sappy wrote:

---

so i typed out this whole thing and came to realize it's all about preference for me & dh.

he is totally willing to help with whatever. i don't think he should have to clean & cook on top of working all day every day. so .....

basically i need my "work time" (ie: things i can't seem to get done with the kids  like cleaning the kitchen floor, packing for the move, "big" grocery shopping & cleaning out closets,) to be scheduled. i need to know he'll take them out saturdays for 3 hours - every saturday. and that it's ok for me to go shopping for the family groceries on thursday nights.

he is not great with schedules and just figures since he'll help out with whatever i could just roll with it.

hmmm.... a lightbulb moment. i'm going to have to tell him all this.

because he IS great. he does work really hard, he does do the kids' baths 80% of the time, he rubs my feet, he listens to me freak out about the kids...

and i just don't want to take advantage of him.

---

I'm just seeing this now and haven't had a chance to read the other replies yet, but WOW, I totally understand/agree/relate/etc. to this.  I need to get myself on a schedule too but also include Mike in my plans.   He wouldn't mind if I ask, but I don't ask.  And then I get mad because he didn't do x,y,z.  I feel the same way... I don't want to take advantage of him.

Are your kids on a "schedule" now?  Meghan really isn't and I think she would greatly benefit from one.  I've tried before but I just feel like something comes up every single day to throw us off schedule (including the fact that I just don't want to do what I've scheduled LOL).