we had about 3 good weeks when i introduced the sticker chart. he filled it (about 35 boxes) and then got his toy at target. then i started a new sheet, so we could keep it going.
it's been downhill since.
this weekend he peed in his pants 5-6 times. :ahh
i seriously am at my wits end. he is NOT doing this at school. he pees in his pants about 1 time every 2 weeks there. so whyyyyyyyyy is he doing this at home?
i seriously do not know what to do but tonight when i saw him waddling around the family room with his legs spread and his pants SOAKED and a puddle on the floor, i had to tell matt to take him away from me b/c i was going to KILL him.
tonight's new tactic is that he loses his dessert after dinner when he pees in his pants. i don't know what else to try. we did the positive reinforcement and that clearly hasn't worked, so what else do we try????
can you take a cars toy away each time he has an accident and make a sticker chart and say if you get so many stickers in a row then one of the cars may come down.
Ugh. I am sorry. This pt'ing stuff sucks, and I have so far had it pretty easy with both of mine (knock on wood).
I am not sure I could really offer any advice, but I know that with Kate's whole get out of bed a million times routine, taking away what she REALLY cares about (her purple teddy) worked well. I had a new little stuffed panda on a high shelf in her room that she could see but not get until she took good rests (several in a row), but she was only mildly interested in that. When I took her teddy away, she got down to business. I told her it was her choice-she could choose to keep getting out of bed and NOT have her teddy, or she could choose to stay in bed unless she had to go and get her teddy back. Making it very clear it was HER choice was a big help too because she is that kind of child. SHe has to be the one making the decisions, even if the choices are limited. She got her teddy back the next morning-though I know it was hard on her to be without it that one night.
We so far haven't had trouble with the pee accidents. Poop has been sporadic-she did go twice today in the potty, and while she will milk it for a treat, she doesn't care that much about it. She seemed to turn a corner with the poop (at least being interested in getting to the potty for poop) after her pedi visit on Friday because he and I talked about it in front of her. I know another doc in my practice wrote a script to for a child that said no sucking their thumb, and the mom said it totally worked because the doctor said (and the paper reminded him), would something like that have any impact on him? I am sure most pedi offices would do something like that for you.
Anyway, I know it might be mean of me, but when we have problems like this, I hit 'em where it hurts, and that always gets them back on track. Not sure what else to try because I have to say, Kate isn't much for the positive reinforcement either. Like she knows she gets a trip to BAB for anything she wants when she has made all of her poopy in the potty for 5 days in a row, but she doesn't care nearly as much as Anna did when we had the same deal with her.
Could he be seeing how it gets to you and pushing your buttons by doing it? Kate totally would. I have had to make sure to school Bill about how to handle accidents when Kate has them because if she sees it upsets us, it gives her reason to do it. Also, do you make him clean it up? (not entirely, obviously) We did with both girls and they think it is gross. Then I have made Kate go get herself new undies and such (her pants are not in a drawer she can reach, but her undies are) If he knows he has to clean it, would that make him less inclined to do it?
IDK-just throwing out ideas. I hope you find something that works!!!
Do he goes all day m-f at school? Then when he comes home he pees in his pants?
Did you ask the teachers if he is peeing at school or is he holding it?
He never did this before, right? This is new? He was fully PT before, right?
Hmmm, yeah I would think this is attention or control thing.
The only other thing is if he has some infection or something,but if he holds it all day in school or does not wet himself all day at school then I am not sure.
Ugh. I am sorry. This pt'ing stuff sucks, and I have so far had it pretty easy with both of mine (knock on wood).
I am not sure I could really offer any advice, but I know that with Kate's whole get out of bed a million times routine, taking away what she REALLY cares about (her purple teddy) worked well. I had a new little stuffed panda on a high shelf in her room that she could see but not get until she took good rests (several in a row), but she was only mildly interested in that. When I took her teddy away, she got down to business. I told her it was her choice-she could choose to keep getting out of bed and NOT have her teddy, or she could choose to stay in bed unless she had to go and get her teddy back. Making it very clear it was HER choice was a big help too because she is that kind of child. SHe has to be the one making the decisions, even if the choices are limited. She got her teddy back the next morning-though I know it was hard on her to be without it that one night.
