ive always liked this school, but ever since we made the transition over to the actual school side, i've been very frustrated.
i feel like i don't understand how things are supposed to work, that the kids are not being adequately supervised and that the school, or the teacher, expect corene to be responsible for a whole lot of crap that even *i* don't know about so htf am i supposed to help her???
argh! i'm really frustrated and trying not to be a bitch to the teacher bcuz i think we just have a communication problem.
ex: i have to sign the communication folder everyday. (a tedious and mundane task, i might add). well last week it didn't make it home for two days. dad prolly didn't know to look for it and i saw it in the morning in her cubby. so ms.teacher writes in the book that i need to sign it everyday. and i write that it did not make it home for two days. she replies "they were sent everyday" so i write back that it was in the cubby and idk why it wasn't in the bookbag and asked who was responsible for making sure the folders go home.
c has said that the big kids give them their folders.
so today in the book ms.teacher wrote that c is supposed to put her folder in her bookbag every night and "this is how they learn responsibility."
WTF
that might be true, but damn do you have to be such a bitch?
c's cubby is a hot mess, i found a caprisun in there, there are papers on the bottom, her lunch tupperware sometimes ends up behind the nap mat, etc.
so i'm totally ok with the kids are learning to put their own stuff away bcuz they do anyway. but i also don't think that its reasonable to expect them to do all of these things independently after just a few weeks? why is her stuff all over her cubby? who gives the kids the paperwork?
and i don't like that the "big kids" (teenagers) are the ones supervising meals, recess, etc all.the.time. as far as i can tell, they are primarily responsible for that stuff.
and its not an issue of i don't trust them, but they lack the knowledge base to be in charge of making sure the kids are eating, getting clean, etc.
sje keeps coming home with capri-sun all over her stinkin lunchbag cuz she put it in there w/juice still in it and she puts all her trash back in it. she wasn't before and the only explanation she can provide to me is that she doesn't have time to throw her trash away.
i feel like anytime i'm confused about something i have to get an answer from her and idt i should have as many questions as i do. and i still really feel like they are asking a lot of the kids. just bcuz they are expected to be responsible for their own things doesn't mean that there shouldn't be someone ensuring that those things take place- they are only 5!
i'm really trying hard with ms.teacher but today after her nastygram i wrote in there that i want a conference, but i think i will try to email her instead. i don't see a conference going well given my tendencies to get carried away when i'm frustrated.
so- am i off the mark here? am i wrong? advice? i wasn't expecting kindergarten to be this difficult.
I think that if there is that much confusion then a conference is definitely in order and any teacher worth her/his salt (is that a saying?) would be happy to make the time for a parent so that things go smoother for you and her.
I understand that they are teaching responsibility but in Kindergarten, along with being expected to do things themselves, they should also be reminded by the adult in charge a hundred times a day. Well this is how I've seen it done anyway. Of course a 5yo isn't going to remember to put said folder in her backpack at the end of every day without being reminded.
Good luck, I don't think you should email because I think there will just be more mis-communication. Go see her in person. Maybe you'll scare her enough that she'll quit bugging you.
umm if this were a private school IDT Id keep her there, but Im an overreactor. YOur a consumer and well the product better be worth it. Being dealt with like that wouldnt make me happy.
At Ks school the teacher hands the parents any homework when we pick them up. And we get papers back handed to us in a folder on Friday only and we have to sign it and give it back monday.
I think that if there is that much confusion then a conference is definitely in order and any teacher worth her/his salt (is that a saying?) would be happy to make the time for a parent so that things go smoother for you and her.
I understand that they are teaching responsibility but in Kindergarten, along with being expected to do things themselves, they should also be reminded by the adult in charge a hundred times a day. Well this is how I've seen it done anyway. Of course a 5yo isn't going to remember to put said folder in her backpack at the end of every day without being reminded.
Good luck, I don't think you should email because I think there will just be more mis-communication. Go see her in person. Maybe you'll scare her enough that she'll quit bugging you.
I totally agree!
They are supposed to be learning responsibility, but at the same time, THEY'RE FIVE YEARS OLD!
good point re: communication. i just feel a bit like a douche for saying i want a conference because i am working every day this week and its going to be difficult to fit that in before next week.
i agree. i feel like they need to follow up on what they ask the kids to do. and do more supervising so the kids aren't just doing whatever.
of course, i also noticed that i'm one of the only parents that walks their kid into the building, so maybe i don't expect as much of c as i should. that said, i'm not interested in her just hopping out of the car and going to school.
and c is rarely helpful in explaining what she is supposed to do but i think that she does know, she just acts like she doesnt when i ask her.
