SAHMs - what are your days like?

Jo · Guru

SAHMs - what are your days like?

Cuppycake · Guru

A lot of Hannah's day is free play. I get torn sometimes on not doing tons of educational stuff with her, but I try to sneak stuff like that in here and there during play, because really, with it being her last year home, one of my big resolutions is to let go and active play, because this is it. I can't turn back the clock, and I've piddled away some of the most fun facebooking or worrying about dishes. (Now, another big resolution for me is to become better at managing my time, organizing, and just staying on top of things, so that I can spend 15 minutes here and there cleaning, and that's enough to keep the house nice.)

I don't have advice on getting them out more, though. In the spring, we're a different household... parks, playdates, museums. But in the winter, forgettaboutit. We're pretty much hermits. We do have to leave for school 4x a week, so I feel less guilty than I used to, but I just don't do this freezing cold weather. Coats, mittens, hats, scarves, heating the car for 20 minutes, just to drive 5 minutes away. Yuck.

MommyNicoleof3 · Senior Member

I'm with Leah. We pretty much stick with free play most of the day. There are days when I will pull out the paints/colors/markers to let them get some artsy stuff going. Aubrey loves playing dress up, so I just leave her to do that sort of thing...and Austin is into laying on the floor and driving his cars around. I do try and do things around the same time everyday though to give them structure. In the spring, we spend alot of time outside riding bikes or playing at the park. And we try and do at least one playdate a week. But they are getting much better about playing together so it makes my day way less stressful. : ) Did that answer your question?

3s_a_crowd · Guru

I dont do a ton of educational stuff with k. Shell have 13 years of that so we like to play a lot. She does like to work on reading so we have been trying that and im working on her writing her name properly Capital /lowercase letters.

My day starts with diaper changes LOL and then breakfast for all the kids. Brush teeth. Watch a show on pbs or two and we do puzzles or color. Then I clean and we do an early lunch. After lunch I do baths while the others watch a movie. Then if we have an appt or something it gets done or if we have to go shopping. Dh works from 3-11 so its a little different for us. After he leaves we pick up a little read a book or two watch a movie then have dinner. K usually plays on her computer we have desert a last minute short movie and bedtime stories.

daisy · Guru

no real structure here, especially in teh winter.
they get so busy playing together that i dont like to interrupt them.
when i ask if they want to go out, they usually say they're busy playing :)

R goes to school 5 mornings a week. C naps during that time. we do errands altogether usually after school. i try for playdates often. i dont take out the crafts much. that's never been my thing.
as for academic type stuff, i do that with C here and there throughout the day but she's not one to sit still for long, especially when R is constantly tempting her with new games.
after C goes to bed, R and i have about an hour, adn i use that whole hour to play. we play board games, card games, and that's when we work on writing, drawing, coloring and stuff like that. dyuring the day i dont bother with it though - they are so happy just playing. when i get involved it seems to just screw them up :)

i also try to take them out to lunch here and there. that is something special to do.

as for me, i dont do a ton lately. i've been crocheting a lot, cleaning, organizing, FBing, reading, and writing some lectures for the semester. it's hard to really get into any one thing though, bc they usually do come to me after a bit for some attention or a snack or wahtever. so i usually just save my real work for after bedtime (which is tiring for me, but it's the only way right now).

supergrover · Guru

Not SAH, but what we are doing this semester with the babysitters who watch the boys at home (and us when we are with them), we are setting up a couple (2-3 max) "stations" that are rotated every day so that there is something different as an option. Free play is also ALWAYS an option, but we will have, say, puzzles ready to go at one end of the table, a particular game already set up at the other, and maybe their preK letters book set up on another table with their favorite stickers and markers. The next day we may mix it up and have a craft out, bubbles, and something else.

We're just trying to balance some structure and total free play. A couple years from now the stations will actually begin to morph into homeschooling stuff.

Alicia · Senior Member

Raven goes to preschool 4 mornings a week. I feed her lunch as soon as we get home(or she gets off the bus). When it's warmer I pack a lunch and we eat it at the park and stay there a couple of hours. After lunch at home she plays with or without me. Depends on what she wants to do. We love doing crafts so we do that often. I usually play The Fresh Beat Band and she sings, dances and "plays" her instruments along with it. She loves that show. She loves the library and there is storytime once a week. We have to cart her brother around so we get out plenty even when it's could. We don't have any kind of schedule except with school, eating and bedtimes. I don't think kids need scheduled education time. It can be included in play.

Supafly · Guru

We have a lot of free play as well, though there is a little structure to our routine. I am getting ready to change that a bit and schedule 10 minute intervals when each of them gets to pick an activity to do with me (and their sister too, but only one gets to pick what we are doing-from select choices)

MWF-get up and go to school. Friday mornings Kate is with me, so we usually run an errand or come home and play together. In nice weather, we go to the park or something, but unless I have something I HAVE to do, I give that time to her. I wish I had time like that with Anna. They are COMPLETELY different people when they are alone, and so so pleasant.

