so... clara is nearing the end of the first year of a 2 year kindergarten program. 12 kids, 6 are in the 4-5 year range, 6 in the 5-6 year range. in sept the oldest will go to 1st grade, the youngers become the olders, and 6 new 4yo's arrive. same teacher.
so, with her july birthday clara has been the youngest in the class with a 2 year age spread. (this is already considered)
well, she has made a lot of progress... but is still very young. problem is, she likes to be independent, and she often does not do what the teacher asks. examples:
they were to draw a pic of papa for fathers day. she drew papa... then added the rest of the family, a house, a sun, birds, hearts... etc etc. hanging with all the others on the wall it was clear hers was a lot more "composed" then the others. (a great effort with advanced drawing techniques, i must say, but not what was asked... *sigh*)
she does not always obey classroom rules - she will do stuff like walk out of the classroom to go to the bathroom (right next door) without asking the teacher.
on a camp pic from a week ago, teacher showed me she was the only child who refused to close her coat (because you could not see her pink shirt that way...)
ok, these are not terrible on the scheme of things... lack of maturity or concentration?
spoke with teacher a few times about how she is progressing - constant feedback is about her girlie "princess" behaviour - meaning she sees things as a fairytale and often has her head in the clouds instead of concentrating like she should.
last thurs she wanted to make a pink cake with sprinkles -we made one and she wanted to share it with her class.
well... feedback after from the teacher (whom i really really like in general) is that maybe we (=i) should try to tone back the pink princess stuff.
she wears pink every single day. sparkly shoes, weather permitting. almost always a shirt or dress (that was a challenge packing only pants for her school camp)
i love her princessy free spirit... but now i feel sad every morning while she is choosing her pink things to wear. i know they outgrow it - but to try to convincer her not to wear what she wants to wear or tone down the princess stuff? that makes me sad!
so... clara is nearing the end of the first year of a 2 year kindergarten program. 12 kids, 6 are in the 4-5 year range, 6 in the 5-6 year range. in sept the oldest will go to 1st grade, the youngers become the olders, and 6 new 4yo's arrive. same teacher.
so, with her july birthday clara has been the youngest in the class with a 2 year age spread. (this is already considered)
well, she has made a lot of progress... but is still very young. problem is, she likes to be independent, and she often does not do what the teacher asks. examples:
they were to draw a pic of papa for fathers day. she drew papa... then added the rest of the family, a house, a sun, birds, hearts... etc etc. hanging with all the others on the wall it was clear hers was a lot more "composed" then the others. (a great effort with advanced drawing techniques, i must say, but not what was asked... *sigh*)
she does not always obey classroom rules - she will do stuff like walk out of the classroom to go to the bathroom (right next door) without asking the teacher.
on a camp pic from a week ago, teacher showed me she was the only child who refused to close her coat (because you could not see her pink shirt that way...)
ok, these are not terrible on the scheme of things... lack of maturity or concentration?
spoke with teacher a few times about how she is progressing - constant feedback is about her girlie "princess" behaviour - meaning she sees things as a fairytale and often has her head in the clouds instead of concentrating like she should.
last thurs she wanted to make a pink cake with sprinkles -we made one and she wanted to share it with her class.
well... feedback after from the teacher (whom i really really like in general) is that maybe we (=i) should try to tone back the pink princess stuff.
she wears pink every single day. sparkly shoes, weather permitting. almost always a shirt or dress (that was a challenge packing only pants for her school camp)
i love her princessy free spirit... but now i feel sad every morning while she is choosing her pink things to wear. i know they outgrow it - but to try to convincer her not to wear what she wants to wear or tone down the princess stuff? that makes me sad!
wwyd??? (sorry 4 typos - nak! )
i understand this to a degree. caroline is HUGELY into animals. she wears animal clothes, talkes about animals, plays with animals and reads about animals. ONLY animals.
for her, though, it's a little different because that is her comfort topic. when she's nervous, when she doesn't know what to say, when she feels overwhelmed, she goes into her animal world.
having said that, i don't know that i would have a problem with clara wearing pink, liking princess stuff, etc...
1. she is not even 5 years old. she IS a little girl still. 2. what color she wears will not change her interest in following directions. 3. i hate the idea of telling my kids they don't or shouldn't like what they like.
i wonder if you could talk with her about the princesses themselves - i'm thinking ... cinderella works really hard doing the things she HAS to do so she can go to the ball. mulan goes to fight with the soldiers so she can help her dad, etc..... show her that part of being a princess is doing the things you are supposed to do not just what you want to do.
