Amber, Jo, Kari

kris · Guru

RE: Amber, Jo, Kari

mctex · Guru

kris wrote:

One other thing I wanted to add to my thoughts on her blog - lots of people say she is "using God to her benefit" or bending religion to fit her needs (not quotes but something like that).

As a person still in the very infantile stages of following Jesus this is what I have come to realize - even when you have been a Christian for years and are willing to shout it from the rooftops you are still not perfect, you still go to bed at the end of the day and say to yourself "gee I wish I would have done this or that better or different."

For me, in my walk, I have been hoping, praying that there would be a day that it all clicked, everything fell in line and I could be like Christians with years under their belts b/c those people have it together! They can control themselves when someone cuts them off in traffic, they can control themselves when someone does them wrong at work, they can control their frustration with their extremely hormonal and disrespectful teenagers. WHEN OH LORD WILL I BE LIKE ONE OF THEM I used to ask myself. When will I not say the "f" word under my breath while jamming to Third Day in a traffic jam?! How freaking contridictory is that???

But I've learned, Mckmama is a Christian with years behind her and that does not make her exempt from going to bed at night having spoken a bit too harshly to her preschooler or being frustrated with her husband for not helping more or saying the "f" word under her breath in a frustrating situation.

ITTTTTA, and I think it's so helpful for people to be candid about these types of struggles, because it makes me personally feel more "normal" in mine -- and thus more apt to feel like it's attainable, if that makes sense.

There is some serious irony that people are using her faith to bash her... where is the Christianity in that act...

Picture-Perfect · Guru

This is a tough one. My reading of her blog slowed down after Stellan had his successful ablation. For the record I don't think that much if any of that was made up, maybe embellished or described a bit more graphically then some needed at time but I do believe it was true. I used to work as a paramedic so a lot of the medical stuff makes sense to me. Way back when Stellan was sick I stumbled on a Mckmama hater blog, I read a couple of the posts and had to leave it was downright cruel. Regardless of whether she has lied or done things for clicks the blog was full of massive hatred. Do I think she's a bit contradictory at times? Sure. The whole organic natural food tweets and info then she's tweeting pics of them at Mcdonalds is interesting LOL. But she's just a human being, a mom, and has been through a lot it would seem. I've had good intentions on things before then went right back to the happy meal if that makes any sense and i'm not just talking about food choices. She is a professional blogger so the keeping interest to get clicks things kind of makes sense. I did read on your link Kris about her charging for prayer buttons and I found that really sad and I hope it's not true because of the following that Stellan had. I don't think you should charge to drum up prayers and I kind of feel like she could pay it forward, I think it was a number probably in the millions of people that prayed for Stellan.

I think Tex made a good point. I know Jennifer signed up for this life but I can't imagine having every single word I wrote or said torn apart and searched for hidden meanings, half truths, embellishments, or whatever it is people look for. I have definitely noticed the heavy moderation on her blog, i've read comments that were not there later but more of the hateful kind like saying she looked like she had eaten too many cheeseburgers and made a picture of her and two other pregnant girls ugly with her nastiness, that stuff I don't understand. I guess i'm not sure how if she has lied or embellished it affects my life. I prayed for Stellan because I wanted to, Jesus put that on my heart and I cried and my heart ached and I prayed probably more then i've ever prayed. I credit Stellan and yes MckMama for helping me with my relationship with God and my faith. I'll probably still read her blog, I still have Stellan and their whole family in my prayers often. I find her writing creative and good most of the time, although I agree Kris I can't always get through all of her long posts! I've also found it so hurtful how people judge their finances and their marriage, two things that weigh so heavy in this world we live in that if not right or in balance can just ruin people. While I do see her talking so much about honesty and integrity etc some things are really hard to be 100% honest about and I feel like one foreclosure or two or more doesn't mean your a bad person choices were made that probably were not the best and boy would that be hard to own up to. Gosh I don't know this sounds terribly rambly but I guess i'm with Tex in that i'm going to think twice and tread carefully because I don't really know her or her family and what I have read doesn't have me convinced that I should turn away.

Picture-Perfect · Guru

kris wrote:

mctex wrote:

Having been on the other side of things, I have to beg y'all to think twice before jumping to any conclusions.

