What would you do different with another baby?

Alison · Guru

RE: What would you do different with another baby?

allvowels · Veteran Member

Hi, everyone! Sorry I haven't been around in a LONG time! (So long that I completely forgot what my username was----I had to use the search feature (and type in the name Abram) to find a post by me!)

I have been thinking about this question too. I TOTALLY have baby fever, as crazy as that sounds!! I don't think I can get my Dh on board, but we'll see.

If we have a 4th, I would really, really, REALLY want to have a homebirth.   After all of my research about them when Abram was breech and just reading different things since, this is really where my heart is.

I would want to do professional belly pictures this time (and have the other kids in them too). I never did that, and if we did have a 4th, I know that would be our last, so that would be the last chance to do it.

I guess my list is more what I would do differently with the pregnancy and not so much the baby part, huh?!

I would probably do a lot of the baby stuff the same.   I ended up cosleeping with Abram for about 5 months, and this just worked out so much better for me (we co-slept with Emilia for about 3 months too)---I got so much more sleep!

I got a Beco Butterfly II with Abram, and I HIGHLY recommend it! He lived in that thing for the first 8 or 9 months. I barely used a stroller at all until just a few months ago. I still carry him in the Beco a lot--LOVE that thing!! I have joked that I want to have another baby just to use it one more time! haha

I am still crazy breastfeeding lady! haha My goal is age 2 with Abram, so I do worry about getting pregnant before that point and my milk supply really dropping. (I nursed Emilia until 2, and I was only one month pregnant with Abram, so it was fine. I kind of want Abram and our last baby to be a little closer in age, though.)

That's the other thing---the age difference. I loved having 2 and a half years between Abram and Emilia (for my sake), but I kind of want the last two to be closer (for their sake). Addie and Emilia are such great playmates, and I want that for Abram.   But do I really want to put myself through the craziness of two babies again?!

(But if I can't get Dh on board anyway, then there's no point in trying to figure out what would be best! :))

Boots and Bananas · Guru

Given that I am doing this in a few months I have been thinking about it a lot.

Joe said no to cloth diapering :( but I think I can get everything else I want LOL.

I know we plan on having more then one but I want to love every second of having an infant and getting to start over.

Sleep is going to be a priority. I mean I will definitely snuggle my sleeping infant and cant say I will never nurse lying in bed but sleeping in the bassinet/crib is going to be worked on from day one.

I want to make it a year breastfeeding. Lucas weaned around 10 months because I selfishly wanted to eliminate a mid day feed which screwed up my supply and he gave up.

I dont want to be afraid to breastfeed in public.

I want to find a good sling/carrier. Lucas liked the bjorn but I wasnt crazy about it.

I'm sure there is more LOL as I want everything to be different with my different and amazing baby daddy LMAO

supergrover · Guru

For me, I have 2 biggies. I want to go into labo on my own. Both mine have been induced. 1 for high blood pressure, the other for size of baby. I'm hoping taking care of myself will lead to a less hefty baby, lol.

The second is breastfeeding. I've epic failed twice, and that is a really hard and sensitive subject for me. My goal next time is to hire and meet with a lactation consultant before birth to have a relationship established for after birth. I'm so shy and self consious I never felt comfortable just calling the breastfeeding hotline, etc.

Oh, and pushing for a torticollis screening early (tightening of the neck muscles). I had no idea what to look for and Tristen has a slightly mishapen head to this day despite physical therapy, etc.

Geesh, I guess I actually have 4 things. Saving solids for at least 6 months. With Tristen's food allergy, there is no messing with this one for us.

Supafly · Guru

I love this question!

Honestly, Corey hit on it for me. With Anna, I was just a nervous FTM and I don't even remember that much. With Kate, I was trying to survive with a 16 month old who wasn't good with communication, a newborn who projectile vomited constantly, another infection, the onset of an autoimmune disease, and then Kate's PT. I just tried to live through it and was miserable most of the time for a long while. So the third time around, I want to relax and try to enjoy it. If we are lucky enough to get pregnant with a 3rd (hopefully I can get Bill on board for trying now and not waiting), I am fairly certain it will be our last. I am scared to death of it as it is because of my health, and I wouldn't want to chance it a 4th time, even though I wanted 4 kids. So knowing that if we can have another it would be our last, I want to try and savor it all. I'm sure I will still hate the sleepless nights though.

