several questions following up on emily's conference

apies · Guru

several questions following up on emily's conference

CoffeeQueen · Guru

hmm, not sure why they discourage tracing. I mean I guess I can understand somewhat, but Allie does at her school. It is a fine motor skill and that is telling if she can trace. Not all kids are artistic or into drawing. Allie is not much of a drawer. She loves to paint, glue, cut, etc. She really could care less about drawing. Maybe Em does not really care for it. Not that she cannot do it. If that is the only area they see an issue with then I would not even give it a second thought. I was surprised one day too when Allie finally was drawing things. I had never seen her bring anything home that she actually drew an object, person. She can do it, but I guess it is not of interest to her right now. I think at this age some kids, if not all focus on a certain skill. I know right now Allie is big into learning to spell and works with the moving letter board. She loves it and is her prime focus.

They trace letters at school, their name, etc. They even trace letters in sand as they are learning to write. I am not sure how that would limit them.

Was that the only concern?

kdrew · Guru

I think that if your preschool classroom is anything like mine, there are a hundred fun, stimulating things to do there and maybe that's just not her favorite thing to do.

Maybe when it's time to sit down and draw she'd rather be playing in the play kitchen or building things or playing at the sensory table. Basically play with the things you don't have at home.

When I watch Sarah's class, there are only a few kids that will sit and actually get into and finish an art project that the teachers ask them to do.

Most of the time they are on to the next thing after a couple of minutes.

Or maybe she's just not into art.

Ryan wasn't that interested, still isn't really.

If you see that she's doing it at home, I wouldn't worry.

Supafly · Guru

First of all, WTG Emily!!! That is fantastic that she traced everything and drew you and wrote mommy-I saw that pic and thought that was awesome!!!

I really don't have much input as to what could be going on, but I wanted to tell you that the things I see come home from Anna (that she does at school) are infantile compared to what she does at home. I always thought that was odd. Then I volunteered one day, and I was in charge of the painting. Well, they have 18 kids in the class, and only maybe 4 or 5 can be painting at a time. They don't have a ton of time to sit there and paint (I mean, seriously, I felt like I blinked and the morning was gone-it went by FAST), so the kids tend to do things faster. I know at home, Anna could spend an hour easy painting or what have you.

The other thing I noticed is that many of them like to move on to the next activity, or get back to playing with whatever they had before they were brought over to the table to draw/paint, so they slap something down on the paper and move on. With the exception of maybe 2 kids, most everyone's masterpieces looked the same. They seemed to even get into trying to just cover as much of the paper as they could because the person next to them was doing the same thing, kwim?

And for Anna, she has this one friend at school who she adores, and they didn't paint at the same time. She was anxious to finish up and get back to playing with her friend.

Sometimes when I ask Anna what she drew, she will tell me, but most of the time she says, "I don't know..." which tells me she just rushed through it because when she actually tries, she can do it at home, kwim?

I worry about Anna in school all the time, but I was pleasantly surprised when I volunteered to see that she is remarkably like her classmates, with a few exceptions.

IHNI if this is helpful, I just wanted to post what I noticed going on here in that regard.

Juni · Guru

Well, I can tell you that Gavin went through this exact same thing but before that let me say about not tracing.

This is coming from working with pre-K ages and talking to one of our teachers and also knowing about our curriculum. At this age, they are right about letting them do their own art/creative things, etc. Well, according to the modern school of thought anyway. As far as how we are told at our school - no dittos. As in, you can model an art project - say a snowman but it is not appropriate to give them all the pieces to put together to look exactly like the model one, kwim? So, the no dittos would also be no tracing, that kind of thing. I am no longer a teacher though so I am not immersed in it like I was but this definitely is the school of thinking as far as I'm aware and as far as what curriculum we use. It is called creative curriculum, fwiw.

Having said that, Gavin's preschool does tons of planned art activities where he colors pictures that are already drawn and does "ditto" sheets. It is working out great for him. However, we went through a phase (albeit somewhat short lived) where he refused to do his work. His teacher sent home straws one day because he wasn't able to cut at school and she wanted him to practice cutting those. He did them (and there were tons) right when he got home without a single problem.

Soon after that I got a call from the teacher saying Gavin was refusing to do his work. I actually got the voicemail and didn't realize it so by the time I called the teacher back she had already dealt with the "situation." Basically Gavin refused to do his work. All the kids were telling him "you can do it" and stuff like that and for Gavin that was totally detrimental. He ended up sitting in the hall (no flames - I don't know if I would have done that or whatever but ultimately it worked) until he was ready to do his work. In fact, the teacher asked him if he wanted to do his work or stay in the hall and he said "stay in the hall" LOL. He did end up coming in and completing all of his work.

