how do you choose activities?

daisy · Guru

RE: how do you choose activities?

daisy · Guru

Alyssa wrote:

Ethan has taken swimming and soccer. Swimming, he liked and we've signed him up again for the fall. Soccer, I think he was still too young and the class was too long. Plus he was very timid, like he'd sit on the side for the first half of the class. It was when he was home with EJ so that may have contributed but honestly, Ethan just takes a while to warm up to situations and he didn't know the kids and they kept switching coaches on us.

So the plan is swimming this fall. After that we'll offer soccer or swimming or nothing, and my guess is he'll pick swimming. And in the spring, EJ wants to sign him up for t-ball--they've been practicing--but if he doesn't like it, I won't push it after this season.

Ethan is not interested in sports really, which is hard for EJ because he so is. I think he'll end up doing track or something more solo. He's fast.

I'd love to sign him up for piano but I don't think he has the attention span yet and he hasn't expressed an interest at this point.

R is definitely not into sports (yet, anyway). if you kick a ball to her, she'll kick it back. once. and then she'll pick up the ball and try to use it as a table for her tea party. if you throw a ball to her, she catches it but then says "catching isnt really for me." lol.

she definitely isnt into running around with other kids. like ethan, she gets timid about it and ends up just watching mainly. it's funny bc i see other kids - they LOVE running around and kicking and throwing and shouting, and R is just so not that kid. i dont want to pigeonhole her from now as "not the sports type" but i think it would totally stress her out if i started from now - i think she'd do better with something more individual also (which is why i'm trying yoga).

Sara · Guru

Alison wrote:

Sara wrote:

a_mastermom wrote:

I just signed Natalie up for ballet, but only because she has been harassing me about it. It has been at her insistence and I didn't feel like I could put it off any longer. She is going for 45 min every Sat. Right now, I am not sure how I am going to juggle all the activities between my three kids and I was hoping that she could hold off another year before getting involved in anything - not the case. Believe me, once it starts, it never stops.

As for my boys, I started them off with soccer since it was the only sport offered at an age before kindergarten. It was obvious early on that they both LOVED sports. They now play football, basketball, flag football, baseball, summer baseball and soccer. Yes, shoot me now. If they didn't love it so much, I would not do it. They are the type of kids that get up in the morning and put on ESPN to check scores and highlights.

The scheduling can get insane. And once school starts and you throw in homework, it is even crazier. So, from a BTDT mom, don't rush your kids into anything - they have plenty of crazy activity years ahead of them. It's one thing if they love something specific, but it's definitely not necessary at this age.

Your boys and Bryce would get along well. While most kids want cartoons Bryce wakes up and asks for you to turn on Sportscenter.

Owen is not going to be in anything this fall. We did an intro to soccer and an intro to t-ball program this spring and summer. He had fun but he was still a bit young. I figure next summer he will want to be in something and if not we will hold off another year.

Bryce is in love with sports. He started off with soccer and has since done basketball and baseball. Baseball is his true passion. He absolutely adores it. He is getting ready to start a fall ball league. Had he not played fall ball he would've done flag football. We let him pick one or the other. The games would've interferred with each other but even if they didn't I am not sure I would've let him done both at the same time.

OMG, your siggy! :swoon x3

ty, my dear.

as always alicia is the BEST!

muffy · Guru

ita with alicia - don't really push activities till they are in first grade - anything they do now is "fun" activities - kwim?

and don't be surprised/mad if they kid wants to change sports as they get older...

the only rule we have in our house is one physical sport, and one "artistic" sport.

timmy started with tennis and football (soccer to the yanks), and for fun rugby on saturdays. about 2 years later, he kept up tennis but hated soccer, so we switched for fencing, which he excelled at. our only concern was tim is not much of a team player and both tennis and fencing are individual sports. he naturally switched to basketball, all on his own, 2.5 years ago and it looks like that is the great love of his life.

for his "artistic" activity he takes guitar lessons - he hates that but its only an hour a week and he is not allowed to give it up unless he chooses another artistic activity he wants to substitute with.

