Do you let your children win when you play games with them? Why or why not? Does it depend on the age of your child/ren? At what age do you change your strategy?
if it is a chance game like chutes and ladders or uno, then no.
if it is a skills game/sport where clearly the parent is more skilled, then we will modify the game to level the playing field.
it is very important that a child learns both winning and losing. but one thing we really focus on is being gracious and a good sport whether winning or losing.
timmy, now 13, used to HATE to lose, and we really had to work on his good sportsmanship a lot. he would even quit games in the middle if he was losing badly. well, he played in the national basketball championships a few months ago (in his agegroup) they were winning by 2 points till the last 2 seconds of the game, then lost the game in OT.
his entire team had an emotional meltdown - crying, one kid even was rolling on the ground having almost a tantrum. timmy was the only one who stood tall - he walked over to the referees and all the other team members and shook their hands - the others on his team followed after... but i was SO proud of him - and he was the captain of the team and really played his heart out. it was at that moment that bert and i realised we did at least something right, parenting-wise. :)
My parents play games--board games and card games--with Henry almost every day right after he finishes practicing the piano (which is at their house). I joined them the other day and won at Uno. My mom gave me a dirty look, and then we started another round. That's when I noticed that my mom and dad both were cheating blatantly to let him win. Um, he's NINE! Not that I would let him win if he was younger, but I thought that was ridiculous.
I don't even let Mark win, although sometimes I'll make games easier so I don't have to endure them as long.
After Uno, Old Maid, and Scrabble Slam, we started playing hangman. I won that pretty quickly and my mom practically jumped down my throat for not letting Henry continue making his hangman alien out of our bad-guess letters. When Henry went to the bathroom, I told my parents that I couldn't believe they were letting him win. It's character-building to lose sometimes too. She SAID that he does lose sometimes. I don't think I believe here.
I agree with Megan that it is important to learn how to handle losing. Otherwise, it's going to be pretty difficult to make and/or keep friends. Nobody likes a sore loser (or someone who quits because they might lose.)
Allie is very competitive and hates to loose. That is one reason I am putting her in soccer this fall. I want her to learn how to play on a team and be a good sport. She is pretty good for the most part, but just cried the other night when I beat her at Zingo. It was commical. I asked her why she was crying and she told me she wanted to win.
if it is a chance game like chutes and ladders or uno, then no.
if it is a skills game/sport where clearly the parent is more skilled, then we will modify the game to level the playing field.
it is very important that a child learns both winning and losing. but one thing we really focus on is being gracious and a good sport whether winning or losing.
timmy, now 13, used to HATE to lose, and we really had to work on his good sportsmanship a lot. he would even quit games in the middle if he was losing badly. well, he played in the national basketball championships a few months ago (in his agegroup) they were winning by 2 points till the last 2 seconds of the game, then lost the game in OT.
his entire team had an emotional meltdown - crying, one kid even was rolling on the ground having almost a tantrum. timmy was the only one who stood tall - he walked over to the referees and all the other team members and shook their hands - the others on his team followed after... but i was SO proud of him - and he was the captain of the team and really played his heart out. it was at that moment that bert and i realised we did at least something right, parenting-wise. :)
That must be a great momment when you see your child do the right thing.
I don't let her win but I make some games easier for her. Basically it depends on the game and her understanding of it.
Yes this is exactly what I do too. Well with Lauren anyway. Anna I might let win if she would ever finish a game but her attention span doesn't allow that yet.
I do let Alexandra win sometimes, but by no means all of the time. I think a lot of it has to do with what I think her mood is as we enter the game. If she's in a cooperative mood that I think will help set the stage for a meaningful conversation about losing and why we play games to begin with, then I won't. But if the mood isn't right, I will.
I guess the way I see it, there's a balance between fostering self-confidence and good sportsmanship. I want to make sure that she has fundamentally established a love for putting herself out there before leaving the reward for that to mere chance.
I definitely keep a close eye on the sportsmanship thing, though -- and in having my other child be the person against whom she's most often competing, I have a constant incentive to do so -- LOL! Also, in entering the runs like we do, she gets to see first hand that winning isn't everything, because there's no way in hell we're going to win one of those!
My parents play games--board games and card games--with Henry almost every day right after he finishes practicing the piano (which is at their house). I joined them the other day and won at Uno. My mom gave me a dirty look, and then we started another round. That's when I noticed that my mom and dad both were cheating blatantly to let him win. Um, he's NINE! Not that I would let him win if he was younger, but I thought that was ridiculous.
I don't even let Mark win, although sometimes I'll make games easier so I don't have to endure them as long.
After Uno, Old Maid, and Scrabble Slam, we started playing hangman. I won that pretty quickly and my mom practically jumped down my throat for not letting Henry continue making his hangman alien out of our bad-guess letters. When Henry went to the bathroom, I told my parents that I couldn't believe they were letting him win. It's character-building to lose sometimes too. She SAID that he does lose sometimes. I don't think I believe here.
I agree with Megan that it is important to learn how to handle losing. Otherwise, it's going to be pretty difficult to make and/or keep friends. Nobody likes a sore loser (or someone who quits because they might lose.)
Ditto! lol.
I will be slow on the uptake on games that require identifying something first, like for slapjack, or zingo, but, if I get the right cards first? I win!
We used to let her win occasionally until she was in the 3 yo range, just to build her confidence. She's uber-competitive, and hates to lose, too. Serious meltdown if she doesn't get the last marble in Hungry, Hungry Hippos.. (she'll even try to sneak her toe under the board to tip it in her direction, lmao.) Oy vay. But now we'll play normally with her and talk to her about how she can't win everytime, although if I'm totally stomping her at Pretty Pretty Princess or something, I'll dial it back a notch, lmao.