After that experience he blossomed. I mean, literally overnight he started writing his name all by himself. I was actually talking to Doug about holding him back when all of that happened and talked to him about how he is not coloring, or doing his work or writing at all. I kid you not within three days he was writing his name all by himself - without tracing and just on his own. Lo and behold he also stopped scribbling completely and colored his pictures and has since been doing his work just like he is supposed to.

So, ITU having a child who *can* do something but won't at school. At the same time - I know how Gavin is. He doesn't like to do things until he knows exactly how to do them. He didn't talk until he was almost 3 but I swear he talked a ton as soon as he did. He didn't potty train until after three but when he did he did it in two days and never had an accident - night time even. So, I am just writing it off as his personality and how he does things. As soon as he knew how to do those things and felt completely comfortable at school he did them GREAT. It has been within the last month since that incident and in that month it is unbelievable what he is doing. He can write "devastator" (the toy he wants for christmas :eyeroll) by memory. He knows the difference between upper and lower case. Writes everybody's names and draws very descriptive and detailed pictures. He was totally scribbling in one color just a little while ago.

Sorry to make it all about Gavin but just wanted to share our experience. It really hit home when I read what you posted. ITU thinking about keeping Emily back but I would also suggest that you keep an open mind because there is a LOT of time between now and September and I have seen how quickly kids can really progress and catch up so you never know!

It is rough. I barely got through the conversation with the teacher before I ran to the bathroom at work and cried. I almost cried when I saw the note with the straws too saying Gavin couldn't cut and needed practice. We just want our children to do well and it's hard hearing *any*thing "negative" about them. But I think it's great to know that Emily *can* do it because at least you know it is just that she will not do it at school and not that she is not capable. I don't necessarily see it as being immature but maybe just not confident enough. IDK. *hugs*

happylib · Guru

I just want to let you know that Elizabeth's occupational therapist has her tracing lines and letters to help her along with writing. I realize they may have a different philosophy at school, but if she likes doing it the way she did it for you, I really doubt there is any harm in it.

Given what you have said before about Emily's personality, I think there are also a couple of possibilities here. It's possible that she is carrying around baggage from before when she wasn't able to do things as well as her peers. At school, she might worry that she isn't doing what her peers are (even if she is now). It's also possible that she doesn't like the teacher telling her how she has to do something or is not understanding the teacher's expectations. Although you can not completely rule it out, I highly doubt that she is just being defiant.

Juni · Guru

I was thinking the tracing was referring more to the art activities and not letters? Or did you mean both?

Corey · Guru

i agree with kristi. maybe art just isn't her favorite part of school. i can tell you this...connor can draw all sorts of stuff...a person, a snowman, etc and he does so often on his chalkboard wall at home.

buuutt, at school, he would much rather be playing with the toys there and i can totally see it in the quality of the art projects he brings home. it is very evident he rushes through that station at school so that he can move onto other areas that are more enjoyable for him.

CheleLyn · Senior Member

apies wrote:

hey girls.

so at emily's conference last week, we talked about several things that i am now curious about.

they were telling us that she doesn't show much interest in drawing or coloring at school. they will be "drawing' something and emily will just scribble and say "it's a scribble XXX." the teacher was concerned it was a lack of confidence in her drawing skills (already?!?!?!? :(), so i asked if she traces if they give her something to trace. (fyi, we found out that "scribble" came from matt - he's been saying kindly, "emily, don't scribble, draw shapes or letters or whatever..." he felt awful.)

her teacher informed me that the current preschool school of thought is that tracing isn't encouraged b/c it limits their creativity. have you guys heard this?

as an english teacher who is aware of how trends come and go (phonics vs. whole language anyone?), i take everything with a grain of salt. matt and i left the conference VERY concerned about emily's progress. the next morning, however, for an activity since we were all home (emily's school was closed), i printed out some tracers and give them to her.

um, she traced a flower, a fish and then entire alphabet twice. then i gave her a blank piece of paper and she said she wanted to draw me. all i asked her was "if you draw me, what shapes will you draw?" and she said, "i draw your circle head, mom" and gestured a large circle in the air. i said, "good em! now draw what else i have on my head." that's when she drew eyes, nose, mouth, hair, ears and then added arms, legs and feet. then i spelled "mommy" to her and she wrote the letters on the paper completely unassisted. (my fb pic from the other day for those who saw it.)

