I miss...

Lizzy · Guru

RE: I miss...

Juni · Guru

I guess for me it is just a weird feeling. It took me a looooong time to realize that even though I haven't met most of you, it is not crazy to think of you guys as REAL friends. Maybe they were pen pals in the good old days but regardless of how we met and kept in touch, I have considered my MS girls true friends.

While I think there are many reasons people have left (and I do agree with melissa that I think it is so much more than FB - but also think that has sucked people in too) it just plain feels sucky. It makes me doubt if I was silly to think of people as friends because as far as "real" friendships go most people would never just drop off the face of the earth and let that be that. I know tons of people have made efforts to get back in touch with some people and see how they are doing and there has been no return anything. Even just a line to let people know you're alive means a lot. I don't know.

***DISCLAIMER*** I am NOT talking about anybody in particular, just in general. And I know there are some people who are transitioning into a new phase of life with new babies or jobs or whatever who try to pop in when they can.

I guess the hard part is just having invested so much emotional effort into people's lives and then when they leave and you still want to know how they are doing and what is going on and they just stay gone. It's weird. I want to know that people are doing okay and it sucks when you don't have that chance.

And I am super thankful for FB in that I can still keep in touch with most people that don't MS anymore but are still there. That I understand. I don't understand as much people that just basically go away from everything without saying anything or makign an effort, ya know?

-- Edited by Juni on Tuesday 10th of November 2009 02:17:47 PM

CheleLyn · Senior Member

FoxyRoxy wrote:

i think that we we all started this there was only one child and probably during this years each of our families have grown a lot. where there used to be only playdates now there is soccer games or swimming.

what i miss the most? those swaps. not the actual gift but figuring out what to buy for someone who lives away from me, whom I have never met but that I REALLY appreciate. I use to look forward to watch those thread with all the pics and reactions.
like sunshine said I'm one of those who read a lot in here but don't post as often... yet I know most of your stories like they were my own.
can you believe that i'm actually counting the days for muffy's birth day? or that I know that daisy husband must be crazy with the yankees championship? or that i'm waiting to hear from cole and his hospital stay?
i mean... this are just some examples. i consider this site family and i love being part of it.

red...ITTTTTTTA...I was in the toy store yesterday getting rayleigh a xmas gift, and I got to thinking about and missing the swaps. Especially when i would see something that someone said they were getting their child for xmas this year or even just little doo-dads that could go in a package.

Jennie · Guru

muffy wrote:

Jennie wrote:

but seriously, i just can't wrap my head around the EXTREME amounts of time people waste on facebook and all those games. looks for some to be hours and hours a day... sure i occasionally pop onto my computer to play a zuma game - but its maybe once or twice a month. don't people have more interesting things to do with their lives in real life? i also have concerns for my children and the next generations - i am monitoring carefully the time my kids are allowed on the computer, and make sure their days are full with activities outside of the home!

As someone who plays those games...
Do I waste "EXTREME amounts of time on facebook and all those games"- No.
Do I play those games for hours and hours? No.
I don't get a lot of time to myself. I don't get a lot of time to myself outside of the house. Those games that I play- which are mainly just FarmVille and YoVille- I might try a couple others and then drop them b/c I don't like them- are my time to myself usually after DH gets home. I play throughout the day- yes. Usually when Addy is taking her cat naps. Where is Colin? He's right there with me. We work together. We figure out the crops, we do the math. We work it together. I do a bulk of the playing during his quiet time. I post FarmVille and YoVille stuff b/c I play with friends of mine. So it isn't an addiction for me. I don't waste countless hours on it. Every once in awhile I'm on it more often than usual just because I've gotten through my work and I'm bored and the kids are sleeping.
Jennie - sorry if you took offense to what i wrote. and tbh, i didn't consider you as one of those extreme people i was thinking about. there are quite a few people on my friends list from who i would get nearly 100 mafia wars messages or farmville messages all.day.long. (some i suspect play all day long at their "real life" jobs - that's another story. just happy i dont pay their salaries...)

i as well pop onto the internet every few hours or so. i use it as a bit of downtime. i award myself after i have gotten some "to-do"s accomplished. it is usually 2-3 min on momsquawk, my expecting club, and i check about 4 news sites. (oh, and perez a few times a day for my real guilty pleasure lol)

-- Edited by muffy on Tuesday 10th of November 2009 09:34:18 AM

Its okay.

I get teased A LOT by DH for playing FarmVille and YoVille. He teases me almost every day. But I love playing FV with Colin.

I get loaded with MW messages. Ugh. I don't play it. I stick with my two games and that's it. I like FB b/c I think its easier for me to keep in touch with everyone in one instant. Its often easier than a phone call because I often don't have the time or brain power to make it through a call.

FWIW- I have been overly stressed out and a bit touchy. I shouldn't have gotten sensitive about it and I did and I'm sorry. It has been just way too much over at my end this past month and I just haven't found an outlet for it. I'm sorry.

-- Edited by Jennie on Tuesday 10th of November 2009 03:12:02 PM

crystal · Guru

Juni wrote:

I guess for me it is just a weird feeling. It took me a looooong time to realize that even though I haven't met most of you, it is not crazy to think of you guys as REAL friends. Maybe they were pen pals in the good old days but regardless of how we met and kept in touch, I have considered my MS girls true friends.

While I think there are many reasons people have left (and I do agree with melissa that I think it is so much more than FB - but also think that has sucked people in too) it just plain feels sucky. It makes me doubt if I was silly to think of people as friends because as far as "real" friendships go most people would never just drop off the face of the earth and let that be that. I know tons of people have made efforts to get back in touch with some people and see how they are doing and there has been no return anything. Even just a line to let people know you're alive means a lot. I don't know.