We so far haven't had trouble with the pee accidents. Poop has been sporadic-she did go twice today in the potty, and while she will milk it for a treat, she doesn't care that much about it. She seemed to turn a corner with the poop (at least being interested in getting to the potty for poop) after her pedi visit on Friday because he and I talked about it in front of her. I know another doc in my practice wrote a script to for a child that said no sucking their thumb, and the mom said it totally worked because the doctor said (and the paper reminded him), would something like that have any impact on him? I am sure most pedi offices would do something like that for you.
Anyway, I know it might be mean of me, but when we have problems like this, I hit 'em where it hurts, and that always gets them back on track. Not sure what else to try because I have to say, Kate isn't much for the positive reinforcement either. Like she knows she gets a trip to BAB for anything she wants when she has made all of her poopy in the potty for 5 days in a row, but she doesn't care nearly as much as Anna did when we had the same deal with her.
Could he be seeing how it gets to you and pushing your buttons by doing it? Kate totally would. I have had to make sure to school Bill about how to handle accidents when Kate has them because if she sees it upsets us, it gives her reason to do it. Also, do you make him clean it up? (not entirely, obviously) We did with both girls and they think it is gross. Then I have made Kate go get herself new undies and such (her pants are not in a drawer she can reach, but her undies are) If he knows he has to clean it, would that make him less inclined to do it?
IDK-just throwing out ideas. I hope you find something that works!!!
he seems upset and doesn't want to admit he had an accident, so i'm not convinced it's a control thing. not to say that it's not, but i'm not sure. i just don't get that impression from all of this.
i have made him clean it up numerous times. he usually cries during, but i don't know how much of an impact it has on him.
i just talked to matt and i think i'm going to try to get him into the ped tomorrow night to make sure it's not a UTI or something else i'm not seeing before i go apeshit on his ass.
Do he goes all day m-f at school? Then when he comes home he pees in his pants?
yup. he's at school from about 7:30-3 and he pretty much stays dry all day except for nap when he's in a pull-up. he had a few bad days there about a month ago (before we did the sticker chart at home), but then he cleaned up his act and has pretty much been accident free except for once every few weeks. he did have 2 poop accidents last week (2 days in a row) and matt freaked out on him. one morning when i was already at work, matt told him that if he pooped in his pants at school again, he'd have to sleep on the deck. now jake tells everyone that. :bag: but he hasn't had a poop accident since. lmao
he pees in his pants after school 3-4 days per week. the weekends are the worst - today it was multiple times. ugh.
(oh, and as an aside, they were singing "wheels on the bus" this morning and he said "daddies on the bus say sleep on the deck, sleep on the deck, sleep on the deck," lmao!)
Did you ask the teachers if he is peeing at school or is he holding it?
i am going to ask tomorrow if he's initiating the bathroom trips at school or if he's only going at their scheduled times. it's only jake and 1 other kids in his class who are PT'd, but at diaper change times, they all have to sit on the potty before getting a clean dipe/pull-up.
he's definitely using the potty there b/c on his daily sheets, it's saying he peed 3ish times per day.
He never did this before, right? This is new? He was fully PT before, right?
he was fully pt'd from june til about october. then the shit hit the fan (pun intended).
Hmmm, yeah I would think this is attention or control thing.
The only other thing is if he has some infection or something,but if he holds it all day in school or does not wet himself all day at school then I am not sure.
we are going to hit the dr jic, but i think you're right - if he's not doing it at school like he is at home, it's not an illness or whatever.
Also, if it is not an issue of him wanting to be in control, could prompting him help? Setting a timer and when it goes off, he has to try?
this is what it's going to have to be. or else i might kill him. seriously.
we're flying on wednesday and i can't risk it - i'm going to have to put him in a pull-up for the trip. i HATE the idea of putting him in pull-ups when he's awake b/c i feel like it just encourages him to pee in his pants, but i have no choice. i can't trust him to tell me. and it's a 8 hour journey, start to finish.
Ugh. I am sorry. This pt'ing stuff sucks, and I have so far had it pretty easy with both of mine (knock on wood).
I am not sure I could really offer any advice, but I know that with Kate's whole get out of bed a million times routine, taking away what she REALLY cares about (her purple teddy) worked well. I had a new little stuffed panda on a high shelf in her room that she could see but not get until she took good rests (several in a row), but she was only mildly interested in that. When I took her teddy away, she got down to business. I told her it was her choice-she could choose to keep getting out of bed and NOT have her teddy, or she could choose to stay in bed unless she had to go and get her teddy back. Making it very clear it was HER choice was a big help too because she is that kind of child. SHe has to be the one making the decisions, even if the choices are limited. She got her teddy back the next morning-though I know it was hard on her to be without it that one night.