Ugh, I don't know. I know the examples you used she didn't follow directions (per say) but at the same time I'm of the opinion that certain things are inconsequential and shouldn't be given that much attention. I don't see why it's a big deal that she didn't want to close her coat. She might be a little bit cold but that is a natural consequence. She will either have to deal with being cold or decide to close her coat. No harm either way IMO.
I wonder if the teacher is engaging in these power struggles a little too much, kwim? I can see how not drawing just daddy is not following the rules but at the same time I am of the opinion that she should be allowed to draw what she wants because it is *her* gift and *her* vision not the teachers. It might not be what the teacher wanted but again, I think that is a power struggle she is engaging in when maybe she shouldn't. I don't know that I would call it lack of maturity or concentration - it's her personality.
Is she disrespectful? Defiant - in the sense that she doesn't do what the teacher says even if she wants to - or she just likes to push it when she has a strong opinion of something she wants to do or doesn't want to do?
Ultimately, you are her mom. It might be annoying for the teacher at times but maybe she needs to let go on certain things that don't really matter. I would work with Clara on a few things but it makes me sad that you feel like you have to change her and that you're sad about that. You're her mom. If you love her princessy free spirit then don't feel like you have to change her. I think if you get into it with her on clothes it will just make the problem worse.
so... clara is nearing the end of the first year of a 2 year kindergarten program. 12 kids, 6 are in the 4-5 year range, 6 in the 5-6 year range. in sept the oldest will go to 1st grade, the youngers become the olders, and 6 new 4yo's arrive. same teacher.
so, with her july birthday clara has been the youngest in the class with a 2 year age spread. (this is already considered)
well, she has made a lot of progress... but is still very young. problem is, she likes to be independent, and she often does not do what the teacher asks. examples:
they were to draw a pic of papa for fathers day. she drew papa... then added the rest of the family, a house, a sun, birds, hearts... etc etc. hanging with all the others on the wall it was clear hers was a lot more "composed" then the others. (a great effort with advanced drawing techniques, i must say, but not what was asked... *sigh*)
she does not always obey classroom rules - she will do stuff like walk out of the classroom to go to the bathroom (right next door) without asking the teacher.
on a camp pic from a week ago, teacher showed me she was the only child who refused to close her coat (because you could not see her pink shirt that way...)
ok, these are not terrible on the scheme of things... lack of maturity or concentration?
spoke with teacher a few times about how she is progressing - constant feedback is about her girlie "princess" behaviour - meaning she sees things as a fairytale and often has her head in the clouds instead of concentrating like she should.
last thurs she wanted to make a pink cake with sprinkles -we made one and she wanted to share it with her class.
well... feedback after from the teacher (whom i really really like in general) is that maybe we (=i) should try to tone back the pink princess stuff.
she wears pink every single day. sparkly shoes, weather permitting. almost always a shirt or dress (that was a challenge packing only pants for her school camp)
i love her princessy free spirit... but now i feel sad every morning while she is choosing her pink things to wear. i know they outgrow it - but to try to convincer her not to wear what she wants to wear or tone down the princess stuff? that makes me sad!
wwyd??? (sorry 4 typos - nak! )
i understand this to a degree. caroline is HUGELY into animals. she wears animal clothes, talkes about animals, plays with animals and reads about animals. ONLY animals.
for her, though, it's a little different because that is her comfort topic. when she's nervous, when she doesn't know what to say, when she feels overwhelmed, she goes into her animal world.
having said that, i don't know that i would have a problem with clara wearing pink, liking princess stuff, etc...
1. she is not even 5 years old. she IS a little girl still. 2. what color she wears will not change her interest in following directions. 3. i hate the idea of telling my kids they don't or shouldn't like what they like.
i wonder if you could talk with her about the princesses themselves - i'm thinking ... cinderella works really hard doing the things she HAS to do so she can go to the ball. mulan goes to fight with the soldiers so she can help her dad, etc..... show her that part of being a princess is doing the things you are supposed to do not just what you want to do.
um, i see no issue with that. like you put she is a little kid and young at that in the classroom she is in. so why it might seem immature or a nuissance to the teacher. at her age i guess i do not see why it should be limited.