all of this is what the teachers says she doesn't/won't do at school. so now i'm thinking that it's not that she CAN'T do the activities - more that she doesn't want to or is too immature to work at that level. would that make sense dyt?

anyway, we're pretty sure we'll be holding her back next year to repeat pre-k again. i'm fine with it - we'd talked about it already as a possibility. i just wish she weren't already bigger than most of her peers.

any thoughts you guys can share would be much appreciated. :)

RED: Daniel is in Pre-K in public school and tracing is how they are teaching them to make their letters and numbers...they trace sever Js (for example) to get their hands and brains used to making the new motions, kwim. IDT I explained it very well LOL....sort of like "muscle memory"

Juni · Guru

Another question for ya - is she still in an early intervention type of pre-k? It's through the school district, right? If so I am assuming a few things - much smaller classes than other preschools, more one on one with them and probably not as much sensory stimulation as in a lot of classrooms - i.e. multiple stations and being able to float from one things to another.

Of course it could be totally different than our EI preschools though but normally they are different in the size of classes and the sensory overload.

apies · Guru

Juni wrote:

Another question for ya - is she still in an early intervention type of pre-k? It's through the school district, right? If so I am assuming a few things - much smaller classes than other preschools, more one on one with them and probably not as much sensory stimulation as in a lot of classrooms - i.e. multiple stations and being able to float from one things to another.

Of course it could be totally different than our EI preschools though but normally they are different in the size of classes and the sensory overload.

thanks so much everyone!

juni, she is in a creative curriculum class, so you hit the nail on the head - i forgot that's what it's called until you said that.

she's in an inclusion preschool class - which means it's regular and special ed kids. there are 18 of them, 1 content area teacher (pre-k) and then always at least one other person but usually 2-3 others - a special ed teacher and 2 aids. we found out at the conference that the regular ed teacher has not taught an inclusion class before. her words: she's had kids with "issues" before but never any with IEPs. :sigh:

emily is also not socially well or following the daily routine well. she's just blatantly refusing to do things. like hanging up her coat when she arrives. they have to ask her repeatedly and sometimes it takes her 10 minutes to do it. she comes home after school, takes it off, hangs it on the chair and asks for a snack everyday, but for whatever reason at school, she won't follow their routine. when it's time to go to PT or OT (2 mornings per week) she FREAKS out and they have to sort of beg and plead with her to go down there with the therapists. ugh.

she's also not socializing with the other kids. during stations first thing in the morning, they say she wanders around, socializing with the teachers, etc, but she doesn't really interact with the other kids much. her attention to the stations is minimal and she more wants to be affectionate with the teachers. and this isn't for 5 minutes or something - the impression that i got was that it's more like 10-15 minutes of not really interacting with any of the kids or activities.

i totally cried in the conference - her teacher told us that it's like emily "has a piece missing." definitely not something i wanted to hear.

i'm holding out hope that she's just socially immature and will eventually be more interested in interacting with the other kids in her class.

in the long run, i'm sure that a lot of the immediate concerns will remedy themselves, but i'm not sure what her school future will involve. next year will most likely be pre-k again - that may or may not be in the same inclusion classroom. it may be in smaller, special ed classes for different areas, for part of the day or whatever. idk. they weren't able to address all of my questions b/c they just don't know the answers. i need to call the case manager at her school to find out what her options are.

it's upsetting no matter how i look at it. i just wish i could get her to DO stuff - at home she tends to just hang on me, or watch jake play and not play herself that much. which i KNOW is so weird for a 4+ year old. but how do i MAKE her play? so so frustrating.

i have no idea what to get her for xmas this year b/c she's just not INTO anything. jake will play with his cars for hours - emily doesn't really have anything that she loves to play with.

i'm just sad and frustrated and sort of disappointed - i really thought that the routine of school would help her blossom - and while i do see growth, i'm so frustrated that she's always several steps behind the other kids and struggling.

sorry that this turned into this huge vent. but i appreciate all the input.

daisy · Guru

april, i'm sorry youre going through all of this. it sounds like the teacher wasnt all that supportive at the conference ("a piece missing" is really tough to hear).

