I'm feeling so sad for Mark. He was crying this morning because he didn't want to go to school, and just a few minutes ago he was crying in bed because he doesn't want to go to school tomorrow.
He's such a sweetheart, and I hate that something is bothering him about school. Why can't my boys just love school like I did? Is that so much to ask?
Sigh.
I tried to get Mark to tell me what was wrong but he just said something about how it's all so boring.
Reading still hasn't clicked with him, and his homework folder said to go over the sight words so it's possible he's embarrassed about that. I just don't know how to make it click with him. Also he got hurt at school today--nothing major--so he was bummed about that.
I emailed his teacher, sweetest lady on the planet, to tell her Mark was having some issues.
i wish i had good advice. or any advice really. i feel sad for him.
caroline is going through something similar and school hasn't even started yet. she gets super anxious and doesn't want to talk at all when we even mention school or 1st grade.
Robin, I am so sorry to see this. Mark is so creative and a really good kid. School is hard and while they need to go, it's also hard. As for the sight words, I know Elizabeth likes a game we have played with them. I used sticky notes and wrote a sight word on each one. I called out one of the words and then Elizabeth had to grab it and run it to another wall and stick it up there. If you have tried something like this, never mind. It also may not be up Mark's alley. I hope things start getting better for him soon.
Sorry that Mark is feeling this way. I'm curious, and I can't remember if I should know this already, but did he like K any better? Does he have any of the same friends in his new class as last year?
I have trouble with Joe every morning but with him it's just cause he is super lazy and just wants to stay home all day every day and play and watch tv, he enjoys it when he is there though.
Robin, I've been thinking about this a lot this morning (don't ask why I've been up since 3:30...but it has given me lots of quiet time).
The past two years as part of my job, we've transitioned to Strengthsquest (How Full is Your Bucket, lots of variations of the same idea).
Anyway- the principle of it comes down to this: When you come home with a report card, what is the first thing people comment on? Often, it is the class someone is failing. What if what we focused on was the A? What is we built on our strengths- which will make us happy and confident, and everything else will follow?
I think Koda might be a lot like Mark. Reading just isn't coming to him yet. Tristen is pretty much reading. Koda knows his letters, but can't quite get that letter sounds work together to make words. We've decided not to focus on it (phonics/site words) since it only reinforces daily what he can't do. We read out loud constantly, which he loves, we read trail signs together when we go on hikes, we read menus at restaraunts. BUT, we don't practice site words. Or do workbooks. He almost shrivels when we make it formal. He doesn't see it as his strength. So we encourage him in the areas that are. He recently started riding his bike without training wheels. Before that one day, that one moment- he was horrible on his bike. Not even close. We talked with Koda that reading might be like that for him. That is was important, that he WILL learn, but it will come.
I won't go crazy on my soap box about school standards, but not every kid should have this built in expectation to be reading by Christmas of K or by the beginning of 1. It is a false expectation, and only makes kids who have different strengths- different learning styles- made to feel inadequate.
I think Mark is brilliant. He seems so creative and compassionate. He will read when he is ready. Maybe in the meanwhile, let him make art work and have him tell you a story to go with it that you write out next to it. His teacher has to focus on standards- she feels pressure from the school/district/state. But you can nurture the rest. If he feels confident that he is amazing at crafts, or this and that- he will be self confident to take a risk in trying to read (something that might just not come naturally)
This was too long. Sorry. It just struck a cord with me. It is exactly how we've had to shuffle our own thoughts and expectations for Koda, and is what I spend way too many hours in work training that past few weeks talking about :)
(hope I didn't sound preachy. seriously. not my intent)
i'm sorry it's a struggle robin. have you tried the leapfrog talking words factory? i let a friend borrow it whose 1st grader was having trouble with sight words, and it helped him too (and i never got it back - lol) - i'm about to order another for cara.
my friend also ended up hiring a reading tutor because the reading thing was really destroying his confidence and his willingness to go to school at all.
i wish i had good advice. or any advice really. i feel sad for him.
caroline is going through something similar and school hasn't even started yet. she gets super anxious and doesn't want to talk at all when we even mention school or 1st grade.
I hate that Caroline is anxious about starting back to school.
Henry has more anxiety issues than Mark but he's doing pretty well (aside from the bus).
Robin, I am so sorry to see this. Mark is so creative and a really good kid. School is hard and while they need to go, it's also hard. As for the sight words, I know Elizabeth likes a game we have played with them. I used sticky notes and wrote a sight word on each one. I called out one of the words and then Elizabeth had to grab it and run it to another wall and stick it up there. If you have tried something like this, never mind. It also may not be up Mark's alley. I hope things start getting better for him soon.
That's a good idea to make it into a game. I'll try that.
Plus find some other games. He loves when Glen or I play with him.
Sorry that Mark is feeling this way. I'm curious, and I can't remember if I should know this already, but did he like K any better? Does he have any of the same friends in his new class as last year?
I have trouble with Joe every morning but with him it's just cause he is super lazy and just wants to stay home all day every day and play and watch tv, he enjoys it when he is there though.