Cecile started ballet, i guess mostly because i was a ballerina :) she did not like it, so we switched it for swimming, which she really loves, she is a fish. she also is very active in a theater group, and has been playing piano for the past 2 years (she loves that and is excelling at it - that appears to be her niche)

clara - i have her in ballet, because she soooo wants to. but she attended a mixed ballet/gymnastics camp this summer, and the teacher pointed her out as being far more advanced in gymnastics than any other girl - we still will keep her in ballet, but when i get back to lux i might search out a kiddie gymnastics class too. she wants to play the piano - she is fascinated by it and can already play twinkle twinkle little star.... the teacher will start her with mini lessons in september.

sappy · Guru

megan, i love your idea of one athletic and one artistic activity.

i think i am going to do that with my kids.

jake has tried soccer (hated it) & trumpet (never practiced) but has played baseball consistantly every year since he was about 6. it's his great love. he's like alicia's kids - he wakes up watching sportscenter, checks mlb.com all the time ... i was hoping to get him into the fall ball league here but i never heard back from the coach.

this year he's trying out for high school baseball in the spring but i think i am going to make him pick an "artistic" thing for the fall.

caroline & mikey haven't done anything yet. i've been contemplating something like tae kwon do (sp?) for caroline for focus/discipline but now that i've read this thread maybe i'll see about getting her into yoga. that could be good for her. maybe we could do a beginner mom/daughter thing.

Alicia · Senior Member

Alison wrote:

Oh, and I think all the little girls should take ballet, because the pics of them dancing KILLS me!

Ballet is also good for boys who play sports. For Raven right now it is all about exposure and fun. The only sport I have a problem introducing to her is basketball. I hate it but I guess it is something I should get over. I'm guessing as long as she is playing I will love it.

LDSMOM · Senior Member

Alicia wrote:

Alison wrote:

Oh, and I think all the little girls should take ballet, because the pics of them dancing KILLS me!

Ballet is also good for boys who play sports. For Raven right now it is all about exposure and fun. The only sport I have a problem introducing to her is basketball. I hate it but I guess it is something I should get over. I'm guessing as long as she is playing I will love it.

I'm the same way with soccer. I despise soccer but my kids like to play so I suffer through it.

Erin · Guru

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Chrissie · Guru

CoffeeQueen wrote:

ya know I was thinking about this a lot in the last few days. Everything here starts soon and I have to register by next week. I do not want to over schedule her since she does go to school M-F from 8:30-3:00. She did only dance last year and that was one day a week and a half hour.

We are going to sign her up again for ballet this year. If by the end of the year she is not majorly into it we may not continue. For me at this point it is exposing her to things to see what she like and enjoys. Along with that I like getting her involved in team sports to have her learn teamwork and sportsmanship. I am not too concerned about anything, but I do not want to wear her out.

I really wished my parents had started me younger in sports. Around here you have to get your foot in the door young for soccer and that. I really want to just start giving her a taste of things to see what she will want to continue with.

I think we will do ballet and that is all year. Then we will do Soccer this fall. It is very low key and only 1 hour on a Sat. That includes practice. IF she likes it then we will continue.

I do also want to look into an instrument or some form of music to expose her too also. Rich played violin and continued to play into college. He played in the symphony and also played Soccer in college. So, I am sure he is going to push Soccer :)

Other then that there is no real rhyme to my reason. I want her to have fun, get some physical activity, meet new friends and figure out what she will want to take as she gets older.

I agree with you that I want to expose M2 to different things and see what he likes. I also wish my parents had put me into different things when I was younger.

We choose dance class just because it was offered at M2's school during school hours. He also has always liked music and dancing so we thought he'd like it. He loves his dance class and comes home showing us his move. He takes two classes(ballet and funky feet.) Each is 45 minutes long. In the spring his teacher was concerned that both classes would be too much for him and that he was the only one doing both, but he did great and really enjoyed them. So he will continue those this fall.

We started him in t-ball during the summer because we thought he would like it and it was really the only sport available for his age.

