thursday talk

Supafly · Guru

RE: thursday talk

apies · Guru

supa, thanks for the input. my sister does marbles with my nephew and it works great for them. i think i may buy one of those bags of miscellaneous buttons and use that. i think my kids would put the marbles and the beans in their mouths. they LOVE putting change in our big coca cola bank so maybe the buttons would remind them of that.

i'm going to run this by matt and get his input and hopefully start it this weekend. he's just as guilty of the yelling as i am.

the roads are ok. side roads are still pretty messy, but the main roads are clear. i just txt'd my co-teacher and she told me that she heard some of the biggest neighborhoods in the town where i work haven't even been plowed yet so school tomorrow may be iffy. ugh.

Supafly · Guru

I think Bill and I need to go on a spending diet. Every month when I pay the Discover bill (the card we both use-Bill exclusively unless someone doesn't take it, and me most of the time), I am surprised.

A lot of it is gas and all my prescription co-pays and such, but retail is generally the largest chunk. I think our lives would be just as full if we didn't buy things, and it isn't like we are in need of anything, really. I buy too many clothes for the kids, and too many other "small" things that add up.

I am really tired of it. Bill just got a raise, he works his tail off, and we shouldn't be wasting his time away from us by buying junk we don't need. Not to mention I hate when my girls will say, "Oh, I wish I had __________." They have SO much.

Ok, that was my verbal vomit for the day. Now, the big question is will I actually be able to do what I say i want to do???

Supafly · Guru

apies wrote:

supa, thanks for the input. my sister does marbles with my nephew and it works great for them. i think i may buy one of those bags of miscellaneous buttons and use that. i think my kids would put the marbles and the beans in their mouths. they LOVE putting change in our big coca cola bank so maybe the buttons would remind them of that.

i'm going to run this by matt and get his input and hopefully start it this weekend. he's just as guilty of the yelling as i am.

the roads are ok. side roads are still pretty messy, but the main roads are clear. i just txt'd my co-teacher and she told me that she heard some of the biggest neighborhoods in the town where i work haven't even been plowed yet so school tomorrow may be iffy. ugh.

My girls would LOVE marbles. But I am cheap, so I spent a dollar for a bag of beans, lol. I like the idea of the buttons though-that would be good. They earn them for all sorts of things-like getting dressed by themselves, brushing teeth in the morning, cleaning up their dishes at mealtimes, good manners, etc. So they have lots of chances to earn beans.

Blah on the roads. Can't say it is a surprise, but I am sure you would like to get back to work!! I wonder if they won't try as hard though since tomorrow is friday anyway, kwim? They called Wed-Fri here on Tuesday. My neighbor said she had driven by her school and the parking lot hadn't been touched yet-from EITHER storm!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you though-it is going to suck having to make up these days.

Sara · Guru

i might try the jar thing sometime. very good idea.

sears of course showed up at 1:25 after keegan did not go down until 12:35 they were so damn loud it woke him up.

lord help me get through the rest of this afternoon.

apies · Guru

Sara wrote:

i might try the jar thing sometime. very good idea.

sears of course showed up at 1:25 after keegan did not go down until 12:35 they were so damn loud it woke him up.

lord help me get through the rest of this afternoon.

if you put him back down for another quick nap will it ruin bedtime?

Sara · Guru

apies wrote:

Sara wrote:

i might try the jar thing sometime. very good idea.

sears of course showed up at 1:25 after keegan did not go down until 12:35 they were so damn loud it woke him up.

lord help me get through the rest of this afternoon.

if you put him back down for another quick nap will it ruin bedtime?

there is no way he would go down again.

it just sucks since his last two nights have been crappy as far as sleep.

luckily john has a haircut at 4 and then he will be home and i am going to put him down by 630 drugged with meds to help with his teething and cold and hope he sleeps a bit better

i did not get my nap today on top of two nights of bad sleep...my nerves are shot.

Supafly · Guru

Sara wrote:

i might try the jar thing sometime. very good idea.

sears of course showed up at 1:25 after keegan did not go down until 12:35 they were so damn loud it woke him up.

lord help me get through the rest of this afternoon.

UGH Sara. That is the worst. I am so sorry!!!! I hope the afternoon goes smoothly, despite the nap interruption.

Sara · Guru

add to that he got two shots today at his check up :shoothead

Supafly · Guru

Sara wrote:

add to that he got two shots today at his check up :shoothead

Oh Lord!!!! Man, it is like the perfect storm over at your house!!!!!

(how many weeks are you again? I can't remember...)