Honestly Mark didn't want to go to school last year either. He'd rather be glued to my side. He always ended up having a good day.
Crying about going to school, especially the night before, is new.
Yes, one of his best friends is in his class this year.
I got a reply from Mark's teacher, and she was real sweet about it. She said she'd keep an eye on him, and she said maybe he could draw a picture of what was bothering him, and she hoped it wasn't her.
Robin, I've been thinking about this a lot this morning (don't ask why I've been up since 3:30...but it has given me lots of quiet time).
The past two years as part of my job, we've transitioned to Strengthsquest (How Full is Your Bucket, lots of variations of the same idea).
Anyway- the principle of it comes down to this: When you come home with a report card, what is the first thing people comment on? Often, it is the class someone is failing. What if what we focused on was the A? What is we built on our strengths- which will make us happy and confident, and everything else will follow?
I think Koda might be a lot like Mark. Reading just isn't coming to him yet. Tristen is pretty much reading. Koda knows his letters, but can't quite get that letter sounds work together to make words. We've decided not to focus on it (phonics/site words) since it only reinforces daily what he can't do. We read out loud constantly, which he loves, we read trail signs together when we go on hikes, we read menus at restaraunts. BUT, we don't practice site words. Or do workbooks. He almost shrivels when we make it formal. He doesn't see it as his strength. So we encourage him in the areas that are. He recently started riding his bike without training wheels. Before that one day, that one moment- he was horrible on his bike. Not even close. We talked with Koda that reading might be like that for him. That is was important, that he WILL learn, but it will come.
I won't go crazy on my soap box about school standards, but not every kid should have this built in expectation to be reading by Christmas of K or by the beginning of 1. It is a false expectation, and only makes kids who have different strengths- different learning styles- made to feel inadequate.
I think Mark is brilliant. He seems so creative and compassionate. He will read when he is ready. Maybe in the meanwhile, let him make art work and have him tell you a story to go with it that you write out next to it. His teacher has to focus on standards- she feels pressure from the school/district/state. But you can nurture the rest. If he feels confident that he is amazing at crafts, or this and that- he will be self confident to take a risk in trying to read (something that might just not come naturally)
This was too long. Sorry. It just struck a cord with me. It is exactly how we've had to shuffle our own thoughts and expectations for Koda, and is what I spend way too many hours in work training that past few weeks talking about :)
(hope I didn't sound preachy. seriously. not my intent)
Jenn, what a fantastic post.
I agree wholeheartedly.
I think it's going to be hard to let go of society's expectations for those areas where my girls don't have strengths. But once you accept the premise that everyone has valuable, marketable strengths - and it's our goal as parents to help them discover where those authentically lie, as opposed to trying to help them "create" them where we think they ought to be - it becomes a whole lot easier.
(I interviewed with - and eventually got an offer from - Gallup Consulting, and the strengths-finder is a large part of their consulting offering. LOVE the product, and the thinking. BTW, I'm Maximizer/Individualization/Achiever/Strategic/Arranger. I think that maximizer part makes it really easy for me to buy into the logic of all of this, LOL)
I'm worried that Mason is going to be like that when he starts year 2 of kindy in a couple of weeks. :/
My friend Kimberly told me that many kids get that way once first grade starts because it's so much more brain work and desk work than K.
No more playtime.
Yeah, what Jenn said, and this, too.
Sitting at a desk all day when you're used to playing does suck - don't I know it!
So the other commentary - about strengths - should be taken with a huge grain of salt. It might be that in 5th grade he will LOVE school, and traditional academic pursuits will be right in his powerhouse, you know?
Tex- We JUST had gallup out here doing our training. Dang it, if you had taken the job it could have been you :)
I'm Achiever, Learner, Relator, developer, strategic. We could pretty much stop at the Achiever description.
That would've been awesome! That's the part of the job I would've LOVED.
That totally sounds like you. And I can see why your career would be 1) satisfying and 2) frustrating all at the same time. :)
We did the Strengths Finder at work, but through our agency - who ripped off Gallup and claimed it as their own. I almost called Gallup and told them, LOL. I'm glad we did, though... it allowed me to figure out some coworkers that would've been a little troublesome otherwise, and highlight where I'm different than the rest of my team.
I'll admit, it was a boost to my ego when the agency that developed the test wanted to hire me, LOL. I figured that must be a good thing. (Or a bad thing, depending on what they're looking for...)
i took a ton of paint samples from walmart and wrote the sight words on them. (not that you couldn't just use regular paper, but i heart paint samples). anyways, you know those fridge magnet word packs people have where you can form a sentence using words? we use the sight words to make funny sentences just like that game. connor loves it.
i took a ton of paint samples from walmart and wrote the sight words on them. (not that you couldn't just use regular paper, but i heart paint samples). anyways, you know those fridge magnet word packs people have where you can form a sentence using words? we use the sight words to make funny sentences just like that game. connor loves it.
Robin - I am sorry he is having a hard time. Gavin hasn't started yet but I'm hoping it's okay. I know it's going to be a big transition for him to go all day long and especially eating lunch at school. He is a super slow eater and picky so I hope it just all works out for him quickly.