I definitely think a conference is a good idea. But I also think that maybe there is a misunderstanding in her tone. I can see how it would seem bitchy but I can also see it as her just trying to explain *why* she does things the way she does.
FWIW - ITU the frustration with working and having someone else involved in the drop off/pick up and other dealings with the teacher. I email her quite a bit for day to day things that I just don't know about.
I'm a little confused though about teenagers supervising. What do you mean?
good point re: communication. i just feel a bit like a douche for saying i want a conference because i am working every day this week and its going to be difficult to fit that in before next week.
i agree. i feel like they need to follow up on what they ask the kids to do. and do more supervising so the kids aren't just doing whatever.
of course, i also noticed that i'm one of the only parents that walks their kid into the building, so maybe i don't expect as much of c as i should. that said, i'm not interested in her just hopping out of the car and going to school.
and c is rarely helpful in explaining what she is supposed to do but i think that she does know, she just acts like she doesnt when i ask her.
i miss preschool
Ugh. See, that was me too. I talked to the office about their expectations and they said that they need parents to go through the drop off line and drop their kids off instead of walking them in. They said that the only time they want parents parking and bringing the kids in is if they are tardy and have you sign the sheet.
So, you never know that the deal is. My mom was totally pissed and didn't understand why people would drop off kids instead of walking them in and I explained that is just the school's policy - to keep the parking lot safer for the kids getting off the bus and for the buses to get in and out easily.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that might be the case at your school too but I had no idea about this until I went and asked because I was confused about being the only parent walking him in.
(For us, we registered at a different school and then transferred to his current school so I think some of this was gone over at the enrollment but we didn't do it.)
Also, re: conference - I think it's better for the teacher too to just meet with you and talk about your concerns and questions and get everything figured out instead of going back and forth and escalating miscommunication. I can't imagine she wouldn't want to do that.
I also think you should let her know in an email the purpose of the meeting and give some details so that she can be prepared ahead of time and realize that you just need some more information. I would also be forthcoming about noticing some miscommunication and wanting to talk in person to avoid that.
good point re: communication. i just feel a bit like a douche for saying i want a conference because i am working every day this week and its going to be difficult to fit that in before next week.
i agree. i feel like they need to follow up on what they ask the kids to do. and do more supervising so the kids aren't just doing whatever.
of course, i also noticed that i'm one of the only parents that walks their kid into the building, so maybe i don't expect as much of c as i should. that said, i'm not interested in her just hopping out of the car and going to school.
and c is rarely helpful in explaining what she is supposed to do but i think that she does know, she just acts like she doesnt when i ask her.
i miss preschool
Ugh. See, that was me too. I talked to the office about their expectations and they said that they need parents to go through the drop off line and drop their kids off instead of walking them in. They said that the only time they want parents parking and bringing the kids in is if they are tardy and have you sign the sheet.
So, you never know that the deal is. My mom was totally pissed and didn't understand why people would drop off kids instead of walking them in and I explained that is just the school's policy - to keep the parking lot safer for the kids getting off the bus and for the buses to get in and out easily.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that might be the case at your school too but I had no idea about this until I went and asked because I was confused about being the only parent walking him in.
(For us, we registered at a different school and then transferred to his current school so I think some of this was gone over at the enrollment but we didn't do it.)
My sister has 4 kids and their school has the drop-off policy where you don't walk them in but there are teachers on the sidewalk every morning and they open your car door and shuffle the kids inside.
I would be OK with that but I wouldn't want to just drop my kindergartner off at the curb if there was no one there to get them. I walked Jack and Ryan into school for the first half of the schoolyear when they were in Kindergarten. After that I would drop them off and stand outside my car and watch them until they were safely on the Kindergarten playground.
they don't have a car line at drop off. earlier in the year they were outside from 730-755ish while kids were coming in. now they arent. so most of the parents just watch the kids go into the building. so its nbd to walk them in.
but one day i walked her in and the kids werent in the class. so i thought maybe they had headed over to the sanctuary early (which is where they *were* going right after the schoolday started).
so i go to the sanctuary and its empty. then i ask someone if they know where they are (no). so i go to the after school building thinking maybe they are there and i pick up another kid coming in while i'm hunting them down. so they werent in that building, i finally found them in the original building i went into, in a dif classroom. of course now she is "late" but i just spent 10 minutes trying to find the damn class and neither c or the other kid could tell me where the class was at.
and on friday ms.teacher called to ask me where c's lunch was. ummm...idk- she went to school with it. "well, she doesn't have it."
wtf am i supposed to do with that? so of course c is all doi and i ask ms.teacher if she brought her lunch to the classroom because it was right there next to her bookbag when i dropped her off (on workdays she goes to the before school program and gets dropped off at the daycare building and all the kids are supposed to put their bags in the sanctuary.) so ms.teacher sends someone to look for it in sanctuary. and i asked -bcuz once again, someone should be making sure the kids have all their stuff- who is supposed to take them to class and make sure they have their stuff. so she says "corene is the only one that didn't bring her lunch."
