I know that many of our kiddos are going to kindergarten this fall. Although it's not set in stone we are back to waiting another year. I have to admit, there is a part of me that is really having a hard time with this. I kind of feel like most of her friends (especially those we see a lot) are moving on. It kind of makes me sad. They are all excited about kindergarten and what it brings. On the other hand, I feel like we are left behind in a way. Don't get me wrong. I am happy for them. I guess maybe it makes me feel meloncholy?
Anyway, for those of you that are waiting, how do you see it?
For those of you that your kiddos are going to kindergarten, do you even give another thought to those that aren't? What's your point of view?
Not looking, to make this a heated debate. Just wondering how others see it.
i can see why that situation could cause mixed emotions. will elizabeth have any of the kids in her current preschool class with her again in the fall? does her preschool follow an identical curriculum from year to year? if we had decided to hold back i would have probably transferred connor to another preschool b/c ours follows almost an identical curriculum each year (ie during week X they make X,Y,Z crafts, sing X and Y songs, etc etc) and i know connor would end up misbehaving if he was bored.
as far as our own situation, connor is going to start kindergarten. actually, i only know of one person here who is willingly holding their child back a year. most of the kids in his current preschool class that are staying back have to b/c they miss the sept. 1 cut off. one of them literally by a week and i know at one point her mother was going to try to push to have her moved forward, but then never did.
the one girl we do know who is staying in preschool for a third year and does not have a birthday issue is just extremely quiet and shy and while the preschool teachers said she would do fine academically in k they thought she needed the extra year to mature socially.
it is interesting how holding back/moving forward seems to have different trends depending on where you live... until i found m/s all those years ago i had never even heard of people waiting until 6, but it seems to be pretty common in many of the areas where other board members live.
well, cecile was not held back per say - but she was born Sept 12, a few weeks after the sept 1 cutoff date.
she is the oldest in her class. physically she is the most mature - which sometimes gives me pause and wonder if i did the right thing not pushing her forward.
but on the other hand, she does really well with school. her teachers love her. and i really think that extra year of maturity helps in the long run.
i would much rather a child have an easier time in school with good grades, rather than struggle and have to do much homework and not be able to play and do extra-curricular activities because school is too much of a burden.
i am wrestling this with clara now... she is definitely going into her second year of kindy next year (its a 2 year program here, ages 4 and 5), but we need to decide next spring with the teacher if she is mature enough to advance to first grade or if she will do a third year of kindy. being the youngest in her class i can definitely see it. and i really want to avoid struggles down the road by pushing her too hard.
i can see why that situation could cause mixed emotions. will elizabeth have any of the kids in her current preschool class with her again in the fall? does her preschool follow an identical curriculum from year to year? if we had decided to hold back i would have probably transferred connor to another preschool b/c ours follows almost an identical curriculum each year (ie during week X they make X,Y,Z crafts, sing X and Y songs, etc etc) and i know connor would end up misbehaving if he was bored.
as far as our own situation, connor is going to start kindergarten. actually, i only know of one person here who is willingly holding their child back a year. most of the kids in his current preschool class that are staying back have to b/c they miss the sept. 1 cut off. one of them literally by a week and i know at one point her mother was going to try to push to have her moved forward, but then never did.
the one girl we do know who is staying in preschool for a third year and does not have a birthday issue is just extremely quiet and shy and while the preschool teachers said she would do fine academically in k they thought she needed the extra year to mature socially.
it is interesting how holding back/moving forward seems to have different trends depending on where you live... until i found m/s all those years ago i had never even heard of people waiting until 6, but it seems to be pretty common in many of the areas where other board members live.
I find that interesting too.
I know around here, it's the cut-off date that keeps most kids from starting, not the parents holding them back. Everyone of the kids in SG's pre-school class that are old enough are moving on to Kindergarten in the fall. (and one of them is faaaaarrrr from being mature enough, lol)
I would say it isn't neccesarily a popular option to hold back, but it happens often enough that when we say we are keeping Koda in PreK it doesn't surprise anyone. Happens often enough, particularly with boys.
