oh, one more thing.  We are incredibly liberal in our beliefs, but I recall one sermon around Christmas about the ministers beliefs in what was story and what was real (and it was far too removed from the Christmas story even for us...imagine a history professor who is also your theologian- sometimes the mix just doesn't blend well.  She is a VERY educated woman which works well in this university townh...but it was too much).  It just didn't settle right with Travis even more than me- and I would classify him as barely willing to go to church to begin with.  Everything else had been bothering us, the direction of the sermons caused us to close the door on that church.

Of course everyone in town goes to that church so it is super awkward when we run into people and are invited back again and again.  In that case, I'm sort of glad we are moving.  We still get postcards and letters from them inviting us back all the time.

I've never "not" been in church, but I've changed churches and denominations throughout my life.

Growing up, I changed of course, when my parents changed.  We switched from Presbyterian to Baptist, mainly because of the preacher.  The Presbyterian lost a pastor and it took them FOREVER to find another one, so we started attending the Baptist church just because it was steady.  We stayed there because we really loved the preacher and the people.

When I got married and Kenneth and I joined a church, we switched once we had kids.  The one we were attending was a teeny, tiny country church, with nothing really to do for the kids.  We joined Pisgah, which I love and miss to this day.

Then, when we moved here, we visited a couple of different ones, trying to find our place.

What made us choose First Baptist, was first the preacher.  He preaches strictly from the bible, which is what I believe they're supposed to do, preach from God's word.  Then was the friendliness of the people.    It just felt right.  It took us a while to join, several months, but when we did, we've been happy ever since.  We've had to change SS classes, but still really love the church. 

I didn't fully understand the importance of tithing and the importance of putting God before everything else in my life until the last 10 years or so.  (even though I grew up in church)  Before that, before I fully got the gist of what all that meant, if I'd heard that all the time, it would've driven me away. 

That being said, I don't think churches should leave any of that out of their sermons, it's in the bible, therefore it's important, but for "new" Christians, they need more than that.

Does that make sense?

kris wrote:

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First I will answer Robin's question - this will probably be long and more than you want to know

I did not grow up in a church.  If I went it was b/c my aunt and uncle picked me up and took me with their family on an occasional Sunday. 

As an adult I started attending a church about 12 years ago.  DS1 was 2 years old.  I had been wanting to go to the church but scared to walk in alone with a 2 year old (DH had no interest in going).   The lady who took care of John invited us to come to VBS and I found out it was the same church I'd been wanting to attend so I decided to go.   They had the closing program on a Friday and invited everyone to church Sunday and I went back.  That is how I started going to this church - so, VBS is a wonderful way of inviting people in and making them feel welcomed and loved!

Eventually my husband did start going with us to church.  We were baptised together a couple years later.  

As far as being active we attended Wednesday night dinners and then church afterwards and liked that.  We volunteered at VBS a couple of times (even teaching kids classes when I really did not feel qualified to do so - maybe it was pressure that led to us committing to do that I don't really remember - I clearly should have been a snack hander outter and not someone trying to teach children about Jesus b/c I didn't even know enough at the time to teach anyone!).

What really did not sit well with my husband was that about once a month the preacher preached about giving and money and how we needed to be giving more financially.   A donation for the building project, a regular donation.  It just was too frequent and really turned my husband off.

Another thing that led to us stopping this church was what felt like gossiping or obvious situations where people were talking about us and our family situation.    A lady from the church approached me at a restaurant, we had never met before - she told me that one of the ladies at the church suggested she talk to me about her son b/c I had a son that was "really hard to control" and perhaps I could give her some tips.  That did not sit well with me . . .  nobody talked to me about my "hard to control" son or offered me any tips or thoughts or even any recognition of our parenting hardships with John yet they knew enough to suggest this lady talk to me or seek me out for advice?

We also hit a particularly rough patch in our marriage and learned that there were lots of discussions going on about our situation that were untrue and hurtful.  This, for me, being a "new" Christian was very hard to swallow.  These people were supposed to be people of God and be better and they used my marital problems as fodder over coffee at their scrapbook parties.  Hurtful and honestly turned me off entirely to church for many years.  We stopped attending this church at that point.