SO EFFING WHAT??? she is freaking 5 yrs old! hell, i forget my lunch half the time. so of course they find the lunchbag in the sanctuary right where it was left and whoever took the kids to class did not make sure they had all their things. and it is their job to do that.
but its stuff like this that is driving me crazy. and i sense a lot of animosity btw ms.teacher and i, although i'm sure i've rolled my eyes at her lots of times (so what) i have not ever been rude to her. and by all accounts, she is well liked by the parents.
so either i'm overreacting or my kid is not tracking but i think its a multifactorial issue.
i'm not at all willing to concede that c is prepared to be responsible for everything on her own. especially because i know that she is used to having everything done for her, so this is a change. and i have certainly told her that she needs to do xyz and we talk about this stuff so its not as if i'm not trying.
good point re: communication. i just feel a bit like a douche for saying i want a conference because i am working every day this week and its going to be difficult to fit that in before next week.
i agree. i feel like they need to follow up on what they ask the kids to do. and do more supervising so the kids aren't just doing whatever.
of course, i also noticed that i'm one of the only parents that walks their kid into the building, so maybe i don't expect as much of c as i should. that said, i'm not interested in her just hopping out of the car and going to school.
and c is rarely helpful in explaining what she is supposed to do but i think that she does know, she just acts like she doesnt when i ask her.
i miss preschool
Ugh. See, that was me too. I talked to the office about their expectations and they said that they need parents to go through the drop off line and drop their kids off instead of walking them in. They said that the only time they want parents parking and bringing the kids in is if they are tardy and have you sign the sheet.
So, you never know that the deal is. My mom was totally pissed and didn't understand why people would drop off kids instead of walking them in and I explained that is just the school's policy - to keep the parking lot safer for the kids getting off the bus and for the buses to get in and out easily.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that might be the case at your school too but I had no idea about this until I went and asked because I was confused about being the only parent walking him in.
(For us, we registered at a different school and then transferred to his current school so I think some of this was gone over at the enrollment but we didn't do it.)
My sister has 4 kids and their school has the drop-off policy where you don't walk them in but there are teachers on the sidewalk every morning and they open your car door and shuffle the kids inside.
I would be OK with that but I wouldn't want to just drop my kindergartner off at the curb if there was no one there to get them. I walked Jack and Ryan into school for the first half of the schoolyear when they were in Kindergarten. After that I would drop them off and stand outside my car and watch them until they were safely on the Kindergarten playground.
That is how things are done at our Elm school. They let you walk the kids in school the first two days and after that they ask you to stay in the car. You pull up and they open the door and help the kid out. If the kid is young then they get walked to class.
Tab, I bet a lot of it is just communication. Face to Face might be better because it is hard to understand tone sometimes and maybe the teacher doesn't understand what is going on and she doesn't mean to come off like a witch. Plus that way you can get answers to all your questions at once instead of going back and forth in your email.
I definitely think a conference is a good idea. But I also think that maybe there is a misunderstanding in her tone. I can see how it would seem bitchy but I can also see it as her just trying to explain *why* she does things the way she does.
FWIW - ITU the frustration with working and having someone else involved in the drop off/pick up and other dealings with the teacher. I email her quite a bit for day to day things that I just don't know about.
I'm a little confused though about teenagers supervising. What do you mean?
they have always had a lot of teenagers helping out with the kids. and they are there all the time (the teenagers) so i'm sure its all just part of it being a small church, etc. half the people that work there are related somehow (not the teachers, but the ancillary & admin staff). so jeremy is the kid that seems to do the most with the younger elementary kids. he takes them to recess, he prolly walks them to class, he helps at their lunch and helps at the after school program. i mean, the kid is doing a lot of work.
and i've never had any problems at all with the teenage 'helpers' and jeremy plays with the kids, disciplines appropriately, he tells me what she ate, etc. but even still, a teenager is not going to be able to supervise a bunch of kids on the same level as an adult so idt he should be primarily responsible for their supervision when they are not in class. based on what c has said, he is and idk where ms. teacher or the other teachers are during lunch, breaks, etc nor do i know how it usually works. (obviously they have to eat, too.)
