The Doctors' office has got me schedualed for my c-section on Aug 3rd at 7:30 am. It was supposed to be the 2nd. They said it was because the hosptal is really busy that week. Or it could be that the office asked for the 3rd instead of the 2nd. So, that buys me another day.
I'm feeling better then I hav been the past few weeks. Still freaked out and stressed, but not feeling as crazy as I was. I told my Dr that I still feel like I'm in the shock stage of being pregnant. I have dreams where I go to the Dr for an U/S, and there's no baby in there, I'm just crazy. He just smiled and said that I'm about as pregnant as you can be. And there is a baby in there. LOL.
I have to be getting close 'cause I've been doing once a week visits for the past 2 weeks, and will until we have her. I guess, ready or not, here she comes...
Hang in there. I remember having crazy bad anxiety in the days before Victoria was born... the dark places my mind would take me. Simply awful.
But it will be fine. You will be fine. She will be fine. Andrew will be fine.
And one day, before you know it, you'll have an instance where another child is playing too rough with her, and you'll get angry and your inner mama bear will snap at that other child who's threatening to hurt your baby.
And that other child will be Andrew.
(I remember the first time I had the protective instinct "against" Alexandra. It was the weirdest feeling, and one I thought could/would never happen. It did, it does, it will.)
I am glad things are feeling a little better for you. I hope the anxiety continues to go away. As far as being ready, really you have what she really needs right now. You have your arms to hold her in and a family to love her. Babies don't really care if there is a perfect nursery or even if they wear clothes, let alone if everything coordinates.
Thanks. Andrew is getting more and more vocal in how much he does not want another baby. I'm ready to stick him in therapy. I try not to talk about the baby at all with him now. The past couple of days he's been really wanting to be held, laying on top of me, which I'm really trying to enjoy, 'cause most days he doesn't even let me kiss him.