i mean if it was the same shirt everyday and she threw fits not letting you wash it, sure. but just because she wants to wear pink and live in her princess world, honestly more power to her! this is the stage in life she can do that with no worries or fears as far as i am concerned.
she has plenty of time as she gets older to worry about the other things.
as far as her drawings and such, yes it is not asked of her, but again in the grand scheme of things when you compare that she is the youngest of her peers i think it is fine. now if at the end of next year she is still not following exactly what is asked maybe it should be discussed, but as of now i would not be really concerned with it.
the coat thing, who the flip cares!
the bathroom, i can see where that could be an issue if all kids are asking to go. if they are suppose to ask and since she has to walk out of the room maybe that would be worth discussing with her and how it is important she tells the teacher where she will be so she can keep an eye on her.
My gut as I read your post, let her be her free spirit self. Perhaps she will always be more artistic, perhaps she will always be the one that likes to be a little different...or maybe she is just 4 :) I don't agree with limiting their imaginative play. They have lots of time to button up their coats and act like little adults, and only such a narrow time to believe princesses are real and fairies are friends.
I love her... reading that just made me smile the whole way through.
I have to say that my opinion is this: She's a kid!!!
I get that she needs to follow directions, etc., but my God, you can't micromanage every tiny little thing - buttoning up a coat for a picture, not letting her draw her world with her dad the way she sees it (which, btw, I think it's beautiful that she did that, and I *hate* the idea of putting serious limitations on something artistic like that. It's not like she drew a cloud and called it done, kwim, and could have had the potentional to hurt Bert's feelings.) I cannot even imagine how miserable my kids would have been, or how miserable I would have been when I was in a childcare setting if I concentrated on tiny things like that. I know that her walking out of the room isn't great, but I almost wonder if it's because she's micromanaged so much. It goes right back to all the talks on the board about kids growing up too fast, being pushed too hard, too early. I think the things that need to be nipped and are important (like walking out of the room) will improve this year as she gets a taste of being the big kid in the room, and the other stuff I just wouldn't be worried about.
I think Sara's idea about the princesses is FANTASTIC, and something worth talking about. I think it gets the point across in a way she can understand without being too pushy with it, because that's really the only thing I worry about - she's 4! She's got her whole life to be held down, but it's certainly not something that I would be concerned about at this point.
And as far as being told what to cut back on that she likes - girl, you've got great restraint because I would be telling that lady OFF. Listen, truth of the matter is that your older kids are a great indicator of how Clara will be - you've parented in the same way, same place, same people around... and they are wonderful, successful, respectful kids. I have no doubt that Clara will be the same. That teacher needs to take a freaking pill and relax.
i think she sounds like quite an individual and i think that is great!
sure, she should ask the teacher for permission to use the bathroom, but as far as drawing the whole family and a sun and birds--isn't a sun in a child's picture supposedly a huge sign that they are happy from a psychological perspective? :) better to be happy and carefree and express herself!
as far as the pink clothes go--grace is the exact same way--granted she is 2 years younger, but i seriously do not see it ending any time soon. they'll grow out of it...in the meantime i'd be thrilled with pink and sparkly--before you know it she'll be in that "i only wear black teen angst stage," right? :)
I dont see anything wrong with that. In fact, I think many times parents or teachers or whoever dont realize it we are suppressing childrens imagination sometimes. For instance, kids jumping on the bed, while it may not be the most smartest thing to do (can hurt self or break bed, etc) they may be having an imagination that we DONT know what is going on and if we stop it. How can they get creative and all when we are in fact preventing it. Notice people sometimes have a hard time expressing themselves or their ideas or anything in class or discussions or conversations because they feel suppressed. I don't know if I'm putting it in the right words but hopefully someone knows what the heck I'm talking about. I was talking with a few girlfriends and her daycare teacher described that to her and she mentioned it to us and it totally made sense. Of course some things should be exceptions like dangerous situations or too exposing or whatever.
Is there a real reason WHY she had to have her coat up.... why cant she do more drawings, she did WHAT she was supposed to draw but of course added more... I dont see anything wrong with that really. She has tons of creativity and should put it to use. She obviously values her family and things in life.
My Ava, she is such a FAMILY girl that almost everything has to include mom dad and brother no matter what or she will have a mental breakdown if she "cant" its pretty sad but touching at the same time. She will get over it instantly but the point is she would PROBABLY do the same thing Clara would do, add all these things to the drawings when she was supposed to only draw one thing.