R's fine motor is her area of "weakness" also. i personally think she's doing fine (she's been writing her name since summer and drawing pics and coloring just fine) but her teachers say she doesnt put in much effort. i think they know she's capable of more than she's doing. and i personally know that the work she comes home with is nowhere near what she's capable of at home. sounds like this is a common theme.

basically, with tracing, i say whatever works. we did a LOT of tracing with R last year. she needed the confidence boost. she wasnt satisfied with her "drawing" looking like scribble. it pissed her the F off, and that frustration led directly to low-effort. i found that once i gave her a little structure and she could make something recognizable, her confidence started improving, and she started trying stuff on her own. i'd continue with the tracing at home if that's what's making her feel confident. you can gradually "fade it out" (i did this with R - we started with tracing lines...then i started making them into polkadots....then i made them farther and farther apart...then lighter and ligher....etc, till i didnt need them anymore). didnt hinder her creativity in the slightest. just helped with coordination and muscle development. AND confidence. for me, it's all about confidence right now.

as for the social part. she sounds just like R was last year. and the teachers were concerned LAST year. the expectations are just so high. you met me last spring april - you know i was concerned too. she kicked into gear literally overnight. emily will do the same. i now have VERY few concerns about her - i just think her social skills were late. when she was ready, she did it. that's it. there's no pushing stuff like that. it's not like muscle development. just tons of positive reinforcement is all you can do sweetie.

xoxox. i know this is hard. you're doing great, and so is she. she's come a long way.

Sara · Guru

i have stuff to write but busy morning so first *hugs*

is she one of the youngest? i am guessing by her birthdate she probably is that could be a reason for her to be behind some of the kids as far as socially, etc.

as far as the tracing not sure why they are not hip on that. i would think it would promote confidence in them while beginning to write letters and such correctly.

you are doing great and she has made such huge strides, remember that!

also, look how many of us are keeping our july 05ers back a year in kindergarten. i know frustrating for you but have you ever heard anyone say they regret keeping their child back and letting them mature some more before sending them off to fight with the big dogs in school.

CoffeeQueen · Guru

April - that is really awful they said a piece of her was missing. I mean I am all for telling the truth, but that seems a bit rough and honestly cold. Just because she is not conforming to what others feel is "normal" does not mean she has a piece missing. That makes me sad to hear.

I know you work and I struggle with this too, but I think maybe she could benefit from dance class, play dates or some other activity with kids that is not in a structured setting. See how she does and maybe it will give her an interest.

I tend to agree with Kelly in that she will come into it socially, but at a different pace. I mean she has come a long way and there may just be certain areas she needs to catch up in, but she is focusing on other things.

This may sound silly, but does she know how to approach a kid and play? Is she timid at all? Sometimes role play can help build confidence. I would say if by the end of her year 5 she is still showing these signs then maybe you can look into things, but I would not get too upset yet.

dorian · Senior Member

wow april, i'm late to this thread but so many of the things you've said here we've heard with cole. i'll try to break this up some, as it will probably get long.

a note first: we've had cole enrolled in 2 schools this year, 1st a public pre-k dual language program, and now he's back at his old private pre-k.

>>they were telling us that she doesn't show much interest in drawing or coloring at school. they will be "drawing' something and emily will just scribble and say "it's a scribble XXX." the teacher was concerned it was a lack of confidence in her drawing skills (already?!?!?!? :()<<
cole was having this *same* exact issue at the public pre-k. the children were given worksheets or blank paper and asked to draw or trace (they did tracing) and cole would scribble. the papers were handed out and then the teachers kind of stood back. the entire classroom was encouraged to finish, but no real individual attention was given. in this instance, many of the kids would begin completing the task. cole (in what we now believe to be an outburst due to his lack of confidence in his fine motor skills) would scribble till he broke the crayon or wad up the paper and put his head down on his desk. the teacher would then, single him out, unwad the paper or whatever and 'correct' him on how to draw. we saw cole's lack of confidence become worse and worse, manifested in ONLY scribbling from then on.

fast forward to after we pulled cole out of that program: cole is in a smaller setting now. they do coloring activities, but the sheets are handed out in 'batches' with each grouping of children receiving clear instructions. the teachers encourage them to be creative and give the children. then the activity starts at that table and they move on the next table. behind the instruction teacher, the other teacher comes by each table and tells everyone they're doing a good job, and then sits with any of the children who are unsure or struggling. this was Cole in the beginning, but as soon as he would get some positive feedback he'd try to not just struggle, but to actually do the assignment. I wish i had a picture on me, he's just now really getting the confidence to break out from the scribbling and the other day he drew a picture of himself for us. granted, lots of our kids have been drawing faces, etc. for a long time, but this is the FIRST time for cole and I about PIMP. For him, it was all about feeling like he *could* do it, with 1 on 1 attention. Make sense?

