So, Mason just told me that a little girl in his class came in while he was trying to use the bathroom and touched his penis. He said that he told her to stop, but she kept doing it. I am in shock, and I am pissed that this happened to him.
What do I even do? His school has 4 more days left. Should I go in and just talk to the teacher and tell her to make sure this girl stays out of the bathroom when boys are in there? The bathroom is in a seperate room, and there are 3 stalls in there. But, Mason told me that you can't lock the stalls.
Do I go higher up than the teacher and talk to someone at the school? I don't even know who that would be. I am just livid that they let them go in there boys and girls together and don't watch them at all.
I would be livid too! I know kids can be innocent but the fact it could have been prevented by another adult being there to make sure boys go in boys stall and girls go in girls stalls only, no mixing.
Keep me posted what you end up doing.
I wouldn't know where to start either but perhaps teacher and then the school at least they need to be aware of what they need to fix for next year.
I would talk to the teachers and probably director as well.
I am sure it was an innocent mistake but am shocked they send different sexed children in the stalls together at this age as this is the age that the curiousity is really peaking as far as noticing gender differences, etc.
I would talk to the teachers and probably director as well.
I am sure it was an innocent mistake but am shocked they send different sexed children in the stalls together at this age as this is the age that the curiousity is really peaking as far as noticing gender differences, etc.
they aren't supposed to be in the stalls together. but, they are allowed in the same room which holds the same stalls. so, there could be a girl in one stall and a boy in the stall next to them. but, the teachers don't watch them in there at all, and i think they can freely go back and forth to the bathroom.
I would be upset too. I don't know the "rules" over there so I don't know how the system works. I would definitely bring it up to the teacher and talk to her about the proper ways to handle it. They should take you seriously but I also want to point out that as much as teachers try, there is just no way to keep an eye on every child all the time.
Just to give you perspective - no, the girls and boys shouldn't be in there together, but even if it were two boys that could have happened. Again, I am not saying it is right but kids are curious and it's hard to know what was going on, kwim? All I'm saying is that I have had to teach Owen not to touch Gavin there - he never did it sexually but he would be like "there's your peanut" and touch it. Had that happened at school I would have been mortified if my son did it and pissed if it happened to my son. All that to say that it does happen and as much as teachers try their best they just can't always prevent things from happening. It's wonderful that Mason told you about it and no matter if it was the last day or four more days or how many days you should definitely bring it up to the teacher.
In our classrooms the bathrooms are in there with half doors so we can see who is in there but none of the kids can see in and unless you're very obviously over there looking, you can't really see the kids going to the bathroom. But, the children are in charge of going in there on their own and it is possible that a boy and a girl could end up in there together - but typically that never happens. But, like I said, unless there is one teacher for every child, there are going to be times that they are "unsupervised," kwim?
I am sorry you are having to deal with this but that is great that Mason would tell you. You should be really proud of him.
I agree that I would talk to the teacher as well as the director. They need to know this has happened and it might prompt them to make some changes in procedure (in the very least the students need to be accompanied by an adult).
Jake has just moved into a classroom where boys and girls go to separate bathrooms but up until 2 weeks ago it was just like your situation; however, the teacher was in the bathroom with all of the kids.
Honestly I would probably want a meeting with the teacher and parents present.
I agree boys and girls should be sent to the stalls at a different time. and The parents obviously need to teach the girl about appropriate touch.
Hugs to you.
I have to disagree - I don't think it's appropriate for another parent to be in on a meeting with someone else. In a sense, it's a confidential matter - in fact the teacher shouldn't even be telling the girl's parents which child reported this. I do think the teacher or whoever from the school needs to talk to the girl's parents but I don't think it's appropriate for Crystal to be in on a meeting with these other parents.
Honestly I would probably want a meeting with the teacher and parents present.
I agree boys and girls should be sent to the stalls at a different time. and The parents obviously need to teach the girl about appropriate touch.
Hugs to you.
I have to disagree - I don't think it's appropriate for another parent to be in on a meeting with someone else. In a sense, it's a confidential matter - in fact the teacher shouldn't even be telling the girl's parents which child reported this. I do think the teacher or whoever from the school needs to talk to the girl's parents but I don't think it's appropriate for Crystal to be in on a meeting with these other parents.
