kids are free to do fun stuff like this)

Man, i am so sorry that our world is turned into such a fear filled place...

Cuppycake · Guru

That's definately not what I'm saying.

I think there's a big difference between accidentally seeing another kid in their nakedness, and having a classroom of naked kids running around. I'm not exactly sure why they aren't having kids go in the bathroom 2 at a time (or however many the bathroom with hold) and having them change, while an assistant is outside the bathroom with the other children (or outside, if they are sopping wet) until they can get changed. And I still think that changing should be same gender.

For me (personally) the issue is really that it isn't anyone else's place to put my child in a position to expose her to something she may or many not have been exposed to before. I would be just as mad at my sister if she did this with Hannah and my nephew without me knowing, because if the whole anatomy talk is something I want to have with Hannah, I'd broach it on my own.

But I do agree with Juni about the risk, but it's not my main beef - but it is something that I think is common enough of a problem here, that the risk shouldn't be taken.

I'm not a prude at all, but being a single child household, I wouldn't want Hannah's first questions to come from an experience I wasn't prepared for. Plus, with that age getting ready to go to Kindergarten, I don't want Hannah to think it's appropriate to be running around with her privates showing. We have had talks about how it's not appropriate to let anyone else see them, and I think that's a difficult thing to explain away - "Oh, no it's okay to be naked in your prek class, because your teacher was there and just couldn't keep her eyes everyone at one time. But you can't show the mailman." In fact, the RN at her pedi was just talking to Hannah during her well-check when she had to check her private parts about how it was only okay to show them to her because I was in the room, and she was her doctor, etc.

Juni · Guru

muffy wrote:

Juni and others - sorry cant quote with my dang ipad.

So... Are you saying it is not appropriate for kids to go swimming at all? Because they could possibly be seen naked by someone? Who might have a cell phone?

If i understood correctly, i am surprised at such a conservative attitude. Would that mean they could not go to camp for the same reason?

My kids swim with school once a week, take many many field trips. Clara went to overnight camp with her school for 2 night this past may, and will go to camp every year throughout grade school...i cant help but think it is so limiting to not let our kids do stuff like this. (and makes me happy that we live in a place where kids are free to do fun stuff like this)

Man, i am so sorry that our world is turned into such a fear filled place...

Not at all. I just don't think this is the place for something like this. For one - obviously the parents don't know about and it just isn't a good idea for a daycare to run things this way.

We take the kids on field trips to the YMCA and the boys go in the boys locker room with a male staff (and other males - dads, etc. and we try not to ever be alone with a child) and vice versa with the girls but that (to me) is expected when you go to a public pool. We encourage parents to dress their children at home and then they sit with their towels afterwards or dress themselves of their parents do it. We would help them but we make a point to let them be responsible for themselves and I just don't think it's a good idea for someone to be in that situation. It's just so easy for something innocent to be turned around and there goes your credibility, your job, etc.

I think the biggest point is what Leah said is that it isn't anyone else's place to put my child in that situation. I take my kids swimming alot and have no issue with them being naked. But at the same time I respect that I am in a locker room for women and girls and maybe those moms don't want their kids to see my boys naked so we aren't flashy about it.

I teach my boys to be modest but at the same time not ashamed if that makes sense. They see me naked every day, and they run around naked at home and are in their underwear most of the time t home. So, nudity isn't an issue it's just that I don't think this is a good idea.

I do think I am probably more conservative though because I wouldn't let Gavin do overnights with school -- and I am not saying that judgmentally at all. That isn't something they do here anyway so maybe that is why but sleepovers are going to be pretty much out of the question with non-family. I think that we do need to let our kids explore and be independent and I let them in many other ways. But, there are a lot of really skeevy people out there and I think my job has a lot to do with the way I feel about certain things.

muffy · Guru

I am wondering if my kids experience is different because the pool they go to is an private one for the schools only to use. Teachers can choose regular time slots and there is noone else there except school and pool personnel. I still dont think i would have a prob with a public pool.

I would think that letting kids get dressed 2 by 2 would take hours lol!

I can see why you guys feel this way. I have to keep reminding myself that europe is very different from america with regards to nudity. Funny, yesterday we were at the columbus zoo waterpark with a good friend and her kids and we were eating lunch there and clara apparently didnt want to eat in a wet suit so she dropped her swimsuit and put her sundress on. I didnt even notice until my friend said "oh my GOD you child is naked" in such a way you would think she just robbed a bank. It took her maybe 15 seconds to get her dress on, she had it prepared so no running around per say. Oops!

Alicia · Senior Member

muffy wrote:

Juni and others - sorry cant quote with my dang ipad.

So... Are you saying it is not appropriate for kids to go swimming at all? Because they could possibly be seen naked by someone? Who might have a cell phone?

If i understood correctly, i am surprised at such a conservative attitude. Would that mean they could not go to camp for the same reason?

My kids swim with school once a week, take many many field trips. Clara went to overnight camp with her school for 2 night this past may, and will go to camp every year throughout grade school...i cant help but think it is so limiting to not let our kids do stuff like this. (and makes me happy that we live in a place where kids are free to do fun stuff like this)

Man, i am so sorry that our world is turned into such a fear filled place...