Right now as I said in the other post the sports available to him in the fall are t-ball, soccer and football. I keep asking him to choose one sport but he tells me he really wants to do all three.

I don't see it as a problem, since one is monday, one is tuesday and the other is saturday morning. Each of them are an hour long, so in total he's doing 3 hours a week. I would actually rather him only do 2 activities right now, but I hate making him choose and he says he wants all three.

I think he will have fun doing all this sports. He is a total sports person. He loves his sports.

With that said if there is something that he decides he doesn't like we won't continue with that particular activity.

dorian · Senior Member

great thread Kelly, I'm going to continue reading but wanted to answer RQ.

Cole has done a number of things here and there.

For the school year we are going to take him out of gymnastics. He started gymnastics because I thought it would be a fun way for him to work on his motor skill challenges. It's made a HUGE difference for him, and I'd love to keep him in it, but we can't afford it. I asked him the other day if he would rather keep doing gymnastics or keep doing swimming, and he chose swimming...so that's what we're keeping him in.

Swimming I chose to enroll him in, not because he wanted to do it but because we had a scare where he stepped into a pool and we didn't hear him and he was totally underwater and unable to figure a way out. So that pushed us into swimming, and as it ends up, he really enjoys it and is the first 'physical' activity we've really seen him do well in. We plan on keeping him in that indefinately, until he's either no longer interested or we can no longer afford it.

I'd also like to try a few team sports this year as well. Soccer and maybe t-ball or something. The problem is, with his joint issues, sometimes running can be pretty painful. We'll play it by ear on those things.

Tonight is "Meet the Teacher" Night at his new school, I know they offer some variety of after school activities, and we'll check those out as well. If there is something Cole feels pretty strongly about being involved in, we may consider it.

We are in the process of moving from him doing the things *we* wanted him to do, to doing the things he's interested in.

Supafly · Guru

daisy wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Michele wrote:

Lauren and Anna will both be in ballet this year. Lauren loved it last year and Anna seems to have a natural gift for it so I'm going to enroll her even though she is only 2. Lauren is begging to take tap too but I'm on the fence about it. I just don't know if she really understands it.

That's about it. Lauren is not a sports person. I considered soccer but she hates being hot and it is so hot here that I know she would quit 5 minutes into playing. Anna would love it but she's too young still.

If we ever move I am planning to move my piano from my mom's house to our new house. I will definately have the girls take lessons. Lauren already is showing a big interest in piano and guitar so I am excited to get her involved in those things when she gets a little older.

OMG I always wished I had taken tap!!! My mom was a big "no overscheduling" type, so I had to choose between that and jazz dance (I already took ballet), and I went with jazz. I always regretted that!!

That and the fact that I didn't practice piano. My mom told me I could either practice or wash dishes. And let me tell you...I can wash dishes like nobody else. I really did myself a disservice by not practicing and putting forth the effort, which is one of the big reasons I intend to force it on my kids, at least until they learn the basics. Definitely one of those "you'll thank me later" types of skills.

you should totally take tap now!! i know tons of adults who do it!

OMG Kelly. Fat girl say NO to that!!!! LMAO!!!!!

Supafly · Guru

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Erin, since I am the one who said I will force them into piano, I will respond by saying on this topic, I really don't care if they hate it. They will be required to play piano and take lessons until they know the basics, as piano is hands down the best way to learn the basics of music. I hope they enjoy it enough to get decent at it, and I don't intend to be mean in my approach about it, but it will not be optional, and if they don't like it, too bad.

I was never limited to only piano. I was required to take piano, but also was given the choice of other instruments. I played violin for a number of years as well, and then tried sax and guitar too. It was not a one instrument type of thing in my house, and I don't intend to make my kids do piano to the exclusion of other instruments.

