well...we (don and I) just had a "talk" and things really need to change. i really need to make an effort to do things for him...
for starters, i am thinking,
a card; his favorite drink to keep in the fridge; make sure he has clean socks (he hates not being able to find any in the morning); (don't these sound really boring..lol)
now, i am a lost...what are some other things that might be good?
what do you do for your dh to make him feel appreciated and loved?
i could make him lunch and put it in the fridge! he usually takes something...but I could get it ready for him. i also should look into who is coming in concert. good ideas, sonya! thanks :smooch:
I'm a note writer - I can call Joe during the day at work, and do frequently, but he doesn't like to be called unless I actually need something, so I stick notes in his wallet, or slip him an email to let him know I'm thinking about him.
You've got a great list going - I always tell myself that nothing says "I love you" like clean socks and undies. But still Joe wakes me up all too often to match him a pair of socks, or dig through the clean laundry for what he needs. I'm kinda crappy when it comes to that kind of thing.
While I didn't get through all of them, I found the things discussed in the book The Love Dare to be a huge help for me. It helped me look at what I could do differently, and then as I acted differently, he did too.
ETA- I find myself flipping back through the book when we hit funks just to help me refocus on us.
-- Edited by supergrover on Sunday 14th of March 2010 09:23:53 PM
Do you know what his love language is? I have found that to be really helpful for us. My love languages are gifts and service (I think) and Doug's is affection. So, I tend to do gifts and clean house because that is what *I* would want but once I started making more of an effort to be aware of his love language, that helped quite a bit.
I know this may sound odd but sometimes one of the nicest things you can do for someone is when you are both talking to someone else and you tell the other person something very complimentary about your spouse.
For example
Suzie who's it: Wow! It's great to see you two. What have you been up to?
You: We have been doing the usual. Although the other day we took Ivy to the zoo. You know it is just so fun to see Dom and Ivy together. He is so patient with her and she just adores him. It's one of the ways I know he's is truly a good man.
Granted you might say something entirely different, but I hope you get what I mean.
DH always notices when I "dress up" and put on makeup and do my hair for no other reason than for hanging around the house with him.... the kind of stuff I did when we were dating but slowly stopped doing once we got married.
I know this may sound odd but sometimes one of the nicest things you can do for someone is when you are both talking to someone else and you tell the other person something very complimentary about your spouse.
For example
Suzie who's it: Wow! It's great to see you two. What have you been up to?
You: We have been doing the usual. Although the other day we took Ivy to the zoo. You know it is just so fun to see Dom and Ivy together. He is so patient with her and she just adores him. It's one of the ways I know he's is truly a good man.
Granted you might say something entirely different, but I hope you get what I mean.
libby, this is so true.
matt does this on occasion about me and it always makes me feel so great.
Do you know what his love language is? I have found that to be really helpful for us. My love languages are gifts and service (I think) and Doug's is affection. So, I tend to do gifts and clean house because that is what *I* would want but once I started making more of an effort to be aware of his love language, that helped quite a bit.
I was going to suggest The Five Love Languages too. I'm reading it now. I am totally words of affirmation and so this is also how I show love but like the book says I might as well be speaking a foreign language b/c that is not my partner's love language and therefore he's not feeling the love and won't until I speak to him in his love language.
i usually get up (most) mornings and make his coffee, something to take for breakfast, and his lunch. it really helps him start the day on the right foot. sometimes if i am feeling super nice and wifely, i will write a note on his napkin too ;)
I like to hide notes for David, like I know he gets a drink from the fridge out in the garage in the morning, so sometimes I will stash a note for him in the drink box....or in the seat of his car.
But for us, its usually the simpler things, like making sure he has his soap in the shower. ( he is notorious for forgetting to put a new bar in when his runs out!) Or like right now, having a new baby, I don't ask for help for the night time feedings so he can sleep.
Maybe rent a fav movie of his to watch together, or watch one of his shows that he enjoys with him. The concert thing is a great idea.
Do you know what his love language is? I have found that to be really helpful for us. My love languages are gifts and service (I think) and Doug's is affection. So, I tend to do gifts and clean house because that is what *I* would want but once I started making more of an effort to be aware of his love language, that helped quite a bit.
I was going to suggest The Five Love Languages too. I'm reading it now. I am totally words of affirmation and so this is also how I show love but like the book says I might as well be speaking a foreign language b/c that is not my partner's love language and therefore he's not feeling the love and won't until I speak to him in his love language.
I agree with all of this. I am totally Quality Time, and he is Physical Affirmation. I HATE to be touched, and don't see the value in snuggling on the couch, and always thought I was shunning him when I would sit across the room. But as soon as I read TFLL, I realized he was physical, and started to hug and touch him more, and he responded IMMEDIATELY. Crazy how accurate it is! I would try to determine Don's LL, and go from there!
Thanks for all the replies, girls! sorry, i haven't had time to respond.
thank you juni for reminding me of the love languages!! i remember reading it awhile ago, but i loaned it out and haven't gotten it back. but, i remember thinking that don was "acts" (I can't remember the exact wording).
