I know this is horrible of me to feel like this

Domimom · Senior Member

I know this is horrible of me to feel like this

Sonya · Guru

That's a hard one, Jasmine.

Money and family is such a hard thing.

I guess if I was your mom and was not able to work, I'd be very careful with that money because I wouldn't know how long I'd have to live on it.

I'm sorry it isn't working out the way you hoped. Money is such a stressful thing. Maybe you should have a direct conversation with her so you don't just bottle up all this stress.

Hugs. I hope everything works out soon for you.

mctex · Guru

The limitations in life placed on us by money and death SUCK.

Sorry you're dealing with both right now. :(

happylib · Guru

I have been thinking about this a little and I can see why you feel hurt. I can see where your mom would be worried about money and why she might do what she is doing. That doesn't take away from the fact that you are having some struggles right now. As I recall you have been there and supportive for your mom too, and right now I am guessing that you would really appreciate some reciprocal support. I hope things get better soon.

Erin · Guru

My father died when I was a senior in college. I was 22. My brother was an 18 year old freshman in college. Because he was under 21, he received some sort of monthly annuity that got put into some investment account for him until he was 21. My mom got a spousal one. I got zip. So, basically, coming out of college, I had debt, and more debt from law school. My brother not only had no debt, he had a nice little nest egg saved up. I admit. I am very bitter about it. Not sure what happened there, I seem to recall my mom saying something like she would "take care of it and even it out." Hmmm. I always felt like an azz for wondering, where is mine? and the guilt of wondering is very dificult. And finally, I feel like at 36, I should be over this and be in a place where I earn what is mine. Most days that is the case, but some days....

long story short is that I understand. Its tough. The emotions that come with a death, coupled with money are so hard. Hang in there and stay strong.

NJenn · Newbie

Sonya is right, Domimom. You need to have a heart to heart talk with your mom and tell her you need help right now. Of course, you do have the intention to pay her back. It's understandable that you feel that way about the insurance money your dad had left you, but you also need to understand that your mom is old and does not have anybody or any job to depend on.
snohomish landscaping