Now . . .having said that last paragraph and being where I am now I realize that being a Christian does not make life easy.  everyone sins and falls short.  what they did was not right but they are human.

soooooooo I'll end this here - this is what got us into church initially and what ended our church going days for many years to come.

sorry its so long.

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 I have some thoughts on this paragraph.

I don't know because I wasn't there and I don't know these people's hearts or there intentions, but I know that people used to aggravate the snot out of me by doing this too.  People I didn't know would come over and offer advice, ask for advice or whatever about Presley's condition.  I wondered why these people were talking about our family and sticking their nose in our business. 

Then I realized, maybe they really do care and maybe they really do want to help or get my advice on things.  I tried to let go of the thinking that they were talking about me or whatever, and tried to focus on maybe God laid this on their hearts to come to me.  Maybe those people were sitting around talking and they said "you know, Jennifer Sones is in the same situation you are, maybe you should ask her how she handles it"

Now, I'm not saying this is what you should've done or said, because I don't know the situation, they very well could've been gossiping.  But, I'm hoping they weren't

What made you decide to finally become members of the church you're at now?

ETA: As far as the gossip about your marital problems, that was wrong, wrong, wrong.  But, you have to remember, even the devil is at church

apies wrote:

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hahahahaha. nothing makes my day better than reading melissa posting from an ipad.

robin, i just started attending a church. if you want, i can tell you what helped me decide it was a good fit for me/us.

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 Yes, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Robin, I'm curious

What made your brother leave the church he grew up in?

Juanita wrote:

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CoffeeQueen wrote:

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Jen - question. When you say putting God before everything else. To what extent and who determines this? I always get hung up on this honestly. I feel like I can have a relationship with God and put him first, but to me, that does not mean also at the cost of raising my children. Does God want me to not see my kids? I personally would not think so. So, if someone belongs to a church, but cannot be as active as a member as some of the others. Is that person not putting God first? I feel like that is where it all gets a bit icky for me if you will.

I feel like what is preached and what is needed do not always match. Most of the church stuff if you will are man made activities, etc. So, to me that is not really what it is all about. One can give and be active in many areas of their life and not in the church per say. What are your thoughts on this?

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 For me, (and this is just what I've learned for me), it's not about being as active in the church as others.    That's not what putting God first means to me.  It means putting my time with God above everything else.  For example, the very first thing I do in the morning is get in his word and pray.  I have my time with him first, then I deal with my kids, husband and whatever else.  It just makes my day go smoother.  What I do in the church has not a single thing to do with my relationship with God (in my opinion).  I don't do a lot in the church, we work in the nursery, Kenneth helped in VBS this summer, but that's not near as much as what others do..however, I believe it's all we're called to do right now.  God knows our hearts, he knows what we can or can't do and he makes a way for all of that. 

So, I 100% agree with you..you can give and be active in many ways, and not take away from your kids.  That is definitely what the Lord wants you to do

Did that make sense?  I'm in total agreement with what you said about your involvement in church.

-- Edited by Juanita on Tuesday 24th of January 2012 08:48:27 AM

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 ok, that is what I thought you meant, but was not sure. 

that is the one problem I have with organized religion. It is all the  man made rules and pressure. I feel like I am always being asked to attend, give, help and it is just too much for me at this stage in my life. So, it makes me want to pull back. It is not anything to do with my beliefs or spiritual relationship. However, I think that does turn people off these days. I have heard this from a few friends.

CoffeeQueen wrote:

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Juanita wrote:

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CoffeeQueen wrote:

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Jen - question. When you say putting God before everything else. To what extent and who determines this? I always get hung up on this honestly. I feel like I can have a relationship with God and put him first, but to me, that does not mean also at the cost of raising my children. Does God want me to not see my kids? I personally would not think so. So, if someone belongs to a church, but cannot be as active as a member as some of the others. Is that person not putting God first? I feel like that is where it all gets a bit icky for me if you will.

I feel like what is preached and what is needed do not always match. Most of the church stuff if you will are man made activities, etc. So, to me that is not really what it is all about. One can give and be active in many areas of their life and not in the church per say. What are your thoughts on this?