If I am able, I would want to really stick with the breastfeeding, but that is med dependent. I know there are moms who nurse on Remicade, but it is in the baby's system for the first few months, and that makes me nervous. It blocks the production of a protein that is responsible for attacking tumors, and with a baby's already non existent immune system, that doesn't sound like a good idea, kwim? Stopping the remicade is not an option, so I would want as many opinions as I could get before deciding for or against nursing. And if I end up having to start the other med, it is completely contraindicated. I mean, of course, breast is best, but in my case, my milk might be more toxic than formula-IDK. Lots of research would be needed. I felt guilty about the last two times that it didn't work out, but I have no guilt about it anymore. I hope it works out, but it is better that I am here and healthy for the baby and feeding him/her formula than so diseased I end up in the hospital getting my colon removed just so I can breastfeed. And I absolutely will not compromise my infant's immune system.

Another thing I would do would be to take the baby immediately to the chiro we see. And I would go to her during pregnancy. Both of them had torticollis-Anna's resolved on its own and Kate's didn't (and her head will never be round because of it), and the chiro said my pelvis was so out of wack, there was no way I would have had a head down baby, and that it likely was the cause of their torticollis. If I could avoid that and all of the difficulties surrounding it by a few sessions with her, I think it would be worth it. (she specializes in infants and children)

I have to have a c/s anyway now, and it is probably for the best since pushing could cause a lot of damage for me, but I would be more proactive about the birth since I have had 2 really bad recoveries. I would talk with the OB in depth about the past experiences and do what we could to avoid those same pitfalls. And make sure I was clear on how he would manage the birth with my condition, since moving my bowels around too much could be seriously detrimental to me.

Not much else that I can think of! I think if we can all survive the pregnancy, birth and recovery ok, we'll be good!!! (assuming, again, that I can get Bill to give the green light...stubborn man)

Juanita · Guru

Corey wrote:

well, since i am living this question right now i'll answer:)

more than anything i have been trying to enjoy him. with connor i just wished his babyhood away. i couldn't wait to feed him big kid food, bring him to the park, bring him to playgroup, to school, etc etc etc.

with grace i was sooo busy with connor since there is only 21 months difference and he was such a busy 2 year old that i couldn't just hold her while she napped, etc. i feel like i wished away her babyhood alot too because i was just so anxious for them to be able to play together.

now i have done all the "firsts" with the bigger kids and i am actually taking the time to enjoy the infant stage this time. i can totally see why the youngest gets spoiled. he will probably be our last and i am so much more willing to hold him for hours and goo and gaa at him whereas with the others i felt like i always knew there would be another baby at some point so i didn't take the time.

I totally understand this!! I think knowing Kenley was our last, I savor every moment with her.. For instance, by this age I was putting SG in her crib every night awake, she'd go to sleep on her own. I still rock Kenley every night!!

Boots and Bananas · Guru

supergrover wrote:

For me, I have 2 biggies. I want to go into labo on my own. Both mine have been induced. 1 for high blood pressure, the other for size of baby. I'm hoping taking care of myself will lead to a less hefty baby, lol.

The second is breastfeeding. I've epic failed twice, and that is a really hard and sensitive subject for me. My goal next time is to hire and meet with a lactation consultant before birth to have a relationship established for after birth. I'm so shy and self consious I never felt comfortable just calling the breastfeeding hotline, etc.

Oh, and pushing for a torticollis screening early (tightening of the neck muscles). I had no idea what to look for and Tristen has a slightly mishapen head to this day despite physical therapy, etc.

Geesh, I guess I actually have 4 things. Saving solids for at least 6 months. With Tristen's food allergy, there is no messing with this one for us.