MWF PM-after they get up from their rests, we usually play together for a while. Maybe 30-45 minutes? IDK-this is the time of day I try to make sure I give them my full attention. In nice weather, we go outside and play in the yard or in the common area with my neighbor's daughters (that is usually the entire afternoon until I have to make dinner). After that, I generally do some chores/cooking and they play together and try not to kill one another. Friday afternoons we go to the farm for pizza with my ILs, and they generally play in their TV room with the hand me down toys while I help MIL make the pizza. When it is nice out, if my FIL is outside, they will go out with him and "work" until Bill gets there and then they hang with him. Once in a while in the summer, I'll take them in the pool, but usually they wait for daddy because I help in the kitchen.

Tuesday-generally they are with my mom and dad this day. I pick them up at 5pm. Ahhhh..... When they AREN'T with my mom and dad, Tuesdays look like Thursdays.

Thursday-if we are going to go somewhere, I schedule it for this day. Or playdates I try and schedule for this day. If we have nothing going on (like this time of year when it is frigid and we don't even want to leave), I usually try and split the morning with them. If they are in good moods and seem ok to play on their own for a while, I'll start with them playing and me doing some chores. If they are bickering, I play with them and then we swap after I have gotten them involved in something. (I try and do the more crafty things on this morning as well-like playdoh or finger paints. Or sometimes Anna will want to get out her preschool workbooks and she will do that and Kate and I will play) If things are REALLY bad with their attitudes, I'll try and get us all doing something like baking or some other project. When all else fails, we will have a movie morning, lmao. They like to go to the mall and play at PBK or go to BAB, but I am trying not to take them too much during cold and flu season.

If they are particularly tired in the afternoons when I am making dinner, I'll let them watch TV.

After dinner is the same everynight. Anna eats quickly and gets down from the table. She plays, but gets bored without her constant playmate, so she bothers Kate, who is still not even halfway done with dinner. We tell Anna to leave Kate alone, but Kate can still SEE Anna, so it doesn't really work that well. We tell Kate to keep eating again and again and again and again. During this time, usually one of us is playing with Anna and the other is cleaning up from dinner. We both continue to remind Kate to eat, who sits at the table contently not eating her food. Then we move on from reminding her to eat to asking if she is done yet. She keep saying no, so we let her sit there. Finally, it is time to clean up and go upstairs (usually around 7-7:15 on bath nights, 7:30 on non bath nights). we tell Kate AGAIN to finish eating or just tell her her time is up and take her plate. She cries. Anna cleans and complains that Kate isn't helping. Bill asks me where everything goes while I get his lunch ready for the next day and I try to explain to him even though he doesn't get it. I finally tell him IDC where he puts this crap, just put it away and stop bothering me. Kate cleans up about 2 things, then cries because she wanted more time to play after dinner. We tell her that she should eat her dinner faster if she wants time to play after dinner. Bill gets frustrated with her for not helping and gets fed up with her drama. They bicker. Anna tries to boss everyone around because she is tired of the entire thing. Finally, I have had enough and tell everyone, Bill included, that it is time to go upstairs to get ready for bed. I tell Bill to make sure Kate has her teddy. He says ok. We get them ready for bed, read stories, say prayers and then I see that Kate doesn't have her teddy. I ask Bill if he made sure she got her teddy and he says he forgot. I tell him to get his a** downstairs and find it and he says Kate should do it. I say no, you should because *I* told you to remind her about it. He rolls his eyes at me and goes downstairs to find the teddy. Goodnight kisses for all and I clock out...

supergrover · Guru

OMG Supa, I am dying at your evening commentary (in a supportive I love you way of course)

daisy · Guru

Supafly wrote:

After dinner is the same everynight. Anna eats quickly and gets down from the table. She plays, but gets bored without her constant playmate, so she bothers Kate, who is still not even halfway done with dinner. We tell Anna to leave Kate alone, but Kate can still SEE Anna, so it doesn't really work that well. We tell Kate to keep eating again and again and again and again. During this time, usually one of us is playing with Anna and the other is cleaning up from dinner. We both continue to remind Kate to eat, who sits at the table contently not eating her food. Then we move on from reminding her to eat to asking if she is done yet. She keep saying no, so we let her sit there. Finally, it is time to clean up and go upstairs (usually around 7-7:15 on bath nights, 7:30 on non bath nights). we tell Kate AGAIN to finish eating or just tell her her time is up and take her plate. She cries. Anna cleans and complains that Kate isn't helping. Bill asks me where everything goes while I get his lunch ready for the next day and I try to explain to him even though he doesn't get it. I finally tell him IDC where he puts this crap, just put it away and stop bothering me. Kate cleans up about 2 things, then cries because she wanted more time to play after dinner. We tell her that she should eat her dinner faster if she wants time to play after dinner. Bill gets frustrated with her for not helping and gets fed up with her drama. They bicker. Anna tries to boss everyone around because she is tired of the entire thing. Finally, I have had enough and tell everyone, Bill included, that it is time to go upstairs to get ready for bed. I tell Bill to make sure Kate has her teddy. He says ok. We get them ready for bed, read stories, say prayers and then I see that Kate doesn't have her teddy. I ask Bill if he made sure she got her teddy and he says he forgot. I tell him to get his a** downstairs and find it and he says Kate should do it. I say no, you should because *I* told you to remind her about it. He rolls his eyes at me and goes downstairs to find the teddy. Goodnight kisses for all and I clock out...