***DISCLAIMER*** I am NOT talking about anybody in particular, just in general. And I know there are some people who are transitioning into a new phase of life with new babies or jobs or whatever who try to pop in when they can.

I guess the hard part is just having invested so much emotional effort into people's lives and then when they leave and you still want to know how they are doing and what is going on and they just stay gone. It's weird. I want to know that people are doing okay and it sucks when you don't have that chance.

And I am super thankful for FB in that I can still keep in touch with most people that don't MS anymore but are still there. That I understand. I don't understand as much people that just basically go away from everything without saying anything or makign an effort, ya know?

-- Edited by Juni on Tuesday 10th of November 2009 02:17:47 PM

me too. i feel like we have spent years building friendships with everyone, and then a bunch of them just disappeared. it is disappointing. facebook helps, but like pp said, it just isn't as personal. i put very general crap on facebook. i have put intimate details of my life on here. it is just not the same and i feel sad that so many people have left. i just wonder what they are up to and wish they would drop by with an update, even if they aren't on here often.

Dddiii · Guru

Lizzy wrote:

FoxyRoxy wrote:

i think that we we all started this there was only one child and probably during this years each of our families have grown a lot. where there used to be only playdates now there is soccer games or swimming.

what i miss the most? those swaps. not the actual gift but figuring out what to buy for someone who lives away from me, whom I have never met but that I REALLY appreciate. I use to look forward to watch those thread with all the pics and reactions.
like sunshine said I'm one of those who read a lot in here but don't post as often... yet I know most of your stories like they were my own.
can you believe that i'm actually counting the days for muffy's birth day? or that I know that daisy husband must be crazy with the yankees championship? or that i'm waiting to hear from cole and his hospital stay?
i mean... this are just some examples. i consider this site family and i love being part of it.

what a sweet post!! i feel the same way too.

i feel as though everyone here is my friend and i really try to keep up with everyone although i don't post that much. i still think of everyone

I agree You are all so much a part of my life now! I can't tell you how many times in a week I am starting a sentence with "One of the moms on my mom's board..."

I need to buckle down and just hit "reply" more often. I find myself on here several times a day, planning on replying later, but never seem to get around to it (yeah, I suck).

daisy · Guru

FoxyRoxy wrote:

i think that we we all started this there was only one child and probably during this years each of our families have grown a lot. where there used to be only playdates now there is soccer games or swimming.

what i miss the most? those swaps. not the actual gift but figuring out what to buy for someone who lives away from me, whom I have never met but that I REALLY appreciate. I use to look forward to watch those thread with all the pics and reactions.
like sunshine said I'm one of those who read a lot in here but don't post as often... yet I know most of your stories like they were my own.
can you believe that i'm actually counting the days for muffy's birth day? or that I know that daisy husband must be crazy with the yankees championship? or that i'm waiting to hear from cole and his hospital stay?
i mean... this are just some examples. i consider this site family and i love being part of it.

this is soooo sweet. my husband WAS crazy with the championship - not only that, but he was THERE!!! WOW!!!

Robin · Guru

I miss lots of people as well.

However, I think the drop in regular posters is just natural. I still post fairly regularly, but even I can't spend as much time on the computer as in previous years. I have to spend a good deal of time working with Henry because he's struggling in school. I've implemented a no-TV policy after school, and I feel like I should stay off the computer during that time as well. Also, Mark doesn't nap at all anymore and he has zero tolerance for letting me sit here and post when he wants my attention. I've started working again--only one day a week right now but expecting/hoping to add more days plus I volunteer at Henry's school when Mark is at preschool.

The only time I can really post is in the evenings, and no one is EVER here.

Like Roxana, I also miss the swaps. Since I've been Christmas shopping for my kids, I'll see stuff and think, "Oh, So-and-So would really love that!" or "I wonder if You-Know-Who still loves those."

Kids go to school, people go back to work, people aren't as stuck at home as when their kids were younger, kids stop napping, so many reasons . . .

CoffeeQueen · Guru

Robin wrote:

I miss lots of people as well.

However, I think the drop in regular posters is just natural. I still post fairly regularly, but even I can't spend as much time on the computer as in previous years. I have to spend a good deal of time working with Henry because he's struggling in school. I've implemented a no-TV policy after school, and I feel like I should stay off the computer during that time as well. Also, Mark doesn't nap at all anymore and he has zero tolerance for letting me sit here and post when he wants my attention. I've started working again--only one day a week right now but expecting/hoping to add more days plus I volunteer at Henry's school when Mark is at preschool.

The only time I can really post is in the evenings, and no one is EVER here.

Like Roxana, I also miss the swaps. Since I've been Christmas shopping for my kids, I'll see stuff and think, "Oh, So-and-So would really love that!" or "I wonder if You-Know-Who still loves those."

Kids go to school, people go back to work, people aren't as stuck at home as when their kids were younger, kids stop napping, so many reasons . . .

totally agree, but to never stop in and say hey or anything. I mean I think many just flat out left. dunno, I still think it is a choice.

I wait to my kids go to bed in the evening and post sometimes at work when I have a sec or two of downtime.

happylib · Guru

I miss people too. I know I post on here but there are days and weeks when things get crazy and I only post here and there. I too read the threads but don't always post. I am on FB too, but I agree it's not the same. I look at FB as entirely a different vehicle, which is good for general communication, but not for the kind of camaraderie and support that is on here. I have hopes that it build up again, but also think that what others have said about lives changing and families growing has made an impact. I think one thing that I am not so good at is reaching out to new posters on here. It's not that I intend to be that way. I just don't seem to do such a good job with it. Regardless, I do enjoy the friendships on here.