We so far haven't had trouble with the pee accidents. Poop has been sporadic-she did go twice today in the potty, and while she will milk it for a treat, she doesn't care that much about it. She seemed to turn a corner with the poop (at least being interested in getting to the potty for poop) after her pedi visit on Friday because he and I talked about it in front of her. I know another doc in my practice wrote a script to for a child that said no sucking their thumb, and the mom said it totally worked because the doctor said (and the paper reminded him), would something like that have any impact on him? I am sure most pedi offices would do something like that for you.
Anyway, I know it might be mean of me, but when we have problems like this, I hit 'em where it hurts, and that always gets them back on track. Not sure what else to try because I have to say, Kate isn't much for the positive reinforcement either. Like she knows she gets a trip to BAB for anything she wants when she has made all of her poopy in the potty for 5 days in a row, but she doesn't care nearly as much as Anna did when we had the same deal with her.
Could he be seeing how it gets to you and pushing your buttons by doing it? Kate totally would. I have had to make sure to school Bill about how to handle accidents when Kate has them because if she sees it upsets us, it gives her reason to do it. Also, do you make him clean it up? (not entirely, obviously) We did with both girls and they think it is gross. Then I have made Kate go get herself new undies and such (her pants are not in a drawer she can reach, but her undies are) If he knows he has to clean it, would that make him less inclined to do it?
IDK-just throwing out ideas. I hope you find something that works!!!
he seems upset and doesn't want to admit he had an accident, so i'm not convinced it's a control thing. not to say that it's not, but i'm not sure. i just don't get that impression from all of this.
i have made him clean it up numerous times. he usually cries during, but i don't know how much of an impact it has on him.
i just talked to matt and i think i'm going to try to get him into the ped tomorrow night to make sure it's not a UTI or something else i'm not seeing before i go apeshit on his ass.
thanks for the ideas. keep them coming.
Poor boy. :(
I hope it isn't a UTI or anything.
If it doesn't seem to be him wanting to control the situation, then I would try prompting. That is what seemed to work for Kate. She would also get upset if she had an accident, but she would freeze and not know what to do-Anna would always just run to the potty, kwim? Kate just stood there and started crying. So we started prompting her every 30 minutes, and she got a bit annoyed about it, but she kept herself dry, and for her, that was enough to make her want to stay dry all the time. She would just get so engrossed in playing that she didn't think about it-she needed reminders. As she started going on her own without prompting, we stopped timing it. And now if it has been a while, I just say something to her like, "Don't forget to go to the potty when you need to, Kate. You have been doing such a great job keeping your pants dry!" Half the time, she will say, "I think I need to go right now..." and head off to the potty.
I think ruling out any underlying issues first is a great idea. And who knows-maybe prompting wouldn't work for him anyway, but it seemed to for Kate-and she got so annoyed with it after a while, she decided it was better to just take over herself and pay closer attention than be forced to go every 30 minutes.
Also, if it is not an issue of him wanting to be in control, could prompting him help? Setting a timer and when it goes off, he has to try?
this is what it's going to have to be. or else i might kill him. seriously.
we're flying on wednesday and i can't risk it - i'm going to have to put him in a pull-up for the trip. i HATE the idea of putting him in pull-ups when he's awake b/c i feel like it just encourages him to pee in his pants, but i have no choice. i can't trust him to tell me. and it's a 8 hour journey, start to finish.
OMG-ITA. I would hate to do it too, but you have to. It would be miserable having to change him constantly.
I am lmao about the wheels on the bus!!!!!
Oh, and I know at school, Kate will them when she has to go, but they have scheduled pee breaks, so she mostly just goes when everyone else does.
I am sure you remember me going through this with Bryce. I think what Laura said about hit em where it hurts is what would get through to him. He did this numerous times every few months he would have a week of an insane amount of accidents of course he did this until age 5ish. :shoothead
Anyways, I always wonder about the negative attention. I went ape shit on him more than one time, actually can't count how many. At one point I finally told myself maybe he is liking the negative attention of it. I mean obviously we give it all to them when they have pushed every last button.
Finally, I got to the point where I would just say go change your underwear and pants and put your clothes in the laundry and I would then think of what toy I would take away calmly walk over get it and set it on the counter or some where high enough that he could not reach it but so he could see it and know why he got it taken away.
He was so random with it and I have no words of advice because I know I went to you MANY of times about to kill his little butt for all of the non-sense.
