Taking charge of your self confidence

mctex · Guru

RE: Taking charge of your self confidence

daisy · Guru

aw - you guys. i hate to see any one of you feeling this way. if every last one of you was not absolutely exceptional, i wouldnt be wasting my time here.

i dont traditionally struggle with self esteem. i've always felt fine about myself.
you guys know though, i'm having some issues lately with anxiety (that seem to be getting worse, if that's possible) and my self-confidence seems to be sinking a bit.

i just went to the cape to spend some time with my mom, and to get a teeny break from being my kids' one-and-only-source-of-everything.

and it was really helpful.

i realized much of what amy expressed. i need to find myself again, and be less hard on myself. i need a TV in the kitchen. i need to reclaim the tv, and the radio, and my phone behaviors, and reading, and figuring out religion, and excercising, and everything else that can help get me through this SAHM stage before i COMPLETELY lose sight of myself.

i find esteem through creative sources lately - decorating, artsy projects, etc. i find it through funny conversations, and i find it through laying off my kids here and there. we're so on top of each other and we all jsut need a little room. when i give them space, they give me space, and i go to bed feeling better than i do when i "try too hard" to "be everything to them." i use quotes because i dont even really know what that means. but i know the words apply. i'm just drowning in them.

i guess i'm still figuring it all out. i think i need to get worse (anxiety wise) before i get better. i'm taking some steps right now, and hopefully i'll be better grounded shortly. lol.

Dddiii · Guru

apies wrote:

omg, diane.

i am just getting back to reading this thread and your post actually gave me the chills.

i could have typed every word of this. it's like you were in my head.

:hug:

:hug: We'll get there! All I know is I can't keep going on like this so it was pretty much the perfect time in my life for Dorian to start this thread (thanks D!!).

Dddiii · Guru

daisy wrote:

aw - you guys. i hate to see any one of you feeling this way. if every last one of you was not absolutely exceptional, i wouldnt be wasting my time here.

i dont traditionally struggle with self esteem. i've always felt fine about myself.
you guys know though, i'm having some issues lately with anxiety (that seem to be getting worse, if that's possible) and my self-confidence seems to be sinking a bit.

i just went to the cape to spend some time with my mom, and to get a teeny break from being my kids' one-and-only-source-of-everything.

and it was really helpful.

i realized much of what amy expressed. i need to find myself again, and be less hard on myself. i need a TV in the kitchen. i need to reclaim the tv, and the radio, and my phone behaviors, and reading, and figuring out religion, and excercising, and everything else that can help get me through this SAHM stage before i COMPLETELY lose sight of myself.

i find esteem through creative sources lately - decorating, artsy projects, etc. i find it through funny conversations, and i find it through laying off my kids here and there. we're so on top of each other and we all jsut need a little room. when i give them space, they give me space, and i go to bed feeling better than i do when i "try too hard" to "be everything to them." i use quotes because i dont even really know what that means. but i know the words apply. i'm just drowning in them.

i guess i'm still figuring it all out. i think i need to get worse (anxiety wise) before i get better. i'm taking some steps right now, and hopefully i'll be better grounded shortly. lol.

ITU the above in red ( I think a lot of us probably do). I used to think about this all the time but haven't in years. It definitely looks like a good place to start.

gogona · Guru

I wanted to write more on this the other day but I didn't have time.

Anyway, my self confidence or self esteem is fine most of the time. Things that boost my self confidence are achievements at my job, how well I've done in grad school (for example the director at my school told me a few months ago that she hoped I found the classes challenging enough and that she hoped that I was not bored. I was

when I heard it but at the same time it made me feel good that she thought that highly of me), when people complement my parenting style with Christopher, when I see how happy Christopher is with me, my husband also plays a big part in boosting my self esteem: he constantly tells me that I am a great mother and a great wife and often brags about me with his friends and co-workers (I'm glad that he doesn't do it in front of me lmao). My friends in Georgia also often tell me how they look up to me and that boosts my self confidence also.

There have been instances when people that I thought were my good friends turned against me and I started feeling that my achievements and good news started to cause an opposite reaction from them and I often caught them trying to make me look bad in front of others. I started questioning myself and started thinking if I was doing something wrong but Michelle's post opened my eyes and I am starting to understand why that has happened now... I am trying for this kind of stuff not to get to me but that's work in progress

CheleLyn · Senior Member

I haven't read all the replies yet, but this is definately something i really struggle with...but I won't go into bc its something I find completely unacceptable about myself but at the same time don't know how to fix, kwim.

Without having read the other responses yet...I wonder for those who have low self confidence, how much does you relationship, or lack thereof, with your mother affect this aspect of you??

sappy · Guru

CheleLyn wrote:

I haven't read all the replies yet, but this is definately something i really struggle with...but I won't go into bc its something I find completely unacceptable about myself but at the same time don't know how to fix, kwim.

Without having read the other responses yet...I wonder for those who have low self confidence, how much does you relationship, or lack thereof, with your mother affect this aspect of you??

for me - a lot. my relationship with my mother is very unhealthy. i love her - we get along mostly but it's basically a surface relationship because i can't be totally honest with her - she's just too fragile.