I'm not saying that Mckmama isn't a fraud... I haven't read that much of her to have formed my own opinion, although I have read enough to know that the domestic abuse charges don't surprise me... she blames herself for not "submitting" to her husband, which set off huge red flags for me that this is a woman who isn't quite right in the head on her idea of what constitutes a healthy marriage.

But what I can say is this -- it seems like it's an inevitable phenomenon when you're in the internet space that a certain faction of people will turn against you. These are the people who always have to be AGAINST something. Now that Stellan's illness is over and they can no longer be AGAINST that, they now turn AGAINST MckMama herself.

Just like once IV had died and the trolls were gone, some people had to turn against me. And yes, I do blame them 100% for this, because I have the luxury of knowing that neither my intentions nor my MO ever changed at any point during all of that, to where if people were changing, it was because of something within them, not within me.

(In fact, truth be told, it was that whole experience that allowed me to find a new level of authenticity in my faith in God, and in Christ. It was really an eye-opening experience to see how people's brokenness could cause them to totally misread and get paranoid about what were nothing other than good intentions... in a very small way, I had a taste of what life must be like for God, and in me it created a genuine empathy. And, of course, when I realized that one solution would just be to create an alter ego who looked like one of them and talked like one of them but was defending me, suddenly the idea of sending a Christ made beyond perfect sense. Someday, I'm going to write a satirical short story about this, once I can capture strong enough words to describe it.)

So it wouldn't surprise me -- particularly now that she knows she's got this community of haters -- that she is constantly editing herself, afraid that some hater might've been at the sandwich shop and yelled "liar!" when she said her husband was there with her. I mean, seriously, how does that edit change the story?

The whole thing makes me sad. If people don't believe her, fine, stop reading. But to openly trash her? It's kinda gross. (Not your discussion of it here, of course. Just whomever set up a blog with the whole point of disparaging her. If that blog takes off, I bet you dollars to donuts that eventually, ads show up on it...)

Sorry to make this about me... it's just you hit a passionate spot. :)

RE: the red - that edit was made after someone reminded her readers that she had mentioned in the past that leaves her children unattended in her vehicle while running errands. I think that had something to do with the edit - people were then questioning where were all of her children and why would they have unloaded them to run in and grab chicken from a deli and if they did not unload them why on earth would they go in together and leave them unattended in the vehicle for what, according to the story, seemed like a lengthy amount of time.
RE: the blue - ITA. They take her blog post by post and dissect it to find inconsistencies and then discuss. I just recently started reading it again after someone posted that she was charging $250-$500 per week for a prayer request button to be placed on her sidebar.

I would never partake in that blog - I will simply decide to stop reading hers but honestly, I cannot deny that I've learned things from reading her blog. Personally I don't really have time to dissect that she said "x" back in August, 2009 but is now saying "y" but apparently some people have not much else to do.

I just knew that several girls here read the blog and wondered if they had been hearing any of the rumblings and wanted to her their .02.

Re the red I completely agree. I find it interesting in the posts I read on your link that many of them are questioning her parenting how does she have time for x, y, and z but these are the same people that are "digging" up all this dirt and then posting it and discussing it, does that not take a lot of time and possibly take time away from their children? I don't have an opinion on that either way everyone does what they have to do but it seems a bit like the pot calling the kettle black.

Juanita · Guru

kris wrote:

One other thing I wanted to add to my thoughts on her blog - lots of people say she is "using God to her benefit" or bending religion to fit her needs (not quotes but something like that).

As a person still in the very infantile stages of following Jesus this is what I have come to realize - even when you have been a Christian for years and are willing to shout it from the rooftops you are still not perfect, you still go to bed at the end of the day and say to yourself "gee I wish I would have done this or that better or different."

For me, in my walk, I have been hoping, praying that there would be a day that it all clicked, everything fell in line and I could be like Christians with years under their belts b/c those people have it together! They can control themselves when someone cuts them off in traffic, they can control themselves when someone does them wrong at work, they can control their frustration with their extremely hormonal and disrespectful teenagers. WHEN OH LORD WILL I BE LIKE ONE OF THEM I used to ask myself. When will I not say the "f" word under my breath while jamming to Third Day in a traffic jam?! How freaking contridictory is that???

But I've learned, Mckmama is a Christian with years behind her and that does not make her exempt from going to bed at night having spoken a bit too harshly to her preschooler or being frustrated with her husband for not helping more or saying the "f" word under her breath in a frustrating situation.