But you also have to remember that I come from a family of musicians (both of my parents were music majors, both taught music, both are excellent singers and pianists), and I am a musician myself, as is Bill (he plays guitar and he *can* sing, though he doesn't), so it is in the blood in this family. My girls are already very good singers for their ages!!! (well, when they sing. Put Anna in front of a crowd and she clams up, lol. Just like I did as a kid) So while I am sure it sounds horrid to some, I think not making them do it would do them a disservice. If they hate it, they can quit-once they have mastered the basics.

daisy · Guru

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

yeah it's going to be tough if my kids seriously hate piano, but i think if they really wanted to play another instrument, i'd let them do that in addition. as long as they stick with piano long enough to fully read music and know their way around keys, i'd be happy wiht that. they dont have to take it as far as i did, but i really do want them to learn it well enough to be piano-literate.

i know a lot of people who super hated piano. that will be a big bummer for me (liek what youre saying about soccer). sigh.

daisy · Guru

Supafly wrote:

daisy wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Michele wrote:

Lauren and Anna will both be in ballet this year. Lauren loved it last year and Anna seems to have a natural gift for it so I'm going to enroll her even though she is only 2. Lauren is begging to take tap too but I'm on the fence about it. I just don't know if she really understands it.

That's about it. Lauren is not a sports person. I considered soccer but she hates being hot and it is so hot here that I know she would quit 5 minutes into playing. Anna would love it but she's too young still.

If we ever move I am planning to move my piano from my mom's house to our new house. I will definately have the girls take lessons. Lauren already is showing a big interest in piano and guitar so I am excited to get her involved in those things when she gets a little older.

OMG I always wished I had taken tap!!! My mom was a big "no overscheduling" type, so I had to choose between that and jazz dance (I already took ballet), and I went with jazz. I always regretted that!!

That and the fact that I didn't practice piano. My mom told me I could either practice or wash dishes. And let me tell you...I can wash dishes like nobody else. I really did myself a disservice by not practicing and putting forth the effort, which is one of the big reasons I intend to force it on my kids, at least until they learn the basics. Definitely one of those "you'll thank me later" types of skills.

you should totally take tap now!! i know tons of adults who do it!

OMG Kelly. Fat girl say NO to that!!!! LMAO!!!!!

LOL! my overweight 68 yr old aunt is currently in tap class and is having the time.of.her.life. i still say do it!

daisy · Guru

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Erin, since I am the one who said I will force them into piano, I will respond by saying on this topic, I really don't care if they hate it. They will be required to play piano and take lessons until they know the basics, as piano is hands down the best way to learn the basics of music. I hope they enjoy it enough to get decent at it, and I don't intend to be mean in my approach about it, but it will not be optional, and if they don't like it, too bad.

I was never limited to only piano. I was required to take piano, but also was given the choice of other instruments. I played violin for a number of years as well, and then tried sax and guitar too. It was not a one instrument type of thing in my house, and I don't intend to make my kids do piano to the exclusion of other instruments.

But you also have to remember that I come from a family of musicians (both of my parents were music majors, both taught music, both are excellent singers and pianists), and I am a musician myself, as is Bill (he plays guitar and he *can* sing, though he doesn't), so it is in the blood in this family. My girls are already very good singers for their ages!!! (well, when they sing. Put Anna in front of a crowd and she clams up, lol. Just like I did as a kid) So while I am sure it sounds horrid to some, I think not making them do it would do them a disservice. If they hate it, they can quit-once they have mastered the basics.

i hadnt even read your post when i responded - you and i seem sooooo totally on the same page with this. i hope our kids dont resent us later, but like you said earlier, it's one of those "they'll thank me later" kinds of things.

Erin · Guru

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Erin, since I am the one who said I will force them into piano, I will respond by saying on this topic, I really don't care if they hate it. They will be required to play piano and take lessons until they know the basics, as piano is hands down the best way to learn the basics of music. I hope they enjoy it enough to get decent at it, and I don't intend to be mean in my approach about it, but it will not be optional, and if they don't like it, too bad.

I was never limited to only piano. I was required to take piano, but also was given the choice of other instruments. I played violin for a number of years as well, and then tried sax and guitar too. It was not a one instrument type of thing in my house, and I don't intend to make my kids do piano to the exclusion of other instruments.