I've never been anywhere that someone could see me naked if I didn't want them. School, camp, swimming, gym all have places to change in privacy so I wouldn't be limiting anything.

daisy · Guru

Juni wrote:

Well, I don't think it's good practice AT ALL. There are so many different reasons why. Just that there is that opportunity for kids to touch each other naked - innocently I'm sure but no okay still. Also, not everybody has had the opportunity to see opposite gender body parts and I think it's the parents responsibility to go into details about that if they are so inclined.

I can see this in a room with 2 year old where they just whip their clothes off and don't quite understand teachers telling them to wait and get help but these are kindergarten aged children.

The other things is that this is a place where adults that you do not know come - parents, maybe a friend with them, maybe a maintenance person - who knows. Having naked children out like that is just not good practice - especially in this day and age where everybody has a camera phone. I know, it's a leap but all I can say is it's not a good practice! They are putting themselves in a much higher liability risk just by doing this and it is definitely something they could avoid even if it means that it takes more time to have them get dressed.

And we are like Alicia - the boys see both of us naked (not together!) and we have no issue with it. They hop in the tub with me pretty much every time they find me in the tub. So, it's not that nudity is an issue for us, it's just that I think this is just a bad situation.

havent read all yet, but ita with the bold - this little boy unexpectedly dropped trow on a playdate last year and R was SHOCKED - she got super shaky and nervous (didnt expect to see anything different down there) - and she had questions for DAYS about it - it's not how i intended to explain any of that to her.
the naked at preschool thing - i wouldnt be down with that at all. :dunno

daisy · Guru

muffy wrote:

I am wondering if my kids experience is different because the pool they go to is an private one for the schools only to use. Teachers can choose regular time slots and there is noone else there except school and pool personnel. I still dont think i would have a prob with a public pool.

I would think that letting kids get dressed 2 by 2 would take hours lol!

I can see why you guys feel this way. I have to keep reminding myself that europe is very different from america with regards to nudity. Funny, yesterday we were at the columbus zoo waterpark with a good friend and her kids and we were eating lunch there and clara apparently didnt want to eat in a wet suit so she dropped her swimsuit and put her sundress on. I didnt even notice until my friend said "oh my GOD you child is naked" in such a way you would think she just robbed a bank. It took her maybe 15 seconds to get her dress on, she had it prepared so no running around per say. Oops!

i'm teaching my kids to be pretty modest i guess - it's just how i was raised (i'm very modest) so it's out of my comfort zone to be any other way. at the pool, i dont make them go into a changing room though - i help them by holding their towels while they pull on their clothes, etc - i am smooth about it so it's not a huge COVER YOURSELF! kind of deal in the slightest. and it's not like they're embarrassed to be naked or anything - they're naked in the house a lot. but i always teach them that their bodies are their business and that's that.

tabatha · Senior Member

i would really have a problem with that also. you know this year c told me about some boys sitting next to her that chased her outside and kept lifting up her skirt. so, obviously they are at a curious age which has the potential for badness in a room full of naked kids.

also, as others mentioned, i'm not wanting to have the penis vs. vagina convo yet. not in depth, anyway.

CoffeeQueen · Guru

It really is poor practice for a school. It leaves them open for accusations. Is this a daycare or preschool?

If kids cannot dress themselves at this age then they need to at least group by boy/ girl and have one teacher take one group to a restroom or bathroom.

It is odd practice for a school in this day and age with all the laws, etc in place.

I would bring it to their attention so they can change this for future children.

Juanita · Guru

CoffeeQueen wrote:

It really is poor practice for a school. It leaves them open for accusations. Is this a daycare or preschool?

If kids cannot dress themselves at this age then they need to at least group by boy/ girl and have one teacher take one group to a restroom or bathroom.

It is odd practice for a school in this day and age with all the laws, etc in place.

I would bring it to their attention so they can change this for future children.

ditto

People this day and age are CRAZY and law suit happy..I would NEVER subject myself with a room full of naked children just for that reason. I know I'd never do anything inappropriate, but just like Alison walking in, another person who just might want to accuse me of something could walk in and accusations could fly.

You have to CYA in this world today. Not only for yourself, but for your kids too!

Alison · Guru

CoffeeQueen wrote:

It really is poor practice for a school. It leaves them open for accusations. Is this a daycare or preschool?

If kids cannot dress themselves at this age then they need to at least group by boy/ girl and have one teacher take one group to a restroom or bathroom.

It is odd practice for a school in this day and age with all the laws, etc in place.

I would bring it to their attention so they can change this for future children.

Thanks so much for the feedback, everybody!!!

John thinks it's not a huge deal, but he understands why I'm upset about it.

I have 2 of the moms at Mason's school (whose kids are there only sporadically over the summer) on my Facebook, and I messaged them about this to see if they knew, and haven't heard back yet. They both have girls, and I have a feeling they didn't know about this.

It's a daycare. Mason is in the preschool class there - there are some kids who are full-time and some part-time.

I will let you ladies know what happens. I'm so nervous about saying anything, because I feel like a schmuck for not even knowing all summer - but like I said, it was never conveyed in any way to the parents that the kids would all be naked together. And you know how 5 year olds are! They might tell you a huge long true story about something, or not say anything at all about the most important things. Or at least that's how Mason is!

Thanks again. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in being uncomfortable about this!