Omgosh if Jake says this to me again I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
First I probably need to grow thicker skin :sigh:
He says this or something along these lines constantly anymore and it bothers me so much. He says it when he doesn't get his way, etc. and I have tried to explain to him that it is my job to teach him things, make sure he follows directions, etc.
It would bother me too!! Even though you know you are doing what is best for him and one day (hopefully) he will appreciate you and all you have done, it has to be HARD to hear your child keep telling you you aren't nice!!
I'm sorry, Kris. I am dreading those years.
You are a great mom. Someday he will recognize it. In the meantime, we do!!!
Omgosh if Jake says this to me again I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
First I probably need to grow thicker skin :sigh:
He says this or something along these lines constantly anymore and it bothers me so much. He says it when he doesn't get his way, etc. and I have tried to explain to him that it is my job to teach him things, make sure he follows directions, etc.
I wish I knew why this bothered me so much!
Mom guilt! It's normal to feel that way. Honestly, I think trying to explain to them just makes it worse. Not that I don't catch myself still doing that but I find it makes it worse. I have now gone to saying "wow, that is so sad that *you* feel that way." I make it his problem. And then I do not say anything more.
Omgosh if Jake says this to me again I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
First I probably need to grow thicker skin :sigh:
He says this or something along these lines constantly anymore and it bothers me so much. He says it when he doesn't get his way, etc. and I have tried to explain to him that it is my job to teach him things, make sure he follows directions, etc.
I wish I knew why this bothered me so much!
Mom guilt! It's normal to feel that way. Honestly, I think trying to explain to them just makes it worse. Not that I don't catch myself still doing that but I find it makes it worse. I have now gone to saying "wow, that is so sad that *you* feel that way." I make it his problem. And then I do not say anything more.
thanks for this - that is exactly what I'm going to start saying to him.
And I know if I let him know how much it bothers me he will probably just use it more. I have told him it makes me sad when he says that but that is just empowering him so I'm going to turn it around.
And you're right about the guilt. I've discovered no matter how selfless I am, how much I get on the floor and play, how many hours we spend at the Children's Museum, or stop what I'm doing to give conversations my full attention I end every single day feeling like a failure on some level.
It would bother me too!! Even though you know you are doing what is best for him and one day (hopefully) he will appreciate you and all you have done, it has to be HARD to hear your child keep telling you you aren't nice!!
I'm sorry, Kris. I am dreading those years.
You are a great mom. Someday he will recognize it. In the meantime, we do!!!
Thanks Laura!
Each of my kiddos are putting me through the ringer right now in different ways and I'm just feeling so inadequate.
a week or so ago, connor was whining all day long (which is really nothing new, unfortunately)
i said to him "i have never met a kid who whines as much as you!"
he said right back without any delay "well, i have never met a mom that yells as much as you!"
i can totally sympathize with how crappy they can make us feel at times!!
Seriously! Little boogers. My boys will say - through tears of course - "you are so mean at me. Why are you so mean at me?" You know, because it is so mean to put them to bed and make them wipe their own butts. :eyeroll
Omgosh if Jake says this to me again I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
First I probably need to grow thicker skin :sigh:
He says this or something along these lines constantly anymore and it bothers me so much. He says it when he doesn't get his way, etc. and I have tried to explain to him that it is my job to teach him things, make sure he follows directions, etc.
I wish I knew why this bothered me so much!
Mom guilt! It's normal to feel that way. Honestly, I think trying to explain to them just makes it worse. Not that I don't catch myself still doing that but I find it makes it worse. I have now gone to saying "wow, that is so sad that *you* feel that way." I make it his problem. And then I do not say anything more.
thanks for this - that is exactly what I'm going to start saying to him.
And I know if I let him know how much it bothers me he will probably just use it more. I have told him it makes me sad when he says that but that is just empowering him so I'm going to turn it around.
And you're right about the guilt. I've discovered no matter how selfless I am, how much I get on the floor and play, how many hours we spend at the Children's Museum, or stop what I'm doing to give conversations my full attention I end every single day feeling like a failure on some level.
Ugh!
You are so right. Honestly, I don't know how to make the guilt go away. I think it's built into our DNA. But I think you are totally right that you telling him it makes you sad will backfire on you and he's probably counting on that when he says it. It is still tough though. Hang in there. You are a great mom!
I think it's partly the age and perhaps a glimpse into teenage years. I have heard similar things from E, and Jenn is right about putting it back on them. It's not always easy and sometimes E still won't leave it alone. That's usually when I oh so calmly tell her, that it isn't my job to be nice, it's my job to be her parent. That usually ends it. I think they are all keeping notes to use in the future so they know how to plot how to get out of future trouble.