Our preK no longer days ages 2.5-5, instead, 2.5-kindergarten because some kids go to kindergarten at different ages. His PreK teacher did his dissertation on "red shirting" kids for kindergarten. His findings were if held back to give an academic "edge", that "edge" dissipates by about the third grade when he found most things seemed to level out. He is very much in favor of keeping kids in preK one more year if they are socially and emotionally not ready. He was ok with sending Koda to K, but also very supportive of our decision with keeping him in preK another year.
Stephen turned 7 the week before he started 1st. He was in a typical public school class room(filled to the max, teacher without an assistant). He was getting very little one on one and/or small groups. He was being labeled as having behavior problems and told at Christmas that he would need to repeat 1st.
Moved to a new school after Christmas with small class size and a lot individual/small groups and he could advance at his own rate. My DS was bored at his old school and needed more attention so he did great at his new school.
To hold back or not is not about age or gender but about the individual child and only the parent can make the best decision. For my kids I would only hold them back if I thought an extra year would help out with behavior/maturity. When my DS was in K I knew of a kid who was being held back to help him out in sports. It's funny when the parents are grooming their kids to be the next big thing in basketball and he only makes it to 5'7".
I don't know of anyone in Raven's class being held back. One of the goals of the prek program is to have the child ready for k and they do a great job of that. I think since her school deals with kids with delays(emotional, physical, mental, etc.) in the classroom with normal developing kids, that they don't typically recommend holding kids back.
I'm really at peace with our decision. The preschool Nolan is going to is not in the same district as the kindergarten he will attend, so he wouldn't have known anybody if he had of started this fall anyway.
It was gut-wrenching to try and make the decision, but once the final decision was made all the anxiety and stress went away, so I know we did the right thing.
I said it before in the last thread, but part of my decision process was the realization that if I started him before he was ready, a certain number of negative things could happen; however, if I waited to start him even though he was ready after all, I couldn't find one negative thing that could happen.
If it didn't appear to be the trend to wait until 6 here, I could have easily swayed the other way. I was really scared of Nolan being the youngest boy in his class. Girls are not held back near as often as boys here due to quicker maturity levels. Plus, who wouldn't want to be the smallest girl in the class? lol! J/K
I will say I had always said I would hold Owen back due to that and the fact he is a boy and born 6 days before our cut off date in Indiana.
So I could not imagine sending my very new 5 year old when I know there will be many that are already 6 or about to turn that age. Plus Owen is tiny size wise.
This year we really questioned our decision and if we were doing the right thing. I messaged a lot of girls on Facebook, posts on here, talking to others I know, etc.
He had a speech evaluation as he says his double O's like "oo" real funny he adds like an "r" in there. think boork. Anyway, they were beyond shocked when I told them my plan was to hold him back as he was way beyond 4 year old level in quite a few areas, some of course he was right on target.
In the end we have decided to keep him out. I see no reason to rush it, I hear of no one who regrets holding their child back, but many who regret sending a child that is young and near the cut off onto school.
Also, as much as some say well they can just repeat Kindergarten. Believe me, I have a 1st grader, they all know who the repeaters are.
That and the fact with having Bryce I know of some of the workload he is dealing with in 1st grade. Homework M-TH, Spelling test each week and AR reading goals that must be met. All in addition to normal lessons and such.
I feel most any kid can get through Kindergarten it is after that where it becomes rough and more challenging.
I know that many of our kiddos are going to kindergarten this fall. Although it's not set in stone we are back to waiting another year. I have to admit, there is a part of me that is really having a hard time with this. I kind of feel like most of her friends (especially those we see a lot) are moving on. It kind of makes me sad. They are all excited about kindergarten and what it brings. On the other hand, I feel like we are left behind in a way. Don't get me wrong. I am happy for them. I guess maybe it makes me feel meloncholy?
Anyway, for those of you that are waiting, how do you see it?
For those of you that your kiddos are going to kindergarten, do you even give another thought to those that aren't? What's your point of view?
Not looking, to make this a heated debate. Just wondering how others see it.
