So, it's about time we get the boys going on some set weekly chores and an allowance. It's been toy fest for the last few months starting with an early birthday part, a real birthday celebration, a gift for his surgery, a gift for after his surgery, my family coming in and doing another small "party", etc. Enough! Gavin has been bugging me for more toys and I just got so sick of it.
Anyway, we had a talk. We are not buying them toys unless it is for a special occasion (birthday, christmas, etc.). We really don't anyway but Gavin kept asking and so this is what we told him. If he wants toys (which obviously he does) he will have to buy them with his own money. Which made us set up a chore/allowance type of thing and I am wondering what everyone else thinks and what they are doing?
So feel free to share...I will do a separate post about what we think we are going to do. Still thinking about things...
one thing i'm thinking of doing is a chore chart where they get stickers when they do the regularly asked chores. one big issue here is picking up toys before bed, so that would go on there. maybe cleaning up their plates after dinner or something. we'd come up with some things.
if they get all their stickers for the week, they can get their allowance on saturday. i'm thinking maybe $1? i'm not sure. i don't want it to be a quarter or anything b/c they can't realistically save up for something they want that way. but jake loves to get the cars movie cars at target and they are $3.50 each here. so after a month of doing chores, he'd have enough money to buy one.
So, for Gavin I think we are going to do a $5 weekly allowance. That is the most he will get and it is dependent on if he does his chores or not. I broke it up into $1 a day - Monday through Friday. There will still be chores on Saturday but it is a less structured day and a day that we all clean and so I didn't include it.
Since it is $1 a day I thought we could do 4 set chores - 25 cents per chore. I am still thinking about it but so far he will have to make his bed, feed the dog, pick up his bedroom before bed and pick up the living room. I am kind of undecided on the living room and wavering between that and eating what we have for dinner. I know that might sound silly but that is something he struggles with. What do you think?
So, I am making a chore chart where it will show those four and already have the quarter in a slot for each day. So - he will have the visual of $5 in quarters each week and when he does the chore he takes the quarter out and puts it in the envelope of the chore chart.
At the end of the week we count the money - 10% goes to tithing and 10% goes to savings...the rest he can put towards his toy fund. We even got a little bank that has three slots for these things which is fun.
We are doing the same for Owen but I think I am going to do 50 cents a day instead of a dollar and he will have two set chores - making his bed and picking up his room. He wants to feed the dog so I'm debating about having Gavin do that in the morning and him doing it at night but I haven't decided.
Anyway, I am excited and hoping it creates more of a routine here.
one thing i'm thinking of doing is a chore chart where they get stickers when they do the regularly asked chores. one big issue here is picking up toys before bed, so that would go on there. maybe cleaning up their plates after dinner or something. we'd come up with some things.
if they get all their stickers for the week, they can get their allowance on saturday. i'm thinking maybe $1? i'm not sure. i don't want it to be a quarter or anything b/c they can't realistically save up for something they want that way. but jake loves to get the cars movie cars at target and they are $3.50 each here. so after a month of doing chores, he'd have enough money to buy one.
i look forward to reading everyone else's ideas.
The money thing got me too. If I am going to stick with us not buying them things it had to be enough that they could actually BUY things with their own money. So, I read online that they suggest a dollar per week for each year they are. I decided 5 for Gavin 2.50 for Owen just because it was easier to break up the way I wanted to.
In some ways I thought $5 a week was a bit much but when I factored in us not spending money on them for random little things (which is the goal) and them saving for what they want and knowing they won't always do their chores...well the $5 and $2.50 per week seemed okay. We'll see. Gavin will put some towards tithing and savings too so it is $16 a month. When I thought about it I'm sure I spend that much and random things for them anyway so I have to be firm in not spending money on them also. (I am not a super stickler, but I really want them to start working and earning their own money.)
one thing i'm thinking of doing is a chore chart where they get stickers when they do the regularly asked chores. one big issue here is picking up toys before bed, so that would go on there. maybe cleaning up their plates after dinner or something. we'd come up with some things.
if they get all their stickers for the week, they can get their allowance on saturday. i'm thinking maybe $1? i'm not sure. i don't want it to be a quarter or anything b/c they can't realistically save up for something they want that way. but jake loves to get the cars movie cars at target and they are $3.50 each here. so after a month of doing chores, he'd have enough money to buy one.
i look forward to reading everyone else's ideas.
The money thing got me too. If I am going to stick with us not buying them things it had to be enough that they could actually BUY things with their own money. So, I read online that they suggest a dollar per week for each year they are. I decided 5 for Gavin 2.50 for Owen just because it was easier to break up the way I wanted to.