im really struggling with it all because i don't want to judge unfairly or have unreasonable expectations of my own. and i would really like to volunteer one day to help out so i can see what it is they are doing, how it works, etc so i will understand.
i'm not at all trying to micromanage but dang, its been a big adjustment bcuz i really have to be more organized myself and i'm trying but its very hard when i don't understand what is going on and what she is responsible for.
blah.
i'm actually touring another school here soon and thinking really hard on transferring her but dayum- it costs even more!
i appreciate everyone's advice/input. i never expected it to be so hard!
i wrote ms. teacher a note explaining to her what i was bothered by/confused about and that i woud like to have a conference.
realistically, i can leave work for a conference. its just really inconvenient to do that because (obviously) i have no way to predict what kind of staffing we have or how busy we are and its kind of hard to leave if there is a bad trauma or i'm busy trying to get someone off to the cath lab, etc.
not that those things happen often but they are bound to if you need to be somewhere.
good point re: communication. i just feel a bit like a douche for saying i want a conference because i am working every day this week and its going to be difficult to fit that in before next week.
i agree. i feel like they need to follow up on what they ask the kids to do. and do more supervising so the kids aren't just doing whatever.
of course, i also noticed that i'm one of the only parents that walks their kid into the building, so maybe i don't expect as much of c as i should. that said, i'm not interested in her just hopping out of the car and going to school.
and c is rarely helpful in explaining what she is supposed to do but i think that she does know, she just acts like she doesnt when i ask her.
i miss preschool
Ugh. See, that was me too. I talked to the office about their expectations and they said that they need parents to go through the drop off line and drop their kids off instead of walking them in. They said that the only time they want parents parking and bringing the kids in is if they are tardy and have you sign the sheet.
So, you never know that the deal is. My mom was totally pissed and didn't understand why people would drop off kids instead of walking them in and I explained that is just the school's policy - to keep the parking lot safer for the kids getting off the bus and for the buses to get in and out easily.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that might be the case at your school too but I had no idea about this until I went and asked because I was confused about being the only parent walking him in.
(For us, we registered at a different school and then transferred to his current school so I think some of this was gone over at the enrollment but we didn't do it.)
My sister has 4 kids and their school has the drop-off policy where you don't walk them in but there are teachers on the sidewalk every morning and they open your car door and shuffle the kids inside.
I would be OK with that but I wouldn't want to just drop my kindergartner off at the curb if there was no one there to get them. I walked Jack and Ryan into school for the first half of the schoolyear when they were in Kindergarten. After that I would drop them off and stand outside my car and watch them until they were safely on the Kindergarten playground.
That is how it is with ours - there is a car line and you pull up to the curb and the kids get out right at the curb. There is an adult there (different teachers take turns) that supervises but is more helpful with the younger kids since they tend to need it. They direct them to the playground which has more supervision and then the teachers come out to get the kids and bring them to class.
Tab - if it was like how you described - that is SO weird to me. I definitely would be bringing them inside with that kind of situation.
I definitely think a conference is a good idea. But I also think that maybe there is a misunderstanding in her tone. I can see how it would seem bitchy but I can also see it as her just trying to explain *why* she does things the way she does.
FWIW - ITU the frustration with working and having someone else involved in the drop off/pick up and other dealings with the teacher. I email her quite a bit for day to day things that I just don't know about.
I'm a little confused though about teenagers supervising. What do you mean?
they have always had a lot of teenagers helping out with the kids. and they are there all the time (the teenagers) so i'm sure its all just part of it being a small church, etc. half the people that work there are related somehow (not the teachers, but the ancillary & admin staff). so jeremy is the kid that seems to do the most with the younger elementary kids. he takes them to recess, he prolly walks them to class, he helps at their lunch and helps at the after school program. i mean, the kid is doing a lot of work.
and i've never had any problems at all with the teenage 'helpers' and jeremy plays with the kids, disciplines appropriately, he tells me what she ate, etc. but even still, a teenager is not going to be able to supervise a bunch of kids on the same level as an adult so idt he should be primarily responsible for their supervision when they are not in class. based on what c has said, he is and idk where ms. teacher or the other teachers are during lunch, breaks, etc nor do i know how it usually works. (obviously they have to eat, too.)
im really struggling with it all because i don't want to judge unfairly or have unreasonable expectations of my own. and i would really like to volunteer one day to help out so i can see what it is they are doing, how it works, etc so i will understand.
i'm not at all trying to micromanage but dang, its been a big adjustment bcuz i really have to be more organized myself and i'm trying but its very hard when i don't understand what is going on and what she is responsible for.
blah.
i'm actually touring another school here soon and thinking really hard on transferring her but dayum- it costs even more!