But you also have to remember that I come from a family of musicians (both of my parents were music majors, both taught music, both are excellent singers and pianists), and I am a musician myself, as is Bill (he plays guitar and he *can* sing, though he doesn't), so it is in the blood in this family. My girls are already very good singers for their ages!!! (well, when they sing. Put Anna in front of a crowd and she clams up, lol. Just like I did as a kid) So while I am sure it sounds horrid to some, I think not making them do it would do them a disservice. If they hate it, they can quit-once they have mastered the basics.

I wasnt trying to call anyone out, I should have said, for those "thinking of" instead of saying. It is just coincidence that my experience was piano. My point was that in some instances you can force a kid all you want, but that doesnt make them like it, excel at it, or thank you for it later. I can tell you I took Piano for 8 years and I dont thank my mother for it at all. I actually very much resent that I wasnt able to use that time to do something I really enjoyed. That damn piano sits in my mom's house still. (Do I have issues? maybe...lol.)

Again, just my 2c from another point of view. May not change your mind, and Im not trying to, Im just offering something to think about for when someone's kid really says, awww mom, I hate it. Maybe they really do.

-- Edited by Erin on Friday 21st of August 2009 03:32:40 PM

daisy · Guru

Erin wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Erin, since I am the one who said I will force them into piano, I will respond by saying on this topic, I really don't care if they hate it. They will be required to play piano and take lessons until they know the basics, as piano is hands down the best way to learn the basics of music. I hope they enjoy it enough to get decent at it, and I don't intend to be mean in my approach about it, but it will not be optional, and if they don't like it, too bad.

I was never limited to only piano. I was required to take piano, but also was given the choice of other instruments. I played violin for a number of years as well, and then tried sax and guitar too. It was not a one instrument type of thing in my house, and I don't intend to make my kids do piano to the exclusion of other instruments.

But you also have to remember that I come from a family of musicians (both of my parents were music majors, both taught music, both are excellent singers and pianists), and I am a musician myself, as is Bill (he plays guitar and he *can* sing, though he doesn't), so it is in the blood in this family. My girls are already very good singers for their ages!!! (well, when they sing. Put Anna in front of a crowd and she clams up, lol. Just like I did as a kid) So while I am sure it sounds horrid to some, I think not making them do it would do them a disservice. If they hate it, they can quit-once they have mastered the basics.

I wasnt trying to call anyone out, I should have said, for those "thinking of" instead of saying. It is just coincidence that my experience was piano. My point was that in some instances you can force a kid all you want, but that doesnt make them like it, excel at it, or thank you for it later. I can tell you I took Piano for 8 years and I dont thank my mother for it at all. I actually very much resent that I wasnt able to use that time to do something I really enjoyed. That damn piano sits in my mom's house still. (Do I have issues? maybe...lol.)

Again, just my 2c from another point of view. May not change your mind, but for others it might be something to consider.

8 yrs is definitely a long time to suffer through practicing and lessons.

that must have totally sucked.

i have friends who 100% have had the same experience and don't thank their parents at all. i'll probably be posting when my kids are 8 & 10 "help, they hate piano. do i let them quit?" LOL.

Supafly · Guru

Erin wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Erin, since I am the one who said I will force them into piano, I will respond by saying on this topic, I really don't care if they hate it. They will be required to play piano and take lessons until they know the basics, as piano is hands down the best way to learn the basics of music. I hope they enjoy it enough to get decent at it, and I don't intend to be mean in my approach about it, but it will not be optional, and if they don't like it, too bad.

I was never limited to only piano. I was required to take piano, but also was given the choice of other instruments. I played violin for a number of years as well, and then tried sax and guitar too. It was not a one instrument type of thing in my house, and I don't intend to make my kids do piano to the exclusion of other instruments.