In some ways I thought $5 a week was a bit much but when I factored in us not spending money on them for random little things (which is the goal) and them saving for what they want and knowing they won't always do their chores...well the $5 and $2.50 per week seemed okay. We'll see. Gavin will put some towards tithing and savings too so it is $16 a month. When I thought about it I'm sure I spend that much and random things for them anyway so I have to be firm in not spending money on them also. (I am not a super stickler, but I really want them to start working and earning their own money.)
interesting about the amounts.
i really don't see myself going with $5 for emily and $3 for jake. first of all, they are SO competitive and we make them do the same chores for the most part so it would have to be equal.
maybe we'll do $2 or $3. i really need to talk to matt about this.
We just had this conversation a few weeks ago. We'd been doing the behavior jar that Supa had posted about a while back, and we had success for a while at first... then I think Hannah got discouraged because what Hannah could get with her full jar wasn't consistent. (Sometimes she'd buy and LPS, other times we'd let her get a Barbie set.) That was our fault, but backtracking did not help.
Anyways, Hannah doesn't get a set weekly allowance, but now her behavior jar gets filled with money. She gets set amounts for certain chores (.25-.50 a chore, likewise for behavior that we need to encourage, like eating all of her dinner, etc.). Like the paper clips we were doing in the jar originally, she will lose money for undesirable behavior. She decides what she wants, and she has to save up for what she'd like. We aren't buying "just because" toys anymore. (Not that Joe ever was. I should just say "I am not" lol.) She has a set goal, knows exactly how much she has to earn to get there, and it's keeping her accountable and motivated. It's working insanely well.
I don't know why I said all that, lol. That wasn't really what you were asking. I guess the cliffnotes version is that if we weren't needing to encourage better behavior, and this wasn't working as well as it is, we would be doing a set allowance, probably of $5/week.
Thanks for the input girls! We also talked about what he was saving his money for (a particular transformer) and printed it out so that he has the visual next to his chore chart. I think it will work well. We aren't officially starting until Monday. I need to get the chart done and go to the bank to get quarters.
I am wondering how it is going to work as far as if/when he decides to use his money for other things - a treat or something like that - and we have to explain that he has less forth the toy, kwim? But that is all part of it.
And Leah - the "just because" stuff is exactly what I'm trying to weed out. The thing is, my mom is the worst about this so I am hoping to get her on board. Instead of just buying toys I am going to ask her to have Gavin do jobs for her to earn money for a toy...picking up, washing windows, dusting, etc. Hopefully that will work. :)
Travis and I have talked a lot about this and we have opted not to do allowances. We just felt that contributing to the household (picking up toys, etc) was everyones responsibility and part of being in the family. That is not to say I disagree with allowances at all, just how we have chosen to do it.
We are (once I get a few minutes, lol) going to make a ladder that is tied to privileges. Doing all your chores puts you at the top of the ladder so you get so much tv or leapster time. Being rude or whater (still need to refine) brings you lower on the ladder, lowest being losing all privileges.
We have also started having the boys save some of their money that family gives them for holidays for something they want down the road. Right now they are saving for a toy for "if we ever go to Mickey's house" (they don't know we are going in Oct.).
I hear you on the asking for toys for no reason thing.We've had to have a lot of conversations with Koda to get over the gimme stage that comes with birthday season.
Travis and I have talked a lot about this and we have opted not to do allowances. We just felt that contributing to the household (picking up toys, etc) was everyones responsibility and part of being in the family. That is not to say I disagree with allowances at all, just how we have chosen to do it.
We are (once I get a few minutes, lol) going to make a ladder that is tied to privileges. Doing all your chores puts you at the top of the ladder so you get so much tv or leapster time. Being rude or whater (still need to refine) brings you lower on the ladder, lowest being losing all privileges.
We have also started having the boys save some of their money that family gives them for holidays for something they want down the road. Right now they are saving for a toy for "if we ever go to Mickey's house" (they don't know we are going in Oct.).
I hear you on the asking for toys for no reason thing.We've had to have a lot of conversations with Koda to get over the gimme stage that comes with birthday season.
this is us too.
i don't think it is bad at all if people tie allowance to chores, it just isn't something i want to start. i have seen a few instances with friends/family members kids where it becomes "i'll do that if you pay me" and i can totally see that being something connor would pull.
i am sure my kids will end up receiving an allowance at some point in the next couple years, but i haven't figured out how it will be structured yet.
if it ends up being a chore thing i would most likely have a base set of expectations they have to do just because we are a family/team like picking up any mess they make with toys/making their beds, etc. and would probably only pay for something above and beyond what is expected of them.