>>her teacher informed me that the current preschool school of thought is that tracing isn't encouraged b/c it limits their creativity. have you guys heard this?<<
at the public school it was ALLLLL about tracing. but they didn't help the kids understand what that meant (b/c most kids knew), so it was very non-productive for cole.

at his school now, most kids don't trace for the reasons you cited above. however, they've all told me that for where cole's at, and with his lack of confidence in his drawing/writing skills, tracing is the best thing for him. the outline helps to tell him he's moving in the 'right' direction. make sense?

>>all of this is what the teachers says she doesn't/won't do at school. so now i'm thinking that it's not that she CAN'T do the activities - more that she doesn't want to or is too immature to work at that level. would that make sense dyt?<<

i think this makes lots of sense. i'm also wondering if it maybe isn't a self confidence/self awareness issue. when we moved cole to a more one on one, and really positive environment, we saw these same issues start to fade. the classroom at the first school was so big (20 kids)/2 teachers, that it wasn't necessarily the teachers fault that they were delivering instructions the way they were, but it certainly wasn't helping cole.

they treated the class more like kinder kids than pre-k kids, and their high expectations was just too much pressure at times.

>>anyway, we're pretty sure we'll be holding her back next year to repeat pre-k again. i'm fine with it - we'd talked about it already as a possibility. i just wish she weren't already bigger than most of her peers. <<
i just want to encourage you that i think you know what's best for Em. We're holding Cole back as well, not becuase we feel like he's not smart enough, but because he's not mature enough. He's not ready for the kinder way of doing things. His attention span and such just isn't there yet. He's a million times improved from the beginning of this year but to some extent i'd rather him go into kinder being over confident and than to see anymore of these self confidence issues additionally manifest themselves.

so this was a lot about cole and not much about Em, but i know it's often good to compare notes. also, i think the issue with cole isn't a public school vs. private school issue, it was a classroom and instruction issue. many of the parents at the public school where he went, didn't understand why i pulled cole out of the school. it's know for being *the* public school, but my classroom visits just didn't support those statements. kids who didn't 'follow instructions' were pointed out, many times inadvenrtently, for not doing things the 'right' way. the attention that cole received for his scribbles made the kids focus on him and he was, many times, singled out. it was all in the way those teachers were handling cole, and it just wasn't right for our family. in this instance, we followed the sheeple, went to *the* place to be, trusting it was the right place b/c everyone else loved it. and it just didn't work for us. i encourage you and matt to sit in a few times when you're able, and to understand why Em may be acting out. I know you love the teachers and staff, but if she's being somehow singled out or something, even in a nice way, that may explain some of this.

whew, brain dump...happy reading. :)

Sonya · Guru

I didn't read all the replies yet but we were having scribbling "issues" with charlie.

We sat down and talked about it and he was scribbling because he thought all the kids could draw well and he couldn't. We hadn't been doing any crafts at home at all with the crazieness of moving but when we started doing it again and we were praising him for it, he really blossomed.

He was afraid of not being good enough so he just scribbled.

He also gets VERY frustrated if he can't do it perfectly and we really had to work on getting him to understand that it doesn't have to be perfect and crying over something you draw is silly.

just a few nights a week of doing drawing after supper (even 10 minutes) gave him a totally new opinion on drawing and letters and now our fridge is full of pictures (not scribbles)

Juanita · Guru

Sarah Grace's preschool encourages tracing, letters and drawings.

Sounds to me like she's doing FINE! Especially if she'll do it at home.

FWIW, Presley does the same thing. For instance, at school, she won't tell them her colors 90% of the time, and they KNOW she knows them, she just is so stubborn and does what she wants, lol. At home, she'll throw out the color of something completely random. Like the other day, Kenneth had on a red shirt, and we hadn't mentioned ANYTHING about what color any of us had on, and I was teasing her about him being "my daddy". She said, "No, that's my red daddy and you're my green mommy" (I had on a green shirt)

Some of the social stuff you mentioned just might be immaturity. Have they mentioned maybe not starting Kindergarten next year, and waiting, like Kristi's doing with Sarah?

-- Edited by Juanita on Tuesday 8th of December 2009 09:04:14 AM

dorian · Senior Member

okay, i just read your OP.

first, hugs. i've cried in every AARD we've had. boooo.

also, the refusing to do things was the #1 reason i knew that something was awry with cole. he only refused to do, in the classroom, what he didn't think he *could* do. drawing, art, PE, etc. When it came to things he was very confident about, telling stories, letter/word associations, they couldn't get him to sit down. They called him 'defiant' when he wanted to participate (too much so) and defiant when he didn't want to participate.