:wave thought i'd chime in here - i've been lurking in the other K thread - canNOT believe we all have almost-5 yr olds!! R is going to K in sept.
out of her 12 classmates, 3 (2 boys, 1 girl) are staying back, and 1 had already stayed back and is now entering K at age 5.5 (girl), so when R met her, she was in her 2nd yr of preschool. the 5.5 yr old was very shy at the beginning of the year, and has now really come into her own. i'm not sure why she stayed back - she seems fine behaviorally and academically, but i'm sure her mom had reasons, but whatever they were, it really seems that this girl has matured enough to start K. i will say, she does appear much bigger than the other kids. she's totally fine though, and happy, and i definitely dont think that the extra year of preschool has been a disservice whatsoever. she doesnt seem bored or anything. she does tend to play with the more advanced kids in the class (ie, the ones who are less quiet and more outgoing).
the 3 who are staying back all have november bdays. they are probably perfectly ready for K, but the parents want to give them the extra time for various reasons (2 are twins, so they go together - the parents jsut dont want them to be youngest - the other boy does seem to have some attention types of issues, so i can understand why the mom wants to give it another yr). it is VERY common here to hold back, so this is not seen at all as unusual, and people dont give it a second thought. i swear, i can only think of 1 or 2 boys born past sept 1st that are moving onto K. moms seem more likely to move their daughters ahead, i think mainly bc as megan said, the physical maturity is a concern for the middle school years.
as someone whose daughter is going on to K, i dont think twice about those who are not. i have talked in depth to the moms (they are both my closest preschool-mom friends actually), and i FULLY get why they are holding back, and i do plan to continue having playdates with them even though R will be in another school and a grade level higher. since i get on so well with the moms, these are also R's favorite friends to play with. she knows they arent going to K, and knows they will be at different preschools, and doesnt think twice about it.
i can understand how this is probably a bit of an emotional time, when some are moving on and some arent - but i think it's such an individual decision.
We are sending Anna to K in the fall, and I definitely think she is ready. But I think that now is the time to keep them back if you are going to!! I know it is totally different, but I did debate about having Kate repeat the 2s class this year, but I am so so glad I did. She did well last year, but better this year, and it hasn't bothered her to be the biggest or the oldest in her class. I know that will change at some point in her life, but I think in the end it will be to her benefit that she is one of the oldest.
It is interesting to me as well how different trends are. I rarely, if ever, hear of people keeping their kids, who are old enough to start K, in PreK an extra year, but I know of quite a number of people who have had their kids tested in early for K. (the cutoff here is 9/1, but they will test in kids born through mid-October, for some unknown reason) Frankly, I think that is not wise unless you have GENIUS on your hands (and lets face it, true genius children are few and far between), but it seems a lot of people want to do it around here. Even though Kate doesn't even meet the criteria to test in if I wanted her to, I have had NUMEROUS people ask me if I was planning on testing her in to start next year instead of the year after. Which I would never do. People here are wack.
Anyway, I can definitely understand being sad in some ways about keeping Elizabeth in PreK for another year, but again-I think that now is the time to do it, and chances are very good it will end up being the best thing for her.
I debated this pretty heavily in my head a few years ago before they changed our cutoff from Oct 1 to Dec 31st.
I really didn't want the kids to be the youngest in their classes and with both of their birthdays in August, they were going to face this.
Since they changed the cut off, they'll be right around the middle which I guess is good. Or bad. Who knows! Being a parent is so stressfull. What if they are ready now but aren't ready for middle school? ACK! Stress.
I was so excited for Charlie and was sure he was ready until he went for his orientation and now I'm just finding it stressful. He really didn't love it (though I think that was because we set his expectations way too high).
His daycare teachers all comment on how ready he is and they spend every day with him in a learning environment so I'm sure they know but it is hard knowing you are the one making the decision that could impact his next 13 years of school.
I debated keeping K in the kindergarten at her preschool, but ultimately, couldnt justify the cost. I never considered keeping her back, but, it really is not the trend here, and maybe if she wasnt outgoing, I would reconsider.
