A couple of weeks ago one of the boys in Joe's class asked him if he wanted to grab breakfast in the cafeteria before school started. Joe told me and I said that it was ok that he did that that one time but that I didn't want him to do it again because he ate breakfast at home already before he went. I found out at the weekend he has been going almost every morning for breakfast, even though I had asked him not to.
We manage his lunch money account online and top it up when it gets low in funds. I only found out that he had been going for breakfast because I can look at the meal history and saw that he had spent $21 in the last 7 days! He has been getting 2 entrees and a Jamba juice , so although breakfast is only supposed to cost $1.25 it had been coming to way more than that $4.50 on one of the days.
So I explained to him that he was not allowed to go for breakfast and that he was only allowed to buy lunch twice a week because I didn't want to have to put more funds in again before school finishes in 7 weeks. I sat down with him and explained what he was allowed to choose from at lunch (1 entree, 1 milk, then something from the fruit/salad bar). I also changed his meal controls on his online account so that he could only spend $4/day max.
Then this morning he said that he forgot yesterday that he shouldn't go for breakfast and that he had had it (despite me nagging at him all weekend - I'm seriously bored with the sound of my own voice lately). So I asked him what he had had for lunch yesterday since he will have not had enough credit for the day left for him to have bought lunch and he said that he had had something but he couldn't remember what :eyeroll I seriously feel like I have explained this thing to death to him. This morning he was on the verge of tears cause he said he didn't understand what he was allowed to have when he went to the cafeteria - shouldn't they have explained this stuff to the kindergarteners at the start of the year? And then he was teary cause he said he was 'so hungry' even though I had made him his breakfast 30 minutes before and he had left half of it (cause he apparently was all full up then) and that he needed to go for breakfast at school. Today was a day when I had packed his lunch for him so I said that I had packed him lots and that when he got to school he could have something out of his lunch.
So my question is am I being to tough to say he can't have breakfast at school? It won't break the bank but he eats breakfast at home already so I don't see why he should need to. Also what is the point of me setting a daily allowance if they are going to feed him at lunch anyhow, we didn't get charged for it but how will he learn his lesson not to use up his lunch allowance at breakfast? Am I expecting too much for him to know what his limits are?
I have no advice but have you tried talking to his teacher? Also I know at Lucas' school if the kids don't come with lunch or money they get a milk, pb&j, and an apple. So maybe his school has a similar program that fed him even though he didn't have enough money in his account,
i dont think its petty. Honestly if you serve breakfast at home I would say that is your meal and even start packing him a lunch and remove money from the account if necessary.
Lucy I'm totally laughing because my boys did this too. I let them go once and come to find out that they were going every day. We told them that they could only go when they asked specifically so we'd let them go once every 2 weeks or so. It's a totL social scene in there so I guess you can be happy that Joe wants to be social. LOL. Just remind him many times in the morning to eat all of his breakfast so be won't get hungry before lunch. Do you drive him to school? If so you can start taking him closer to the time school starts so he doesn't have time to get breakfast. Also....if it were me, I would ask the lunch lady to tell my kids that they are not allowed to buy breakfast. She knows my boys well enough to spot them. I'm guessing you lunch person knows Joe by now too. LOL. He or she might not be OK with doing that but mine would. It's worth asking.
I have no idea what Gavin's school does because they don't do lunch yet. Not until next year. They get milk and they bring their own snack from home but that is it. I am surprised that they expect kindergarteners to manage all of that, honestly. I would talk with the school to figure it out. I (personally) think that is a pretty big expectation for a 5 year old to remember how much money can be spent and how many of each item they can get. Every school that I've been at they have a set price and go through the lunch line. You can get everything but don't have to but it's the same price so there aren't any issues. I think at this point it would be easier to say no breakfast and talk to the school about that and tell them he isn't able to do breakfast. I'd also be inclined to say no hot lunch either just to make it easier to remember. This is tough though. I would be frustrated as well.
Kristi, you are funny. You give me hope that I will be in the position one day to look back and laugh at all the dilemma situations Joe puts me through. I don't know who his lunch lady is since I've never been to have lunch with him yet - I'm thinking tomorrow is going to be the day though. He gets the bus to school so usually gets there just as the gates open so he has 20 minutes to kill. I don't even know if he eats the stuff he gets since he seems to be eating constantly (breakfast at home at 7am, breakfast at school at 8.30am, lunch at 10.50am, snack at 2pm).
Juni he said that there is some sort of chart up that says what they can have for their combo but he still forgot (he is a super smart kid though and I can't really believe that he didn't understand it or remember it, he remembers everything). Then they have a la carte stuff which works great since he can just go get a milk/juice if I didn't have one to send with him.
I think I am going to go for lunch with him tomorrow just so I can make sure he understands what is going on and then I will explain again about how there is enough in his account for 3 lunches or breakfasts a week and that when his funds are gone they are gone and he will be left packing a lunch for the rest of the year. I love that there is a system in place that if he was without a lunch for whatever reason that they wouldn't leave him hungry but when he is putting himself into that situation it doesn't do him any favors.