So no matter what, he didn't win. I wonder if it isn't that Em 'has a piece missing' (what an a*hole, btw...there are much better ways to say that and it's obvious this lady hasn't worked with IEPs before), but that she sees other kids doing well and would rather refuse than fail. If all she is getting is negative attention which then leads to 'positive' attention via bribes (to go to PT/OT), than the class is clearly sending mixed messages.

Am I making sense here? It's so clear in my head, what I'm trying to say.

She did all of that wonderful tracing in an environment which she's comfortable in (at home). She's compliant and respectful of the routine, at home. So maybe she's just not comfortable at school yet, for whatever reason. It could be a maturity thing or a classroom specific thing, hard to really know without doing some 1st hand visits.

kdrew · Guru

apies wrote:

Juni wrote:

Another question for ya - is she still in an early intervention type of pre-k? It's through the school district, right? If so I am assuming a few things - much smaller classes than other preschools, more one on one with them and probably not as much sensory stimulation as in a lot of classrooms - i.e. multiple stations and being able to float from one things to another.

Of course it could be totally different than our EI preschools though but normally they are different in the size of classes and the sensory overload.

thanks so much everyone!
juni, she is in a creative curriculum class, so you hit the nail on the head - i forgot that's what it's called until you said that.
she's in an inclusion preschool class - which means it's regular and special ed kids. there are 18 of them, 1 content area teacher (pre-k) and then always at least one other person but usually 2-3 others - a special ed teacher and 2 aids. we found out at the conference that the regular ed teacher has not taught an inclusion class before. her words: she's had kids with "issues" before but never any with IEPs. :sigh:
emily is also not socially well or following the daily routine well. she's just blatantly refusing to do things. like hanging up her coat when she arrives. they have to ask her repeatedly and sometimes it takes her 10 minutes to do it. she comes home after school, takes it off, hangs it on the chair and asks for a snack everyday, but for whatever reason at school, she won't follow their routine. when it's time to go to PT or OT (2 mornings per week) she FREAKS out and they have to sort of beg and plead with her to go down there with the therapists. ugh.
she's also not socializing with the other kids. during stations first thing in the morning, they say she wanders around, socializing with the teachers, etc, but she doesn't really interact with the other kids much. her attention to the stations is minimal and she more wants to be affectionate with the teachers. and this isn't for 5 minutes or something - the impression that i got was that it's more like 10-15 minutes of not really interacting with any of the kids or activities.
i totally cried in the conference - her teacher told us that it's like emily "has a piece missing." definitely not something i wanted to hear.
i'm holding out hope that she's just socially immature and will eventually be more interested in interacting with the other kids in her class.
in the long run, i'm sure that a lot of the immediate concerns will remedy themselves, but i'm not sure what her school future will involve. next year will most likely be pre-k again - that may or may not be in the same inclusion classroom. it may be in smaller, special ed classes for different areas, for part of the day or whatever. idk. they weren't able to address all of my questions b/c they just don't know the answers. i need to call the case manager at her school to find out what her options are.
it's upsetting no matter how i look at it. i just wish i could get her to DO stuff - at home she tends to just hang on me, or watch jake play and not play herself that much. which i KNOW is so weird for a 4+ year old. but how do i MAKE her play? so so frustrating.
i have no idea what to get her for xmas this year b/c she's just not INTO anything. jake will play with his cars for hours - emily doesn't really have anything that she loves to play with.
i'm just sad and frustrated and sort of disappointed - i really thought that the routine of school would help her blossom - and while i do see growth, i'm so frustrated that she's always several steps behind the other kids and struggling.
sorry that this turned into this huge vent. but i appreciate all the input.

So much of how you've described her reminds me of Sarah and I chalk it up to being young and immature.

She still plays around kids for the most part and with my boys, they didn't play WITH kids until their 4yo pre-school class but I don't really consider Sarah in the 4yo class yet, next year, I'll expect to see that kind of interaction.

I hope it's the same with Em. It seems to me that you have to take what preschool teachers say with a grain of salt because you can't expect kids under Kindergarten or even 1st grade to develop and act the same. They're still so young. I would start to worry in 1st grade when they really need to be keeping up with the level of learning that the other kids are at.

3s_a_crowd · Guru

hugs. If she can do things at home I would be just working with her there. maybe she just needs clearer instruction. Shes made so much progress, but I konw how frustrating it is when your kid just cant/wont do what other kids will.