We really want to move Ethan and Noah in the same room and let Eli have his own room. It's becoming an issue with him sharing with Noah. The plan is to get bunk beds, hopefully soon.
Ethan goes back and forth on wanting to share and his concerns seem to be that 1) sometimes he likes alone time (fine, I told him he can go in our room if he needs to) and 2) that sharing his toys. He's fine with sharing most of the time. I think the bigger issue is he wants to still feel like he has stuff that's just his and not communal.
So for those with siblings that share, how do you handle the toy thing? Are all toys for both? Do they have a separate storage thing for things that are just theirs? Is it a free-for-all? As much as I encourage sharing, I do want them to feel like they have actual stuff of their own because they are individuals.
We have bunk beds at the apartment, regular beds at the house. They are not allowed on each others beds at all. They are their own spaces. The ONLY time they can be in each others beds is right now when I read books because I can't get my walrus butt off the floor very easily.
Stuffed animals- they don't share those except this one huge one- but those live in their beds or in a hammock over their bed and are theirs alone.
Specific Santa gifts- There is usually one bigger toy that is theirs and their alone. For Koda, his K'Nex and army men kit are his and we make it clear Tristen has to ask permission. For Tristen, technically it is his tag maps- but he could care less about sharing, so it isn't a huge issue.
They aren't stored separately per say, it is just how we do it. All other toys they get are shared (well, except bikes, etc). We also find we buy 2 of a lot of things to make life easier :)
our boys share a room. THe toys in their rooms are "theirs" but thats because those arent fav toys. We have a toy room. If one wants to play with a toy so be it, bt if the other one wants it and it honestly is theirs I make themy give it up. I want them to know somethings are ok not to share if you dont want to. I would have a special box. that each could put their toys in that they dont want to share. Those would be off limits.
ok, that makes sense. I don't think the sharing will be a problem. They are actually really good about it unless a toy is brand new. But I'd like to offer them the option.
Now we just need to find bunk beds. They have affordable ones at walmart. I just wonder about the quality.
ok, that makes sense. I don't think the sharing will be a problem. They are actually really good about it unless a toy is brand new. But I'd like to offer them the option.
Now we just need to find bunk beds. They have affordable ones at walmart. I just wonder about the quality.
those are the ones we have- fair, not forever quality- but plenty sturdy for the boys. I think we got the 199 Mainstay brand or similar a couple years back. Every once in a while we need to tighten the bolts on the ladder, but otherwise, it has help up fine. If you get bunks, ask Sonya on the mattress. I can't remember what she got, but it was WAY easier to make the bed than the heavy mattress we use.
Alyssa - here is just one thought from me. I understand the reason for doing this, and think it is good, but I wonder if waiting a bit may be better for Ethan. I know he loves Dustin and the kids. I just wonder if all this change may affect him with being too much too soon? Will he feel like everything is changed for him?
What is his arrangements at EJ's? Where do the kids all sleep ?
Alyssa - here is just one thought from me. I understand the reason for doing this, and think it is good, but I wonder if waiting a bit may be better for Ethan. I know he loves Dustin and the kids. I just wonder if all this change may affect him with being too much too soon? Will he feel like everything is changed for him?
What is his arrangements at EJ's? Where do the kids all sleep ?
He has his own room at EJ's and Noah and Eli share. Honestly, that is why we didn't do it right from the beginning. I thought it would be too much all at once. But more and more, Noah and Ethan want to be together.
Ethan wants bunk beds so I think he'll be ok with it since it will seem special and new. The biggest thing for him will be maintaining space of his own and if we can ensure he still has that, I think he'll be ok.
Alyssa - here is just one thought from me. I understand the reason for doing this, and think it is good, but I wonder if waiting a bit may be better for Ethan. I know he loves Dustin and the kids. I just wonder if all this change may affect him with being too much too soon? Will he feel like everything is changed for him?
What is his arrangements at EJ's? Where do the kids all sleep ?
He has his own room at EJ's and Noah and Eli share. Honestly, that is why we didn't do it right from the beginning. I thought it would be too much all at once. But more and more, Noah and Ethan want to be together.
Ethan wants bunk beds so I think he'll be ok with it since it will seem special and new. The biggest thing for him will be maintaining space of his own and if we can ensure he still has that, I think he'll be ok.
Can I recommend he get the top bunk and Noah not be allowed up there? Koda LOVED his little area up there, and Tristen never went up top. Just a thought :)
Alyssa - here is just one thought from me. I understand the reason for doing this, and think it is good, but I wonder if waiting a bit may be better for Ethan. I know he loves Dustin and the kids. I just wonder if all this change may affect him with being too much too soon? Will he feel like everything is changed for him?
What is his arrangements at EJ's? Where do the kids all sleep ?
He has his own room at EJ's and Noah and Eli share. Honestly, that is why we didn't do it right from the beginning. I thought it would be too much all at once. But more and more, Noah and Ethan want to be together.
Ethan wants bunk beds so I think he'll be ok with it since it will seem special and new. The biggest thing for him will be maintaining space of his own and if we can ensure he still has that, I think he'll be ok.
Can I recommend he get the top bunk and Noah not be allowed up there? Koda LOVED his little area up there, and Tristen never went up top. Just a thought :)
that is the plan. I'm pretty sure climbing up there on a daily basis would freak Noah out so it works out perfectly.
sort of late to the conversation, but connor and grace share a room and have bunk beds. grace shares everything---that is just her nature. connor will share with grace, but he has a huge issue with sharing with grace's friends (she has a lot of playdates while he is at school) so connor was given a zip up storage bag (those big ones you can put sweaters in??) and anything he puts in that is off limits to others (at this point in life it is his transformer collection). anything not in the bag is fair game.