If you can't have your "head in the clouds" at 4-5 when can you? The only thing I would say anything about would be following classroom rules like asking to go to the bathroom.
Um, I'd tell the teacher to shove it (in my head). Before you know it she'll be into Hannah Montana and leapord skin prints and you'll miss the pink princess days. I don't really understand what the teacher's problem is. I mean I guess her problem is that Clara acts younger but does she really think cutting out the pink and fairytale thoughts is going to cure that?
And BTW I don't even know if you guys get Hannah Montana but you get my point I'm sure.
Oh and Megan, do you remember that Harry Chapin song, flowers are red. This kind of reminds me of that. :(
-- Edited by kdrew on Wednesday 19th of May 2010 04:34:42 PM
-- Edited by kdrew on Wednesday 19th of May 2010 04:36:46 PM
If you can't have your "head in the clouds" at 4-5 when can you? The only thing I would say anything about would be following classroom rules like asking to go to the bathroom.
ITA Alicia.
I definitely think kids need to follow classroom rules-that is going to be a part of their life throughout, and if Anna's teachers told me she was not following the rules, I would sit Anna down and talk with her about it. And if the teacher was that biatchy about the picture drawings and all, and there was no way of getting a different teacher, I would likely just encourage her to do as she is asked at school and let her do the things she wanted at home. But I am a total rule follower.
As far as the clothes? She should wear what she wants. I mean, I don't let my kids go out in sandals in a snowstorm, but you know what I mean. They are kids. If they want to wear pink everyday, so be it. I have seen Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie take heat for letting Shiloh dress like a boy, but I think it is great they are letting her do her thing. So I would completely ignore them on that front and let her wear what she picks out!
I think that she sounds like a perfectly normal little girl and the teacher needs to chill. Andrew's teacher last year sounds a lot like her, she had no kids, but was very well educated on how things should be done. We didn't get support from the staff, and switched schools.
It was her picture, so why couldn't she have her pink tee show? Why couldn't she draw a father's day picture the way she wanted? Why can't she choose what she likes and wants to wear?
Andrew went through a stage last year, where he would only wear Batman shirts. They had to have the Batman logo on it, not a full picture of Batman, 'cause why would Batman wear a picture of himself? Seriously. Andrew is a thinker... He out grew it and only wears them sometimes.
In PS now, there is a little boy who wears an Indiana Jones hat and bag almost every day. Not one kid makes fun of him or thinks he's strange. That's just what Cosmo wears.
The only thing that I think that should be addressed, is walking out to go to the bathroom. That is a saftey issue.
Other than that, I would enjoy you great little girl.
I agree with everyone else. FWIW, Elizabeth in some ways is not unlike Clara. When we had her preschool conference a couple of weeks ago, they commented on what a great imagination Elizabeth has. Unlike Clara, Elizabeth is not as skilled with drawing or expressing herself, which is exactly what the preschool teachers (all are extremely educated) want to see more of.
So, if Clara was going to preschool here, she not only would be able to express herself, she would be encouraged to do so. This leads me to wonder if this is just the teacher or maybe has to do with the educational structure of where you are.
Oh, and trying to get Elizabeth to wear anything but a dress and an occassional skirt is rather tough. Guess the best way to get her to wear them? Yep, it has to be princess related and generally pink.
i am not going to discourage her pinkness at all - decided!
i will work on encouaging her to follow the rules of the classroom, but as far as free expression, i will be sure she is allowed to continue!
love sara's princesses do good idea!
and kristi - just rewatched a video on youtube and cried....
you know, i DO really like this teacher in general. she does amazing things with these kids - and she did mention it in the kindest of ways - but nah, pink princess stays.
I Clara - her free spirited, comfortable in her own skin ways!
It sorta reminded me of a convo I had last year with Jake's preschool teacher - she told me he wouldn't sit through circle time, was all over the place, up and down. I was concerned - she told me if we were having this conversation this time NEXT year and he is still doing this stuff then we should be concerned. It is now "this time next year" and he has outgrown those behaviors.
I agree with whoever said that Clara is at the end of her first year - she has another year in the program - she will mature and grow so much in the next year!
I'm glad you're letting the pink stay!!
-- Edited by kris on Thursday 20th of May 2010 11:49:04 AM
Clara - her free spirited, comfortable in her own skin ways!