Going into labor on my own is a big one for me too. As long as there are no issues I don't even mind being late just so I can avoid pitocin and get the experience of being in labor when I get to the hospital LOL.

daisy · Guru

i'd make absolute certain that my baby didnt have colic ;)

Sonya · Guru

daisy wrote:

i'd make absolute certain that my baby didnt have colic ;)

lmao

you'd never have to work again if you could figure out how to do that

(i love you and miss you, Kelly!)

allvowels · Veteran Member

daisy wrote:

i'd make absolute certain that my baby didnt have colic ;)

Right?!?!

(I know your third wouldn't, but I won't keep bugging you to have one!! : ))

allvowels · Veteran Member

I just remembered one more thing I would do differently---

I wouldn't find out the sex at the ultrasound.

We now have baby girl and baby boy stuff (meaning we'd be set either way), so it would be really fun to have that surprise at the birth.

(Corey, since you did this recently----was it so fun waiting?!)

Sara · Guru

So interesting to read all of these and see these things. It is crazy since I am doing this again in just 5 short weeks and I have not thought of much.

And I am a bit opposite than some with the cuddle and hold all the time. We laid Keegan down a lot to sleep when he was little and he has been our best sleeper by far so for me I know I am going to try to do that again. Which honestly with 3 others at home I know that will not be a big issue.

I love to wear my babes so finally having the right carriers has made that nice. I got a Beco Butterfly II with Keegan, like Becky I have loved, loved, loved that thing. I cannot wait to use it again. And if I was not so huge now I would still be hauling Keegan around in it. I also got a Sleepy Wrap (pretty much same as Moby Wrap) to use this time and am excited about that. I have a Hotsling as well but that always hurts my shoulder after a while.

I have been happy with my last two breastfeeding experiences after failing miserably with Bryce so plan to continue that as well.

I cloth diapered with Keegan and am so glad I started that. He was about 6 weeks when I started cloth diapering him and I plan to cloth diaper this babe once we are home from the hospital and his circumcision is healed up.

Hmm, that might be it, I really do need to start getting stuff ready for his arrival. O well, glad they do not need much in the beginning. :)

Corey · Guru

allvowels wrote:

I just remembered one more thing I would do differently---

I wouldn't find out the sex at the ultrasound.

We now have baby girl and baby boy stuff (meaning we'd be set either way), so it would be really fun to have that surprise at the birth.

(Corey, since you did this recently----was it so fun waiting?!)

yes! which is funny b/c this is so not me. i always said with connor and grace "i am just as surprised to hear it's a girl! or it's a boy! at the ultrasound as i would be at the delivery.

so not true. not only was it so much more exciting, the anticipation definitely makes the delivery more bearable. well, atleast it did for me since i really really wanted an epi and the nurse dragged her ass ordering it so jamison ended up deciding to come out as the anesthesiologist was starting it. i was really upset b/c i was not anticipating not being numb so finding out the gender was atleast one exciting thing to look forward to during the pain!

3s_a_crowd · Guru

Corey wrote:

allvowels wrote:

I just remembered one more thing I would do differently---

I wouldn't find out the sex at the ultrasound.

We now have baby girl and baby boy stuff (meaning we'd be set either way), so it would be really fun to have that surprise at the birth.

(Corey, since you did this recently----was it so fun waiting?!)

yes! which is funny b/c this is so not me. i always said with connor and grace "i am just as surprised to hear it's a girl! or it's a boy! at the ultrasound as i would be at the delivery.

so not true. not only was it so much more exciting, the anticipation definitely makes the delivery more bearable. well, atleast it did for me since i really really wanted an epi and the nurse dragged her ass ordering it so jamison ended up deciding to come out as the anesthesiologist was starting it. i was really upset b/c i was not anticipating not being numb so finding out the gender was atleast one exciting thing to look forward to during the pain!

I kinda wish I would have waited now, however I think if I had, I dont think Id be excited as I am now about the baby. I think it definitely made it real for me with the circumstances of this one. Oh well.

daisy · Guru

allvowels wrote:

daisy wrote:

i'd make absolute certain that my baby didnt have colic ;)

Right?!?!

(I know your third wouldn't, but I won't keep bugging you to have one!! : ))

lmao. factory is CLOSED. no way in hell.