I would DEFINITELY be getting clarification on who is supervising at different times. I also don't think you are micromanaging and I am totally with you - they are FIVE! This is their opportunity to learn responsibility but at the same time the expectations need to be clear both for her AND for you so that everything can flow together. I also don't like the way she is dealing with it - pointing out that she is the *only* one who didn't have her lunch - even when she did - but even if she didn't, come on!
I don't blame you for touring another school - the more you mention things the weirder it seems. idk.
Tab, do you have a curriculum night or a meet the teachers night coming up soon? I was feeling equally lost (especially since Charlie told me the only thing he learned so far is how to measure pumpkins) but we had a curriculum night and the teacher explained all the things they are doing and the expectations, etc.
It helped a bunch.
But I'd say, send the teacher an email and ask for a face to face meeting. I'm sure it's just a communication issue and if you could sit down with her one on one, you'd get it all figured out.
Tab, I think Juni had some good insight and advice, especially about emailing and letting her know what you want to talk about. As a teacher, I had to send home the communication journals. Yes, it is the student's responsibility to take them home. However, it sounds like ms. teacher may lack some organizational skills herself. I don't know what her method is, but generally we looked at the journals as soon as we got them in the morning. Then at the end of the day we had everyone get out journals and did a quick walk around to check that they had homework/etc. in the journals. Then if a child need a note about something that happened in the day, we did it then. Then they all put them in their book bags. Even when I was a sub, this is pretty much how they did the communication journals.
Also, the messy cubby is the child's responsibility, but it's also the teacher's to steer the child in the right direction. Even 5th graders need that same guidance. You might want to ask her what the standard procedure is for these things.
I also really hate to ask this, but I know when I was a single mom, sometimes I ran into teachers with attitudes about single parents. Do you think that might be part of the problem?
Tab. If things don't get resolved with the teacher then I would go to the principal. It sounds like when things go wrong it happens when the teens are in charge. Suggesting that they are trained better wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Teens, repeat after me...."KIDS, WE'RE GOING TO THE CLASSROOM NOW, DOES EVERYONE HAVE THEIR BACKPACK AND LUNCHBOX?" "KIDS, IT'S TIME TO GO HOME, DID EVERYONE PUT THEIR FOLDER IN THEIR BACKPACK?"
It's so silly that she's calling you during work to have you resolve things that can be figured out by half way intelligent adults at the school. If my kids forget their lunch, they just give them a school lunch. We're a public school though.
Tab, I think Juni had some good insight and advice, especially about emailing and letting her know what you want to talk about. As a teacher, I had to send home the communication journals. Yes, it is the student's responsibility to take them home. However, it sounds like ms. teacher may lack some organizational skills herself. I don't know what her method is, but generally we looked at the journals as soon as we got them in the morning. Then at the end of the day we had everyone get out journals and did a quick walk around to check that they had homework/etc. in the journals. Then if a child need a note about something that happened in the day, we did it then. Then they all put them in their book bags. Even when I was a sub, this is pretty much how they did the communication journals.
Also, the messy cubby is the child's responsibility, but it's also the teacher's to steer the child in the right direction. Even 5th graders need that same guidance. You might want to ask her what the standard procedure is for these things.
I also really hate to ask this, but I know when I was a single mom, sometimes I ran into teachers with attitudes about single parents. Do you think that might be part of the problem?
i havent run into any issues with the single mom thing and i haven't gotten that vibe from her.
yeah when i pick c up i straighten her cubby esp after i realized thats where some of the tupperware had gone. idk how she ends up with tupperware not back in her lunchbox and school papers in the cubby...but certainly mornings are not a good time for straightening the cubby.
i'm sure that c is a lot less independent than several of her peers based on how she is at home and i know thats not entirely helpful. i do wonder if its part ofthe issue...which of course means she needs extra help in that dept.
sonya- we had meet the teacher night. we just picked up a folder.
kristi- good point re: the teens. and yeah, idk why i got that lunch call either considering it seemed rather commonsense to go check the sanctuary where all the bags get dropped off.
i will say though that c sure does learn a lot. i got a whole lesson on short & long vowel sounds today, lol. she also doesn't complain about ms.teacher or jeremy.
alsoo today while i was thinking about it i remembered that ms. teacher was the 2nd grade teacher and they switched her to kindergarten sometime after the school year ended. so maybe that accounts for some of the issues.