But you also have to remember that I come from a family of musicians (both of my parents were music majors, both taught music, both are excellent singers and pianists), and I am a musician myself, as is Bill (he plays guitar and he *can* sing, though he doesn't), so it is in the blood in this family. My girls are already very good singers for their ages!!! (well, when they sing. Put Anna in front of a crowd and she clams up, lol. Just like I did as a kid) So while I am sure it sounds horrid to some, I think not making them do it would do them a disservice. If they hate it, they can quit-once they have mastered the basics.

I wasnt trying to call anyone out, I should have said, for those "thinking of" instead of saying. It is just coincidence that my experience was piano. My point was that in some instances you can force a kid all you want, but that doesnt make them like it, excel at it, or thank you for it later. I can tell you I took Piano for 8 years and I dont thank my mother for it at all. I actually very much resent that I wasnt able to use that time to do something I really enjoyed. That damn piano sits in my mom's house still. (Do I have issues? maybe...lol.)

Again, just my 2c from another point of view. May not change your mind, and Im not trying to, Im just offering something to think about for when someone's kid really says, awww mom, I hate it. Maybe they really do.

-- Edited by Erin on Friday 21st of August 2009 03:32:40 PM

Yeah, 8 years is too long to force a child to play any instrument if they truly hate it, even though I can see why your mom would do that.

But I come from the flip side of the coin. I honestly don't remember how many years I was forced to take, but I hated practicing so so much that I would beg and plead to quit. Finally, after a number of years, my mom gave in, and I quit. I deeply regret that, and I wish she had pushed me, not only to stick with it, but to practice as I should have too. I hated practicing in front of people and have them hear my mistakes-I have always had a fear of failure and quit things before I have the chance to fail at them-and I wish like nothing else that my mom had just made me do it. But I was writing songs for my mom when I was like 6 and 7. I obviously had the talent to do it, and it was *her* experience of being forced to play as a child that made her *not* force me. (ftr, she is very grateful to her mother for forcing her into it, as it has been a lifelong love for her to play)

You know how on SYTYCD Jeanine said she hated dance as a kid but her mom made her stick with it and she was very grateful? That is totally me. But with piano and without skills because I didn't stick with it, lmao.

So my girls may hate that I force them into it, and they may never appreciate that I did. But I'll risk that over not forcing them into something that might turn out to be a real gift for them later in life.

CoffeeQueen · Guru

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Erin, since I am the one who said I will force them into piano, I will respond by saying on this topic, I really don't care if they hate it. They will be required to play piano and take lessons until they know the basics, as piano is hands down the best way to learn the basics of music. I hope they enjoy it enough to get decent at it, and I don't intend to be mean in my approach about it, but it will not be optional, and if they don't like it, too bad.

I was never limited to only piano. I was required to take piano, but also was given the choice of other instruments. I played violin for a number of years as well, and then tried sax and guitar too. It was not a one instrument type of thing in my house, and I don't intend to make my kids do piano to the exclusion of other instruments.

But you also have to remember that I come from a family of musicians (both of my parents were music majors, both taught music, both are excellent singers and pianists), and I am a musician myself, as is Bill (he plays guitar and he *can* sing, though he doesn't), so it is in the blood in this family. My girls are already very good singers for their ages!!! (well, when they sing. Put Anna in front of a crowd and she clams up, lol. Just like I did as a kid) So while I am sure it sounds horrid to some, I think not making them do it would do them a disservice. If they hate it, they can quit-once they have mastered the basics.

I wasnt trying to call anyone out, I should have said, for those "thinking of" instead of saying. It is just coincidence that my experience was piano. My point was that in some instances you can force a kid all you want, but that doesnt make them like it, excel at it, or thank you for it later. I can tell you I took Piano for 8 years and I dont thank my mother for it at all. I actually very much resent that I wasnt able to use that time to do something I really enjoyed. That damn piano sits in my mom's house still. (Do I have issues? maybe...lol.)

Again, just my 2c from another point of view. May not change your mind, and Im not trying to, Im just offering something to think about for when someone's kid really says, awww mom, I hate it. Maybe they really do.

-- Edited by Erin on Friday 21st of August 2009 03:32:40 PM
Yeah, 8 years is too long to force a child to play any instrument if they truly hate it, even though I can see why your mom would do that.

