Fortunately Peepers was never colicky, but she's DEFINITELY high-needs. I hate to say it, but I'm not even sad about her turning 1, because I'm glad her first year will be behind us.
I'm not expecting miracles from her as a toddler - I have a feeling she's always going to be "spirited" or "feisty" or however you want to say it, LOL, and I know that karma is a giant bitch! But I am hopeful that maybe when she starts walking and talking, it will be marginally easier. Hell, if she just starts sleeping by herself for more than an hour at a time, or actually eating food other than Cheerios, or drinking from a bottle or cup, I'll feel like a success!
I dont know if I would consider Rhys high needs, but he turns two in a month and has not slept through the night more than a handful of times. Its exhausting. He never wanted to be put down as a baby, which resulted in me carrying him everywhere, and getting anything done was impossible. But, once he could walk, I mostly forgot about that. He gets into EVERYTHING in a way Kiera never did and is much more daring. So, in all, he just needs to be watched more carefully.
Once they can play together on more equal terms, you will get a bit more of a break. well, when they are notfighting....
mason was for sure high needs. he wanted me to hold him every second of every day, and constant nursing. he also had bad reflux though so that might have been *part* of it. he didn't sleep through the night until this past year when he started pre-k.
however, other than the sleeping, he was the world's best toddler. he never had terrible twos. he went through a small terrible 3's but it was like 1 month. he still likes a lot of attention, but he is so well-behaved that i don't mind. he lives for compliments from mommy and daddy telling him what a good boy he is and he hates to disappoint us, which i think is the main reason why he is so well-behaved.
i feel like i deserved an easy toddler after the hell he put me through when he was a baby, lmao! my life with him was overwhelming until about 18 months (not that i didn't love it, but it was HARD). that was the turning point for us.
All Mark did for his first year was cry. And he never slept. NOT EVER.
After that year, he was pretty happy all the time. And he's still pretty happy all the time.
I like to think that he got all of his crying out of the way that first year.
Oh, and he sleeps now too.
Good luck.
Stephen was the same way. Hard infant but wonderful toddler. Heard so many comments about how unhappy he seemed. He had colic and a bunch of ear infections so not sure how much of it was due to health. Sleeping and eating were such a pain. He did start to eat better when he got ear tubes. Sleeping was a pain for years until I just accepted that he didn't need as much as I thought he did. Now at 15 all he does is sleep and eat.LOL
It's funny, because Dominic was the BEST baby and now he is the MOST high-maintenanced kid around! He needs constant interaction, constant attention and will not leave us alone! Shouldn't he be at an age now where he can play by himself? Sheesh.
Peepers is a generally happy baby, but requires a LOT of effort to keep her that way, LOL. Sleep is just a monster. She is no better at sleeping now than she was 2 months ago, or 6 months ago, or 10 months ago. She has slept through the night a handful of times, but lately she won't sleep for more than an hour at a time unless she is sleeping with one of us.
And getting her to sleep takes a good half hour, even for naps. Sometimes I'll spend as long getting her to fall asleep as she actually sleeps for. She'll nap in the car though! We've tried the No-Cry Sleep Solution to no avail. I absolutely don't want to do cry-it-out, but even if I did, it's not really an option. I let her cry for 5 minutes once because I was getting too angry, and she barfed all over the place.
So basically I just sleep with her now, which means I don't get very good sleep, and it feels like we're going backwards.
And it's not just the sleep that's the problem, but I've bored you all enough already. She's a sweet and funny little girl, and I love her to pieces; she's just a lot more uncooperative than I would like. ;)
Austin was a very high needs baby. He cried constantly and didn't sleep more than an hour or so at a time until he was more than 10 months old. It sucked....and he would puke all over the place. I'd feed him and then have to grab a burp rag to catch the puddle...yes PUDDLE of puke. It was insane. Anyway he was pretty easy from 1 year old to 2 years old...and then he became a little hellraiser! He is such a pill...always getting into things he isn't supposed to, tries escaping out the garage door or the doggy door, throws toys....thats just a small taste of what he is like right now. But I have faith that the next few months hold a turning point for us. : )
Good luck with Peepers. I'm sure she'll grow out of the needy phase.
Alison - I would love to know more examples. I am not going to say either of my boys were high needs because I know a lot of others had it so much worse. But there were certain things that were really hard. Gavin's was sleep. He only slept when being held. He slept in my bed with me after a few weeks because I needed sleep so bad that I gave in. He slept in my arms for naps for months and months and months. He did get better, gradually, after six months. Also, he talked fairly late (not saying those go together) but that made him somewhat of a high needs baby in that it is always easier to communicate when they can talk, ya know?
Then there was Owen - he slept better in some aspects but the same in others. He could fall asleep on his own but woke up after not sleeping for very long. He was in my bed as well. Neither of them slept through the night the first year and only a handful of times the second year. Honestly, I wake up with Owen cuddled next to me, with my arms wrapped under his neck and around his body every single morning. I don't know how to break the habit but it also doesn't bother me much.
We did CIO with Gavin but were only able to get through it because he didn't cry for super long. I couldn't have done it if it had taken hours, which I've heard for some people it has. It was about 15 minutes. We didn't with Owen. For one, they shared a room. But, more than that, if he cries too hard he throws up...still. So I feel your pain on that one.
Again, I don't necessarily think I had high needs baby but as far as those things go and how they are now...well, they are wonderful! But Owen still always wants to be with me. (I love it even though sometimes it is annoying.) Gavin could spend all day glazed over in front of the TV - we certainly don't let him. But Owen will always come and find me to sit with me. He always says, "I just want to sit with you because I just wuv you." At the same time though he is super independent in a way Gavin is not. I think that is the whole first child/second child thing. I have to push Gavin to do things like get himself dressed and be independent whereas Owen has pushed that for as long as I can remember..."I do it all by me-self!"
I wouldn't say Kate was a high needs baby. She puked a lot and that was stressful, and there was a time when I thought she would not sleep without being in the swing, but you know how I am-I stuck with my whole sleep routine and she eventually got the sleep thing down. But I am a total, unapologetic, sleep nazi. So by 4 months, we had the sleep thing pretty well worked out.
BUT the child has been drama since day one. And that only intensified when she hit 18 months. I honestly wasn't sure that the child would make it to the age of 2.
I am happy to report though, that while she is still a drama queen, and she is definitely more challenging than Anna, at 3.5, she is now mostly a sweet and helpful little girl. Since I changed up my discipline routine, both girls have done a lot better. Kate still struggles with listening, and she still whines and throws fits over silly things-and mealtimes are an absolute NIGHTMARE with that child, but it is NOTHING like it was when she was younger. Man, the toddler years with her were rough.
Anyway, I think the drama is just part of her personality, so I guess I need to find ways to channel it, lol.
I feel for you on the sleep thing-I honestly don't know how you manage dealing with that-I would seriously be in the nuthouse. One thing I can say though-she is the CUTEST thing in the whole world!!! You make some sweet babies!!!!
Evan was and is high needs. However, other than his type-A personality, he was relatively easy past 3. Dylan was the easiest baby ever and now that turned 3 is definately doing a 180 and turning into Whitney Houston (d-i-v-a!!!).
So I think times and stages have their diffuculty and while E may be completely high needs right now and will never lose her fiesty personality, she may be the best ever 2 year old. It's hard to say.
BUT, my thoughts are with you and hope that things get much, much easier.