You said it girl, as you witnessed in Chicago when my wallet was stolen, LOL.

And just to be clear, being a Christian does not mean we're perfect..far from it..it just means we're forgiven. For myself, my sins have to be forgiven on a daily basis, LOL.

God knows our hearts

-- Edited by Juanita on Monday 19th of April 2010 04:52:13 PM

Cuppycake · Guru

I've seen the hater sites, and I'm on the fence.

On one hand, if she's lying, I want to get all angry out of principle alone. (ftr, I do think the Stellan stuff is true, whether or not anything else is.) I think it's really easy for me on the outside to get angry, but I can see where the temptation would pull once you realize you can post anything you need and someone is willing to provide it. Not really what I think is meant by "ask and you shall recieve" kwim? And, everyone has a side to themselves they would prefer people don't know about... Something they'd prefer not to share, if they didn't need to. As women, there definately is that pressure to put up the curtain of a perfect life.

But, on the other hand, because I try not to let myself ever get too attached to someone I don't know (and I don't mean meet irl - I've never had a conversation online or otherwise with her, and so I don't actually *know* her other than what she chooses to share) - and I've never sent her anything, so I don't feel jipped. I think she's gotten a lot of people to pray, work on their relationships, etc, and no matter what HER intention was, if the readers are getting positive things from it, I think it's a good thing.

I read her blog - some things I think are greatly exaggerated, some things touch me deeply, others I gloss over, think are spammy and choose not to read. As long as I'm getting positive things from her blog, I'll continue to read. I will say that I used to read it daily - checking in several times a day, and now rarely remember to check more than once a week. My intentions in reading it are good, even if her's aren't!

LucsMama · Senior Member

Kris, I was wondering if that was who you were talking about. I used to follow her on Twitter and read her blog but I think I stopped about the time she posted she was pregnant again and about the time she wrote a post about the haters she had out there. At that time I didn't even know there was so much anti- stuff out there and of course when she mentioned it I went googling.... and then I found all the anti blogs and websites and it just made me sick to my stomach so I just stopped following her.

It wasn't that I didn't believe her or that I believed the hater sites I just felt like I had enough going on in my life that I didn't have time to decide which "side" I was on... I knew that if I kept reading her blog I would wonder "is this true" and might want to google to see what someone else might have said about her post and didn't want to waste my time trying to investigate someone that I don't even know, if that makes any sense at all.

Jo · Guru

LucsMama wrote:

Kris, I was wondering if that was who you were talking about. I used to follow her on Twitter and read her blog but I think I stopped about the time she posted she was pregnant again and about the time she wrote a post about the haters she had out there. At that time I didn't even know there was so much anti- stuff out there and of course when she mentioned it I went googling.... and then I found all the anti blogs and websites and it just made me sick to my stomach so I just stopped following her.

It wasn't that I didn't believe her or that I believed the hater sites I just felt like I had enough going on in my life that I didn't have time to decide which "side" I was on... I knew that if I kept reading her blog I would wonder "is this true" and might want to google to see what someone else might have said about her post and didn't want to waste my time trying to investigate someone that I don't even know, if that makes any sense at all.

pretty much what Kari said

I stopped "consistently" following her after Stellan got better but still check in on her blog from time to time. I did learn about the hater sites and read a bit but it was just all too crazy. While I can't say that I don't like her (I don't know her), she does kind of rub me the wrong way. Dom always knew there was something "off" about her from the minute I started telling him about her and her blog. But I adore her kids and like to see what they're up to.

supergrover · Guru

I too followed closely when Stellan was going through his many procedures. I don't much click over anymore. He seems to be doing fabulously, I've never been a fan necessarily of her personally, and regardless of if they made money at the time through clicks or were assisted with hotel rooms or whatever, I don't fault them for their time of true need (and clearly weren't banking millions if they did indeed lose house and vehicle to foreclosure).

We all make money mistakes, I'm still digging out of ours.

If the pay for prayer button now is true, that is tacky, but I also don't choose to go to her site anymore (well, I pop on on a rare occasion, but not often) so I'm not really supporting her financially anyhow. I wish all her kiddos the best, I hope she can find peace with the limelight she chooses to continue to shine on her family. Sort of my feeling on Kate Gosselin too. I pray for the kids.