Sara · Guru

Supafly wrote:

Sara wrote:

add to that he got two shots today at his check up :shoothead

Oh Lord!!!! Man, it is like the perfect storm over at your house!!!!!
(how many weeks are you again? I can't remember...)

11 weeks 2 days :)

apies · Guru

Sara wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Sara wrote:

add to that he got two shots today at his check up :shoothead

Oh Lord!!!! Man, it is like the perfect storm over at your house!!!!!
(how many weeks are you again? I can't remember...)

11 weeks 2 days :)

:clap2:

i can't wait til you tell the world so i can post stuff on your fb page.

i'm sorry about poor k's day. i am counting down for you over here.

matt won't be home til late, so i'm counting down too.

and i have that anxiety about how much i need to get done tonight since idk if we have school tomorrow. do i push to get everything done even though i might be home again tomorrow or do i be a slacker?

Supafly · Guru

Sara wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Sara wrote:

add to that he got two shots today at his check up :shoothead

Oh Lord!!!! Man, it is like the perfect storm over at your house!!!!!
(how many weeks are you again? I can't remember...)

11 weeks 2 days :)

Yipee!!! But definitely the time when you are in need of a nap!!! Can you wash and dry something to make the day seem better? (assuming they are done installing now)

Sara · Guru

apies wrote:

Sara wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Sara wrote:

add to that he got two shots today at his check up :shoothead

Oh Lord!!!! Man, it is like the perfect storm over at your house!!!!!
(how many weeks are you again? I can't remember...)

11 weeks 2 days :)

:clap2:

i can't wait til you tell the world so i can post stuff on your fb page.

i'm sorry about poor k's day. i am counting down for you over here.

matt won't be home til late, so i'm counting down too.

and i have that anxiety about how much i need to get done tonight since idk if we have school tomorrow. do i push to get everything done even though i might be home again tomorrow or do i be a slacker?

hmm, maybe do a bit in between, not over work but not complete slacker...lol

and probably another week and a half and we will share our news if things continue to go well.

u/s a week from today.

Sara · Guru

Supafly wrote:

Sara wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Sara wrote:

add to that he got two shots today at his check up :shoothead

Oh Lord!!!! Man, it is like the perfect storm over at your house!!!!!
(how many weeks are you again? I can't remember...)

11 weeks 2 days :)

Yipee!!! But definitely the time when you are in need of a nap!!! Can you wash and dry something to make the day seem better? (assuming they are done installing now)

i could but laundry is upstairs and with my lift restriction due to my hematoma i can not bring the baskets down.

and the tired, grump i have turned in to really doesn't want to fool with laundry..lol

Cuppycake · Guru

Supafly wrote:

apies wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Anna almost got her entire bean jar emptied today. She has been warned before that when it is rest time, she can play with what is in her room, but she is not allowed to come down here and get more things. She did it the other day and got in trouble. That time, I heard her (I was in the basement, as I was today) and hauled up there after her-she tried to get back to her room, but I was too quick, lol. Well, she did it again today. I immediately told her that she had to take 2 beans out of her jar for it, and if she did it again, that would be three strikes and she would have to empty her entire jar. It is almost full, so that was a blow.

Needless to say, she was in tears. But she knows it is against the rules, and Lord knows she has enough in there to play with!!!

i'm going to have to start something like that.

i am just yelling wayyyy too much for the same stuff all the time here.

do they get a reward for a full jar?

what are you using for a jar - that is, how big of a jar?

OMG-it has been a livesaver here. I also have a small jar, so I will take a bean away from myself if I yell at them. (raising my voice doesn't necessarily count. But the yelling was getting out of control and stressing me out as much as them-I just hated myself everytime I yelled) They feel like I am accountable as well. Bill has a jar too, but he doesn't earn much because he is never here, lol. But they like that we are all in it together.
They have small canning jars. One has a gold ring and one has a white ring but the inner tops are removed. I am not even sure how small they are, but small. Like 2-2.5" high? We use pinto beans because they are bigger. But you could use anything-small tupperware container, baby food container, etc. It should be small, IMO. As they get older, I figure they will be able to work longer at this, so we can move on, but for now, they need to see that they are making progress.
Yes, they can cash in a full jar for a reward when it gets full. We have had to have a number of discussions about it NOT being a competition-that we are all working on filling our jars and we will all get a reward for doing so, because Anna's jar is filling faster (shocking, I know) and she was rubbing that in. Anyway, right now, what Anna wants is for Bill to take her to the B&O Railroad museum, just the two of them, once she fills her jar. That may change, but I think it would be nice. But anything could work-whatever motivates your kids. A friend of mine said her older daughter cashed hers in for a trip to BAB.
I still get frustrated with them and still want to yell sometimes, but now they have the control. They really want to fill these jars, so I tell them they have a choice-keep doing what they are and lose a bean (or more, depending),or start making better choices. Most of the time it works, but sometimes not and they have to lose beans. Plus when I catch them doing things right, it makes them feel good-so they are both working on that. Anna harder than Kate, but Kate is getting there. I know this system won't work for everyone, but it really has been great for us.