But I come from the flip side of the coin. I honestly don't remember how many years I was forced to take, but I hated practicing so so much that I would beg and plead to quit. Finally, after a number of years, my mom gave in, and I quit. I deeply regret that, and I wish she had pushed me, not only to stick with it, but to practice as I should have too. I hated practicing in front of people and have them hear my mistakes-I have always had a fear of failure and quit things before I have the chance to fail at them-and I wish like nothing else that my mom had just made me do it. But I was writing songs for my mom when I was like 6 and 7. I obviously had the talent to do it, and it was *her* experience of being forced to play as a child that made her *not* force me. (ftr, she is very grateful to her mother for forcing her into it, as it has been a lifelong love for her to play)

You know how on SYTYCD Jeanine said she hated dance as a kid but her mom made her stick with it and she was very grateful? That is totally me. But with piano and without skills because I didn't stick with it, lmao.

So my girls may hate that I force them into it, and they may never appreciate that I did. But I'll risk that over not forcing them into something that might turn out to be a real gift for them later in life.

I think it would be very telling that after a period of time in that you could tell if your child had talent with it or not. So, to just keep pushing something without seeing any improvement, love or passion for something does not seem like a grand idea to me, but that is me.

It sounded like you had skills from early on that your mother saw in you. I think that is where most parents then push for their children to stick with something.

Rich played violin from age 2- current. He hates it now and will not touch it. He does not regret the years, but does not have a loving feeling when he thinks of them. Sure he was talented and did well. He played in the symphony during college. The minute he could drop it, he did. That kind of is sad to me. I mean he never did it for the love of it. He did it because it was expected of him and could never get out of it. He had a scholarship in college that required him to play in symphony. He played college soccer too and loved that. So, not sure what I am saying really. I see both sides of it, but I think for me I will choose to find something for my child that they have passion and desire for. There is too much in life that we "have to do". So, why create one more thing just because it is impressive. I think every kid hates to practice something at a point in their life. You need to push them many of times to stick with something, but I think there is a clear stopping point that it becomes all about the parents wishes, dreams and no longer about the child and their happiness and spirit. Life is just too damn short for me. I plan to make them miserable in other ways,lol :)

daisy · Guru

CoffeeQueen wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

Supafly wrote:

Erin wrote:

I too like the idea of a " creative art" and a sport. Ballet can be Kiera's creative art for right now. lol.

I did want to offer my unrequested 2c for those who are saying they will force their kids into a sport or art even if its because it will be good for them- ,I HATED piano. I didnt want to take it, I was totally against it, and I faked practicing :himom! As a result, I dont remember a darn thing. I would LOVE to know how to play guitar though. I really wish I had had some input into what intstrument I got to play. I would have been far more motivated.

The flip side of that is that if Kiera hates soccer, I will let her pick something else, as much as it will kill me. lol.

Erin, since I am the one who said I will force them into piano, I will respond by saying on this topic, I really don't care if they hate it. They will be required to play piano and take lessons until they know the basics, as piano is hands down the best way to learn the basics of music. I hope they enjoy it enough to get decent at it, and I don't intend to be mean in my approach about it, but it will not be optional, and if they don't like it, too bad.

I was never limited to only piano. I was required to take piano, but also was given the choice of other instruments. I played violin for a number of years as well, and then tried sax and guitar too. It was not a one instrument type of thing in my house, and I don't intend to make my kids do piano to the exclusion of other instruments.

But you also have to remember that I come from a family of musicians (both of my parents were music majors, both taught music, both are excellent singers and pianists), and I am a musician myself, as is Bill (he plays guitar and he *can* sing, though he doesn't), so it is in the blood in this family. My girls are already very good singers for their ages!!! (well, when they sing. Put Anna in front of a crowd and she clams up, lol. Just like I did as a kid) So while I am sure it sounds horrid to some, I think not making them do it would do them a disservice. If they hate it, they can quit-once they have mastered the basics.