---

 For me, (and this is just what I've learned for me), it's not about being as active in the church as others.    That's not what putting God first means to me.  It means putting my time with God above everything else.  For example, the very first thing I do in the morning is get in his word and pray.  I have my time with him first, then I deal with my kids, husband and whatever else.  It just makes my day go smoother.  What I do in the church has not a single thing to do with my relationship with God (in my opinion).  I don't do a lot in the church, we work in the nursery, Kenneth helped in VBS this summer, but that's not near as much as what others do..however, I believe it's all we're called to do right now.  God knows our hearts, he knows what we can or can't do and he makes a way for all of that. 

So, I 100% agree with you..you can give and be active in many ways, and not take away from your kids.  That is definitely what the Lord wants you to do

Did that make sense?  I'm in total agreement with what you said about your involvement in church.

-- Edited by Juanita on Tuesday 24th of January 2012 08:48:27 AM

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 ok, that is what I thought you meant, but was not sure. 

that is the one problem I have with organized religion. It is all the  man made rules and pressure. I feel like I am always being asked to attend, give, help and it is just too much for me at this stage in my life. So, it makes me want to pull back. It is not anything to do with my beliefs or spiritual relationship. However, I think that does turn people off these days. I have heard this from a few friends.

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 I've said this a gazillion times, I could give a rats butt about organized religion..that's NOT what Jesus wants, he wants a relationship with us, so I totally agree with the man made crap.

There are some things they do that's biblical, tithing, praying, reading God's word,  etc...I agree with all that, but as far as the "rules" they make up, ICK on that!

Attendance to me is very important.  I believe God wants us in church, with other believers.  I *need* that refreshment each week.   When I don't go to church, my week isn't nearly as good as when I go and get recharged.   And I'm pretty simple in my thinking.  Jesus felt like it was important to go to temple, so that's good enough for me, lol. 

However, I don't want a church that makes me feel like crap if I don't go to church every Sunday (which I don't sometimes), so don't pressure me and make me feel bad if I miss a Sunday or two.  But on the same token, if I DO miss a few Sundays in a row, I like for someone (and this is where SS class is important for me) to at least check and see if we're okay.

First I will answer Robin's question - this will probably be long and more than you want to know

I did not grow up in a church.  If I went it was b/c my aunt and uncle picked me up and took me with their family on an occasional Sunday. 

As an adult I started attending a church about 12 years ago.  DS1 was 2 years old.  I had been wanting to go to the church but scared to walk in alone with a 2 year old (DH had no interest in going).   The lady who took care of John invited us to come to VBS and I found out it was the same church I'd been wanting to attend so I decided to go.   They had the closing program on a Friday and invited everyone to church Sunday and I went back.  That is how I started going to this church - so, VBS is a wonderful way of inviting people in and making them feel welcomed and loved!

Eventually my husband did start going with us to church.  We were baptised together a couple years later.  

As far as being active we attended Wednesday night dinners and then church afterwards and liked that.  We volunteered at VBS a couple of times (even teaching kids classes when I really did not feel qualified to do so - maybe it was pressure that led to us committing to do that I don't really remember - I clearly should have been a snack hander outter and not someone trying to teach children about Jesus b/c I didn't even know enough at the time to teach anyone!).

What really did not sit well with my husband was that about once a month the preacher preached about giving and money and how we needed to be giving more financially.   A donation for the building project, a regular donation.  It just was too frequent and really turned my husband off.

Another thing that led to us stopping this church was what felt like gossiping or obvious situations where people were talking about us and our family situation.    A lady from the church approached me at a restaurant, we had never met before - she told me that one of the ladies at the church suggested she talk to me about her son b/c I had a son that was "really hard to control" and perhaps I could give her some tips.  That did not sit well with me . . .  nobody talked to me about my "hard to control" son or offered me any tips or thoughts or even any recognition of our parenting hardships with John yet they knew enough to suggest this lady talk to me or seek me out for advice?

We also hit a particularly rough patch in our marriage and learned that there were lots of discussions going on about our situation that were untrue and hurtful.  This, for me, being a "new" Christian was very hard to swallow.  These people were supposed to be people of God and be better and they used my marital problems as fodder over coffee at their scrapbook parties.  Hurtful and honestly turned me off entirely to church for many years.  We stopped attending this church at that point.

Now . . .having said that last paragraph and being where I am now I realize that being a Christian does not make life easy.  everyone sins and falls short.  what they did was not right but they are human.

soooooooo I'll end this here - this is what got us into church initially and what ended our church going days for many years to come.

sorry its so long.