Piping in to say that I love Supa's bean jar.

We started doing it with Hannah... we had a ton of fun colored paper clips, so that's what we use. Her jar is a washed out shaker container from parmesan cheese - it has indentations up the side, so for her, to the second line is a toy of her choice(which is halfway up), to the top is a mother daughter date (she's currently saving up for Super Hero Squad action figure, and then wants to save up to go get our nails done, lol.)

Anyways, it's been a freaking life saver.

Sara · Guru

we were by krispy kreme today as they are near the boys peditrician. i have been craving those darn sprinkled heart donuts since i saw the commercial.

i was just going to get 3, one for me, bryce and owen for snack earlier today.

for 3 it was $3.21 or i could get a dozen for $6.99

um, yeah 9 more donuts upstairs...i would go eat one now if i could hide from my kids.

oink...oink...

Sara · Guru

Cuppycake wrote:

Supafly wrote:

apies wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Anna almost got her entire bean jar emptied today. She has been warned before that when it is rest time, she can play with what is in her room, but she is not allowed to come down here and get more things. She did it the other day and got in trouble. That time, I heard her (I was in the basement, as I was today) and hauled up there after her-she tried to get back to her room, but I was too quick, lol. Well, she did it again today. I immediately told her that she had to take 2 beans out of her jar for it, and if she did it again, that would be three strikes and she would have to empty her entire jar. It is almost full, so that was a blow.

Needless to say, she was in tears. But she knows it is against the rules, and Lord knows she has enough in there to play with!!!

i'm going to have to start something like that.

i am just yelling wayyyy too much for the same stuff all the time here.

do they get a reward for a full jar?

what are you using for a jar - that is, how big of a jar?

OMG-it has been a livesaver here. I also have a small jar, so I will take a bean away from myself if I yell at them. (raising my voice doesn't necessarily count. But the yelling was getting out of control and stressing me out as much as them-I just hated myself everytime I yelled) They feel like I am accountable as well. Bill has a jar too, but he doesn't earn much because he is never here, lol. But they like that we are all in it together.
They have small canning jars. One has a gold ring and one has a white ring but the inner tops are removed. I am not even sure how small they are, but small. Like 2-2.5" high? We use pinto beans because they are bigger. But you could use anything-small tupperware container, baby food container, etc. It should be small, IMO. As they get older, I figure they will be able to work longer at this, so we can move on, but for now, they need to see that they are making progress.
Yes, they can cash in a full jar for a reward when it gets full. We have had to have a number of discussions about it NOT being a competition-that we are all working on filling our jars and we will all get a reward for doing so, because Anna's jar is filling faster (shocking, I know) and she was rubbing that in. Anyway, right now, what Anna wants is for Bill to take her to the B&O Railroad museum, just the two of them, once she fills her jar. That may change, but I think it would be nice. But anything could work-whatever motivates your kids. A friend of mine said her older daughter cashed hers in for a trip to BAB.
I still get frustrated with them and still want to yell sometimes, but now they have the control. They really want to fill these jars, so I tell them they have a choice-keep doing what they are and lose a bean (or more, depending),or start making better choices. Most of the time it works, but sometimes not and they have to lose beans. Plus when I catch them doing things right, it makes them feel good-so they are both working on that. Anna harder than Kate, but Kate is getting there. I know this system won't work for everyone, but it really has been great for us.

Piping in to say that I love Supa's bean jar.
We started doing it with Hannah... we had a ton of fun colored paper clips, so that's what we use. Her jar is a washed out shaker container from parmesan cheese - it has indentations up the side, so for her, to the second line is a toy of her choice(which is halfway up), to the top is a mother daughter date (she's currently saving up for Super Hero Squad action figure, and then wants to save up to go get our nails done, lol.)
Anyways, it's been a freaking life saver.

so are you emptying it after she gets her super hero or she adds from there to go get her mommy daughter date at the top line?

do they start with zero or did you guys put so many in there in the beginning?