I wasnt trying to call anyone out, I should have said, for those "thinking of" instead of saying. It is just coincidence that my experience was piano. My point was that in some instances you can force a kid all you want, but that doesnt make them like it, excel at it, or thank you for it later. I can tell you I took Piano for 8 years and I dont thank my mother for it at all. I actually very much resent that I wasnt able to use that time to do something I really enjoyed. That damn piano sits in my mom's house still. (Do I have issues? maybe...lol.)

Again, just my 2c from another point of view. May not change your mind, and Im not trying to, Im just offering something to think about for when someone's kid really says, awww mom, I hate it. Maybe they really do.

-- Edited by Erin on Friday 21st of August 2009 03:32:40 PM
Yeah, 8 years is too long to force a child to play any instrument if they truly hate it, even though I can see why your mom would do that.

But I come from the flip side of the coin. I honestly don't remember how many years I was forced to take, but I hated practicing so so much that I would beg and plead to quit. Finally, after a number of years, my mom gave in, and I quit. I deeply regret that, and I wish she had pushed me, not only to stick with it, but to practice as I should have too. I hated practicing in front of people and have them hear my mistakes-I have always had a fear of failure and quit things before I have the chance to fail at them-and I wish like nothing else that my mom had just made me do it. But I was writing songs for my mom when I was like 6 and 7. I obviously had the talent to do it, and it was *her* experience of being forced to play as a child that made her *not* force me. (ftr, she is very grateful to her mother for forcing her into it, as it has been a lifelong love for her to play)

You know how on SYTYCD Jeanine said she hated dance as a kid but her mom made her stick with it and she was very grateful? That is totally me. But with piano and without skills because I didn't stick with it, lmao.

So my girls may hate that I force them into it, and they may never appreciate that I did. But I'll risk that over not forcing them into something that might turn out to be a real gift for them later in life.

I think it would be very telling that after a period of time in that you could tell if your child had talent with it or not. So, to just keep pushing something without seeing any improvement, love or passion for something does not seem like a grand idea to me, but that is me.

It sounded like you had skills from early on that your mother saw in you. I think that is where most parents then push for their children to stick with something.

Rich played violin from age 2- current. He hates it now and will not touch it. He does not regret the years, but does not have a loving feeling when he thinks of them. Sure he was talented and did well. He played in the symphony during college. The minute he could drop it, he did. That kind of is sad to me. I mean he never did it for the love of it. He did it because it was expected of him and could never get out of it. He had a scholarship in college that required him to play in symphony. He played college soccer too and loved that. So, not sure what I am saying really. I see both sides of it, but I think for me I will choose to find something for my child that they have passion and desire for. There is too much in life that we "have to do". So, why create one more thing just because it is impressive. I think every kid hates to practice something at a point in their life. You need to push them many of times to stick with something, but I think there is a clear stopping point that it becomes all about the parents wishes, dreams and no longer about the child and their happiness and spirit. Life is just too damn short for me. I plan to make them miserable in other ways,lol :)

i agree with a lot of what you say here.

i think for me, and this sounds maybe over the top, but as a piano player for 29 yrs this is really how i feel - not enforcing the piano thing would be like never making them read a book bc they didnt feel like it.

i'm not saying my kids have to practice 2 hours a day.

but i think a 30 min piano lesson once a week and maybe 15 min of practice a day, or even every other day, is totally within reason. they dont have to be virtuosos. that's all my parents required of me. i agree that if there's NO skill there, then there's not a huge point in continuing for long, but like i said, i want them to know their way around a piano. not bc it's impressive or something that would personally fulfill ME, but bc i think it's a cognitive process that extends the brain and fine motor skills. it's sort of like wanting them to know another language too. just something you cant really lose on.

but i totally understand music isnt for everyone. i remember hating practicing too. i remember my mom actually telling my teacher that certain pieces were too frustrating for me, and could we move in another direction, etc. it doesnt have to be a high pressure situation, and it was never high pressure for me at all. maybe i didnt enjoy every second of it, but it was never that big of a deal. :dunno