She was the youngest on her soccer team this summer, and it was challenging at times, but, mostly because she was small. otherwise, all the other kids had their "moments" too. lol.
As for other kids going off to K or being held back, I dont really think about it. All of the kids at her preschool are going to different kindergartens, so its more of a "oh bummer, we arent going to see these kids any more" you know, just another transition that we will go through and there is a bit of sadness for that. A couple of kids from her prek moved up to the Kindergarten class early, and I did have a moment of thinking "well if they are going up, Kiera should too." But, then I checked myself, took a deep breath and reminded myself she will be successful on HER path and there was no need to rush her.
It's interesting reading what eveyone is posting. I know that Elizabeth is not as advanced as some of the other kids emotionally/socially. I know that she will get there when she is ready.
She is also one of the youngest ones in that age group here. I also know that when we went to the kindergarten screening they did tell us she would be the youngest in that class too. I don't know that it is a trend here to hold kids back either, which is why it feels a bit like the odd man out.
Academically I know she is fine. I am going to attempt to do some things with her in that realm. I have lots of the teaching materials so I might as well use them. Corey, you had mentioned about the preschool repeating curriculum, but that is not the case at hers. They are always doing new and different things. They have interns from the University that come in and do a unit they create. The last month or so of school, each child also picks what he/she wants to learn about, so it's his/her day. They are very open to ideas and suggestions from parents too. So, I do think she will have fun and be happy there.
If it helps, my boys aren't friends anymore with any of the kids they were friends with in their last year of preschool and Kindergarten. So chances are in a couple of years she won't still be good friends with those kids. They just don't make friends for life at such a young age.
As far as our decision to have Sarah go to another year of pre-school, I am so happy with the decision. She is so not ready, especially when I compare her maturity level to the other girls in her class. I really feel like she's going to have a leg up next year when she finally goes.
I see how the kids who started Kindergarten a year later in Jack and Ryan's classes really thrive. I just wish I would have made this decision for Jack. But with a toddler at home and a baby on the way, forget it, I needed him out of here. LOL.
It's just so weird to me. I don't know anyone IRL that chose to keep their child home another year. Honestly, I never really thought about it until it was posted here. It's always been (for me) they go when they are age eligible. I didn't think that much further than that. I was a little paranoid and asked Doug what he thought and he looked at me like I had two heads! I think Gavin will do fine. He is on the small side but honestly, I know he will grow and when he does, look out! I don't think he is advanced or behind, but I think he is ready for Kindergarten and will have tons of fun. I started when I was 4, turned 5 in October and never had a problem in school so I never really thought about holding our kids back.
It's just so hard to try and predict what will be best for them, kwim? But I didn't really struggle with this decision so I think if I had, I would definitely be looking into what is best for our situation and I can totally see legit reasons why some of you are waiting another year. I don't see anything wrong with it. I guess I worry that I would hold him back and he would have been ready and then I would be upset that I didn't send him to begin with. I feel like if he doesn't progress in Kindergarten the way he should then I will assess keeping him in K another year. I think he will still be young enough to not be hurt from going another round of K. But I don't think that will be the case anyway. I will see what his pre-K teacher says in the next week or so. I think we have a progress report coming up.
I think about when they are in high school and I am glad that if things continue how we plan I won't have to deal with an "adult" (18 year old) who is still in high school! Calling himself out of school and playing the adult card to get out of things. ;)
I actually have an example of a kid that should have been kept back and wasn't.
Nikki's birthday is November 30th so she started Kindergarten when she was still 4. She didn't go to any type of preschool and it was not a trend 13 years ago to hold kids out who meet the cut off. We should have kept her back in K or 1st grade though. Every year the teacher said she would do fine academically but was very immature and her father refused to have one of his kids repeat a grade.
Now she is a senior about to graduate from high school and is one of the most immature seniors I have ever seen. I totally regret not fighting her father to keep her back when she was younger so that she wouldn't be so socially challenged now.
I had planned on keeping Lucas out for a whole host of reasons but after a series of long discussions with his preschool teacher it was decided that he would just be too bored. Kindergarten is definitely going to be a challenge but he has been assigned a full time aid so he will have constant one on one attention.