Lucy, I wonder if he is buying his friend's lunch? I think the social aspect is totally starting at this age, and there are lots of factors in play, including them starting to push boundaries. (And if he is anything like Kiera, some of the confusion is real, some is put on). I would tell him the rules, and let him know you will be speaking to his teacher about the rules. Then tell her or the lunch lady no breakfasts.
Just curious because it does not work like that in the schools here in Michigan. However, what struck me odd was why all of a sudden in April when the school year is over does he not get how it works? I think he just wants to go and it distracting you with that? I have never heard of lunch programs working like that on such a young level. Here only HS work like that.
I just had this very same conversation with my 15 year old this morning when he asked me for lunch money . . . um, I just put $30 into your account 7 days ago. I go look at his account online and he has been spending $4.75 a day for lunch. School lunch is $2.15!
I don't mind him doing the a la carte line a couple of times a week but dude, I'm not spending $5 on your lunch every single day!
So, this might be a battle you get ahold of now but will eventually rear its ugly head again
Melissa, I think this came up now because he didn't even know before 2 weeks ago that they served breakfast and before he was spending the ~$3 extra every other day I didn't know/mind if he was getting an extra couple bits at lunch (like if he wanted to add a cookie or an extra milk). But yes I think you are partially right with trying to distract me with pretending to not know something. A few times lately if he is being told off about something he will switch it round and start saying that we think he is stupid or dumb (we don't use those words in this house). Funny whenever I talk to the moms that help out in his class they always tell me about how quickly he grasps the concept of whatever problem or concept they are dealing with.
Kris, sorry you are going through this too. I wonder sometimes if I'm not exposing him to making money decisions enough.
Lucy, I do NOT think you are being mean to prohibit him from breakfast. Absolutely not!!! Honestly, I am surprised that the cafeteria/school allows such young children that much freedom in the lunch room.
I would not allow Anna to buy breakfast. She knows they serve it, and I have told her it is for kids whose parents work and they don't have time to eat at home.
As for lunch, here they allow K one choice for the first half of the year. After that, they have a choice of the 2 different entrees or there is a "meal" they can have which consists on yogurt and fruit and something else-I forget. And there is a pre-made salad option. There is no a la carte for K. Period. (except for milk, which bag lunch buyers can buy) There is a lot of hand holding going on with that age group for sure. As well there should be!!!! Anna buys once a week-we go through the menu and she picks which day sounds good.
But never breakfast. I am not paying extra for that!!!
(oh and if they don't have money in their account and no lunch, they get a jelly sandwich here)
-- Edited by Supafly on Thursday 14th of April 2011 07:25:40 PM
I had no idea how this lunch/breakfast account stuff worked here in Fl when we first got here. I thought the parent had to set up an account and put money in it in order to get something. I would send Madi with money(cash) once in a while for her to get something since I "thought" she did not have an account. Foolish mommy!!!! She started coming home with "pink slips" (bills) for snacks that she was charging. We send her with lunch. At first, she really didn't have any idea that we have to pay for it. When I asked her about it she would tell me, " I tell them a number and they just give it to me." What makes me mad is that she is 5 and making decisions about her lunch without our permission. I can't believe that they would allow this! The kids should not be able to buy snacks if their parents did not set up an account, especially a 5 year old!
I had no idea how this lunch/breakfast account stuff worked here in Fl when we first got here. I thought the parent had to set up an account and put money in it in order to get something. I would send Madi with money(cash) once in a while for her to get something since I "thought" she did not have an account. Foolish mommy!!!! She started coming home with "pink slips" (bills) for snacks that she was charging. We send her with lunch. At first, she really didn't have any idea that we have to pay for it. When I asked her about it she would tell me, " I tell them a number and they just give it to me." What makes me mad is that she is 5 and making decisions about her lunch without our permission. I can't believe that they would allow this! The kids should not be able to buy snacks if their parents did not set up an account, especially a 5 year old!
I actually am in awe at all the schools that have this whole account thing. It seems crazy to me for young kids to have access to any food they want or however much they want. Here that does not happen till high school.
I had no idea how this lunch/breakfast account stuff worked here in Fl when we first got here. I thought the parent had to set up an account and put money in it in order to get something. I would send Madi with money(cash) once in a while for her to get something since I "thought" she did not have an account. Foolish mommy!!!! She started coming home with "pink slips" (bills) for snacks that she was charging. We send her with lunch. At first, she really didn't have any idea that we have to pay for it. When I asked her about it she would tell me, " I tell them a number and they just give it to me." What makes me mad is that she is 5 and making decisions about her lunch without our permission. I can't believe that they would allow this! The kids should not be able to buy snacks if their parents did not set up an account, especially a 5 year old!
I actually am in awe at all the schools that have this whole account thing. It seems crazy to me for young kids to have access to any food they want or however much they want. Here that does not happen till high school.
I actually think the account itself is nice to have. No one has to worry about remembering to bring money when they want to buy lunch-so I like the option of that.
But free access to anything they want??? That is nuts!!! Around here, the parent has to set up the account in order for a child to buy anything in the lunch room, including milk. They will not give a child anything unless that account has been set up by the parents. And as I mentioned, the options are less for younger kids-they don't have total freedom to choose whatever they want until later. I would be so upset if our school did things like yours, Joyce! It is just too much freedom for little ones-IDT they really know how to manage that!