Supafly · Guru

Sara wrote:

Cuppycake wrote:

Supafly wrote:

apies wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Anna almost got her entire bean jar emptied today. She has been warned before that when it is rest time, she can play with what is in her room, but she is not allowed to come down here and get more things. She did it the other day and got in trouble. That time, I heard her (I was in the basement, as I was today) and hauled up there after her-she tried to get back to her room, but I was too quick, lol. Well, she did it again today. I immediately told her that she had to take 2 beans out of her jar for it, and if she did it again, that would be three strikes and she would have to empty her entire jar. It is almost full, so that was a blow.

Needless to say, she was in tears. But she knows it is against the rules, and Lord knows she has enough in there to play with!!!

i'm going to have to start something like that.

i am just yelling wayyyy too much for the same stuff all the time here.

do they get a reward for a full jar?

what are you using for a jar - that is, how big of a jar?

OMG-it has been a livesaver here. I also have a small jar, so I will take a bean away from myself if I yell at them. (raising my voice doesn't necessarily count. But the yelling was getting out of control and stressing me out as much as them-I just hated myself everytime I yelled) They feel like I am accountable as well. Bill has a jar too, but he doesn't earn much because he is never here, lol. But they like that we are all in it together.
They have small canning jars. One has a gold ring and one has a white ring but the inner tops are removed. I am not even sure how small they are, but small. Like 2-2.5" high? We use pinto beans because they are bigger. But you could use anything-small tupperware container, baby food container, etc. It should be small, IMO. As they get older, I figure they will be able to work longer at this, so we can move on, but for now, they need to see that they are making progress.
Yes, they can cash in a full jar for a reward when it gets full. We have had to have a number of discussions about it NOT being a competition-that we are all working on filling our jars and we will all get a reward for doing so, because Anna's jar is filling faster (shocking, I know) and she was rubbing that in. Anyway, right now, what Anna wants is for Bill to take her to the B&O Railroad museum, just the two of them, once she fills her jar. That may change, but I think it would be nice. But anything could work-whatever motivates your kids. A friend of mine said her older daughter cashed hers in for a trip to BAB.
I still get frustrated with them and still want to yell sometimes, but now they have the control. They really want to fill these jars, so I tell them they have a choice-keep doing what they are and lose a bean (or more, depending),or start making better choices. Most of the time it works, but sometimes not and they have to lose beans. Plus when I catch them doing things right, it makes them feel good-so they are both working on that. Anna harder than Kate, but Kate is getting there. I know this system won't work for everyone, but it really has been great for us.

Piping in to say that I love Supa's bean jar.
We started doing it with Hannah... we had a ton of fun colored paper clips, so that's what we use. Her jar is a washed out shaker container from parmesan cheese - it has indentations up the side, so for her, to the second line is a toy of her choice(which is halfway up), to the top is a mother daughter date (she's currently saving up for Super Hero Squad action figure, and then wants to save up to go get our nails done, lol.)
Anyways, it's been a freaking life saver.

so are you emptying it after she gets her super hero or she adds from there to go get her mommy daughter date at the top line?
do they start with zero or did you guys put so many in there in the beginning?

We will empty when they get filled and start over, but we aren't doing graduations. IDK how Leah is doing hers.

We started from zero, but I noticed EVERY good thing they did at the beginning so they could earn some right away. They were excited to do it those first few days anyway, so they were on their best behavior. But I wanted Kate to earn some fast, since I knew she would need to have something to take away, lol.

Cuppycake · Guru

Supafly wrote:

Sara wrote:

so are you emptying it after she gets her super hero or she adds from there to go get her mommy daughter date at the top line?
do they start with zero or did you guys put so many in there in the beginning?

We will empty when they get filled and start over, but we aren't doing graduations. IDK how Leah is doing hers.

We started from zero, but I noticed EVERY good thing they did at the beginning so they could earn some right away. They were excited to do it those first few days anyway, so they were on their best behavior. But I wanted Kate to earn some fast, since I knew she would need to have something to take away, lol.

Ditto here -

We have a few set rules, particularly with the things we find most important for right now - using manners, controlling emotions, eating dinner, picking up after herself, and those all have set amounts of clips that she gains or loses.

We did the same thing, as far as really over-praising the first few days to get her really into it. Now we don't have to do that, but we are more mindful of praising things we'd normally not notice.

It's been insanely helpful to be able to tell her after an altercation, "You knew it would cost you x-amount of clips, and so you chose to lose clips. Next time I hope you chose to do y-good behavior.

Freaking love it. Seriously.