This parenting stuff really is too damn hard sometimes. (((hugs)))
I only know one other person withholding their K'er back and it's b/c they don't think he's ready though academically he's fine his mother insists that boys mature slower so an extra year will somehow work to his advantage. Colin is going. Academically he blew the doors off the LAP-D. Emotionally he's a very emotionalcreature. Do I see that as immature? No. DH and I have taught him ways to appropriately express himself. It doesn't always work but he is perfect at school. A little OCD but behavior is perfect. His teacher said that he would do fine in K of another year ov Pre-K wouldn't hurt. DH opted to move forward with K. Sometimes I wonder if the "my child isn't ready" has more to do with the parent versus the child being ready. That's what I have seen IRL. That major hesitation seems to stem from the parent's own readiness versuses the child. That is what I observed in the mothers I know IRL. the dads seem mum on it. What's popular here is to do a round of K in a preschool that goes to K which all the church preschools have K's and assess the child again. If at the end of the year they are ready, they start 1st grade the following year at their district elementary school. If not, they will go to K at said elementary school.
Christopher will be spending one more year in pre k. Here, K is full day (not sure if that's so everywhere). Full day K is not common here. The pre k is the same school...so the curriculum is cohesive. He was tested in march, and will be put on an IEP for OT and some PT and they will be watching him for speech language processing issues, though they are not recommending therapy at this time. He is emotionally and socially immature and we are having some budget woes that will put K classrooms at up to 30 kids this year...I can't see him in a class with that many kids and his ot issues...he holds a pencil completely backwards, flipping his wrist and thumb down...
Here it's not common or uncommon to do two years of K or two years of pre k. The staff were very supportive with what I chose, and becaus he is on an IEP, I have the upper hand.
He scored very well in word usage, but doesn't have a single blend...so, I want to give him one more year of maturity and let the therapists work one more year with him as well.
Christopher will be spending one more year in pre k. Here, K is full day (not sure if that's so everywhere). Full day K is not common here. The pre k is the same school...so the curriculum is cohesive. He was tested in march, and will be put on an IEP for OT and some PT and they will be watching him for speech language processing issues, though they are not recommending therapy at this time. He is emotionally and socially immature and we are having some budget woes that will put K classrooms at up to 30 kids this year...I can't see him in a class with that many kids and his ot issues...he holds a pencil completely backwards, flipping his wrist and thumb down...
Here it's not common or uncommon to do two years of K or two years of pre k. The staff were very supportive with what I chose, and becaus he is on an IEP, I have the upper hand.
He scored very well in word usage, but doesn't have a single blend...so, I want to give him one more year of maturity and let the therapists work one more year with him as well.
holy moly, mally. that is craaazy. i just went to our k orientation on thursday night and our elementary school just got a 4th k class added to the schedule b/c they didn't want class sizes higher than 20. i feel for the k teachers in your town!
Alexandra is moving on to K at the private IB school in which she's currently enrolled.
I'd always thought I would hold her back if I could get away with it... I just don't see the advantages of sending a child early. I think all of the rushing is the unfortunate state of our society right now -- not sure what the big hurry is. I don't know if it's the latent competitive mindframe of "gotta get a leg up" from the 80s, but fortunately, living in a progressive area where there's a new emphasis on s-l-o-w, to hold back is more of the social norm.
That said, her teachers wouldn't support it, and said she'd be ridiculously bored.
So, on she goes. And obviously, I can see both POV.
Victoria is starting PP3 this year -- which means she will also be in preschool 8:30-3, M-F. I'm even more worried about her, given that she is a September birthday. But she is absolutely begging to go, and she passed their assessments for entry.
So, on she goes, too.
I don't think we're going to be at this school forever. We really like it for now, but are thinking we might make a change in 1st grade, or potentially in 6th, or should we move... so I think there will be opportunities to correct things if we're moving too fast.
It also builds the case for my continued dream that we take a traveling sabbatical for a year when they hit jr high age, as we can pull them out for a year, and they wouldn't have to repeat a grade.