Now I'm torn about what to do! Obviously, there are many things that are expected without getting paid but I don't want to just give an allowance. Hmmm, not sure what to do.
one thing i'm thinking of doing is a chore chart where they get stickers when they do the regularly asked chores. one big issue here is picking up toys before bed, so that would go on there. maybe cleaning up their plates after dinner or something. we'd come up with some things.
if they get all their stickers for the week, they can get their allowance on saturday. i'm thinking maybe $1? i'm not sure. i don't want it to be a quarter or anything b/c they can't realistically save up for something they want that way. but jake loves to get the cars movie cars at target and they are $3.50 each here. so after a month of doing chores, he'd have enough money to buy one.
i look forward to reading everyone else's ideas.
The money thing got me too. If I am going to stick with us not buying them things it had to be enough that they could actually BUY things with their own money. So, I read online that they suggest a dollar per week for each year they are. I decided 5 for Gavin 2.50 for Owen just because it was easier to break up the way I wanted to.
In some ways I thought $5 a week was a bit much but when I factored in us not spending money on them for random little things (which is the goal) and them saving for what they want and knowing they won't always do their chores...well the $5 and $2.50 per week seemed okay. We'll see. Gavin will put some towards tithing and savings too so it is $16 a month. When I thought about it I'm sure I spend that much and random things for them anyway so I have to be firm in not spending money on them also. (I am not a super stickler, but I really want them to start working and earning their own money.)
interesting about the amounts.
i really don't see myself going with $5 for emily and $3 for jake. first of all, they are SO competitive and we make them do the same chores for the most part so it would have to be equal.
maybe we'll do $2 or $3. i really need to talk to matt about this.
I was just skimming through rq so I didn't see all the discussion but I just started giving my kids an allowance. $5 every other week for Henry (on Glen's paydays) and we were thinking $2.50 for Mark every other week but he doesn't understand money or care. So we changed it to two quarters.
Travis and I talked more about this tonight and we are moving in a direction where allowances or money would NOT be tied to chores or regular family expectations- but if they do things above and beyond the top behavior/chore level on our chart, they could choose extra privileges (20 minutes TV, etc) or change for their bank.
Totally stole this from a tv show (anyone remember the Dilly sextuplets?)
We won't do this for a while though. Too complex for now.
My kids have had chores since they could walk. Starting then, they have been expected to pick up at the end of each day. If they don't pitch in enough, they don't play with anything the next day. They don't get paid for this chore.
Paid chores/allowance starts when they turn 3. They have set chores at each age and change chores on their birthdays (they have each chore set for a whole year). From age 3-7 they get paid 50 cents a week. From age 8-14 they get paid $1 a week. After that, they will get paid $2 a week. However, for each chore that isn't done, 10 cents is docked. It doesn't take slacking on too many chores before the allowance is gone, especially starting at age 8 when they start having an entire room their responsibility. I've had a couple times that Rebecca or Crystal have said that since they've already missed out on their allowance that they just won't finish up the week and will start over the next week. That earns a you're-not-going-anywhere-or-doing-anything-until-they're-done response from me. Boredom seems to be a nice motivator.
I'm thinking I need to sit down with my kids and remind them of these rules since it's been months since Rebecca has earned any allowance and I'm not sure how much I have actually told Brenna and Brittany. Crystal's not so great about doing her chores, either. Surprisingly, Kyle is EXCELLENT at doing his chores. He's not always thorough, but he does well for his age, which is all I ask.
We have started marble jars. I made a list of chores and activities and their marble value. The kids pick what they want to do and earn marbles accordingly. Once the jar is full, the kids created a list of rewards: $10, going to a movie, a date with Mom or Dad, going mini golfing.... It takes about a month to get it full. Could be faster if they worked more!!
It actually works pretty well. Even Carter can earn marbles. Braydon has outgrown his bike. I found a nice one on CL, but he can't have it until his jar is full. SO hard not to just give it to him, but we're working on earning things.
I honestly think the biggest consideration in giving allowances and making them dependent on chores is if you as a parent want to carry through with it. In the past with my ds, I tried this approach. It would work for a short time but he was the master tester and loophole finder. The arguing and nagging and the reluctance to do anything without a pay off was not something I had the time and energy to deal with.
It was much easier for me to make them two separate issues. He had his money in his bank that I would let him go shop with sometimes. Sometimes I would give him money and tell him that is what he had to spend. When he was older, I gave him a set amount of money each week. With it he had to either buy lunch or pack one from home (he was not allowed to go without lunch). As far as chores go, I needed the immediate threat of no tv or video games or it would never happen.