I agree.
I also think I'd be careful about making it a big deal. In our daycare, the kids share a bathroom with no stalls.
I'd be more concerned if this was elementary school but in a preschool, I think this is probably less concerning (though I still would talk to the teacher who will likely create an incident report for the other parents to see/sign).
Honestly I would probably want a meeting with the teacher and parents present.
I agree boys and girls should be sent to the stalls at a different time. and The parents obviously need to teach the girl about appropriate touch.
Hugs to you.
I have to disagree - I don't think it's appropriate for another parent to be in on a meeting with someone else. In a sense, it's a confidential matter - in fact the teacher shouldn't even be telling the girl's parents which child reported this. I do think the teacher or whoever from the school needs to talk to the girl's parents but I don't think it's appropriate for Crystal to be in on a meeting with these other parents.
I agree - there is the issue of confidentiality and I know at my daycare they do not disclose names of children to other parents (i.e., Jake was getting bitten every single day when he was 18 months old - they "couldn't" tell me who was doing the biting) - this lack of being able to share offender info becomes less of an issue as the children get older and can say "Hey Mom, Billy bit me today."
I agree a meeting should take place with the girls family but to mesh the two families into one meeting I do not feel is appropriate.
Honestly I would probably want a meeting with the teacher and parents present.
I agree boys and girls should be sent to the stalls at a different time. and The parents obviously need to teach the girl about appropriate touch.
Hugs to you.
I have to disagree - I don't think it's appropriate for another parent to be in on a meeting with someone else. In a sense, it's a confidential matter - in fact the teacher shouldn't even be telling the girl's parents which child reported this. I do think the teacher or whoever from the school needs to talk to the girl's parents but I don't think it's appropriate for Crystal to be in on a meeting with these other parents.
I agree.
I also think I'd be careful about making it a big deal. In our daycare, the kids share a bathroom with no stalls.
I'd be more concerned if this was elementary school but in a preschool, I think this is probably less concerning (though I still would talk to the teacher who will likely create an incident report for the other parents to see/sign).
I agree. I guess my main concern was no one mentioned anything about having the other family be told. I think thats a huge thing that needs to be done. IMO
At my Mason's preschool, the bathrooms don't even have stalls, so boys and girls are in and out of there all day long. It freaked me out at first, but it's a daycare, so I guess they have them like that for kids who are potty training. I don't like it.
I agree. I guess my main concern was no one mentioned anything about having the other family be told. I think thats a huge thing that needs to be done. IMO
whether in a joint meeting or seperately I guess.
I don't disagree - it's something the family needs to know about so they can talk to her about it and it could be a red flag that something like that is happening to her.
Crystal, been off of here a few days and just seeing this.
I think I'm more extreme then everyone else here as to how I'd handle this situation.
Wondering how you are handling it. If it were me, I'd contact the teacher at once and then after a talk, depending on how that goes, maybe the police. It could be totally innocent. It could be that she is being abused and that she's acting out what has happened to her. Like Juni said, it could be a red flag. I'd rather live with a family being investigated then live with something bad may be happening to a child.
But, then I have a history of stuff, so I may be over-reacting. Kid do touchy feelly stuff all the time, but maybe you can get the school to change it's bathroom policy at the very least.
Crystal, been off of here a few days and just seeing this.
I think I'm more extreme then everyone else here as to how I'd handle this situation.
Wondering how you are handling it. If it were me, I'd contact the teacher at once and then after a talk, depending on how that goes, maybe the police. It could be totally innocent. It could be that she is being abused and that she's acting out what has happened to her. Like Juni said, it could be a red flag. I'd rather live with a family being investigated then live with something bad may be happening to a child.
But, then I have a history of stuff, so I may be over-reacting. Kid do touchy feelly stuff all the time, but maybe you can get the school to change it's bathroom policy at the very least.
Please let us know how things went.
i think because of my history, i felt the same. but, i am hoping that this is not the case. i think that it was *likely* that she was just curious and wanted to see what it was. mason didn't seem to be too tramatized by it, which is why i think that is the case. i just don't know.
i'm talking to the teacher today, and i'll see what she says. at this point, i just want to make sure that mason is safe and the little girl leaves him alone.