omg. LMFAO.

Jo · Guru

Cuppycake wrote:

A lot of Hannah's day is free play. I get torn sometimes on not doing tons of educational stuff with her, but I try to sneak stuff like that in here and there during play, because really, with it being her last year home, one of my big resolutions is to let go and active play, because this is it. I can't turn back the clock, and I've piddled away some of the most fun facebooking or worrying about dishes. (Now, another big resolution for me is to become better at managing my time, organizing, and just staying on top of things, so that I can spend 15 minutes here and there cleaning, and that's enough to keep the house nice.)

I don't have advice on getting them out more, though. In the spring, we're a different household... parks, playdates, museums. But in the winter, forgettaboutit. We're pretty much hermits. We do have to leave for school 4x a week, so I feel less guilty than I used to, but I just don't do this freezing cold weather. Coats, mittens, hats, scarves, heating the car for 20 minutes, just to drive 5 minutes away. Yuck.

thanks, Leah. I feel torn too because they had so much structure and learning activities that kept them busy during the day at school, so I feel like I'm cheating them in a way. They can be pretty good about just playing, so I try not to interrupt that. But yeah, I need to do a better job of being more involved in their play. I tend to gravitate toward getting personal things done.

Jo · Guru

MommyNicoleof3 wrote:

I'm with Leah. We pretty much stick with free play most of the day. There are days when I will pull out the paints/colors/markers to let them get some artsy stuff going. Aubrey loves playing dress up, so I just leave her to do that sort of thing...and Austin is into laying on the floor and driving his cars around. I do try and do things around the same time everyday though to give them structure. In the spring, we spend alot of time outside riding bikes or playing at the park. And we try and do at least one playdate a week. But they are getting much better about playing together so it makes my day way less stressful. : ) Did that answer your question?

yes, Nicole, thanks. I'm sure when it warms up here we'll be outside more. For now I'm trying to take them to indoor places like the children's museum and aquarium. I guess I just need to stop stressing over the whole structured learning.

Jo · Guru

3s_a_crowd wrote:

I dont do a ton of educational stuff with k. Shell have 13 years of that so we like to play a lot. She does like to work on reading so we have been trying that and im working on her writing her name properly Capital /lowercase letters.

My day starts with diaper changes LOL and then breakfast for all the kids. Brush teeth. Watch a show on pbs or two and we do puzzles or color. Then I clean and we do an early lunch. After lunch I do baths while the others watch a movie. Then if we have an appt or something it gets done or if we have to go shopping. Dh works from 3-11 so its a little different for us. After he leaves we pick up a little read a book or two watch a movie then have dinner. K usually plays on her computer we have desert a last minute short movie and bedtime stories.

thanks, Tracy. You guys are busy! I'm sure the days fly by pretty often, huh?

Jo · Guru

daisy wrote:

no real structure here, especially in teh winter.
they get so busy playing together that i dont like to interrupt them.
when i ask if they want to go out, they usually say they're busy playing :)

R goes to school 5 mornings a week. C naps during that time. we do errands altogether usually after school. i try for playdates often. i dont take out the crafts much. that's never been my thing.
as for academic type stuff, i do that with C here and there throughout the day but she's not one to sit still for long, especially when R is constantly tempting her with new games.
after C goes to bed, R and i have about an hour, adn i use that whole hour to play. we play board games, card games, and that's when we work on writing, drawing, coloring and stuff like that. dyuring the day i dont bother with it though - they are so happy just playing. when i get involved it seems to just screw them up :)

i also try to take them out to lunch here and there. that is something special to do.

as for me, i dont do a ton lately. i've been crocheting a lot, cleaning, organizing, FBing, reading, and writing some lectures for the semester. it's hard to really get into any one thing though, bc they usually do come to me after a bit for some attention or a snack or wahtever. so i usually just save my real work for after bedtime (which is tiring for me, but it's the only way right now).

thanks, Kelly. I like your relaxed, laid back days and I'm glad they're playing so well together for you now. I've not really been one for crafts, too.

I hear you on the after bedtime time...it's tiring but that's the only real time to get anything done!

Jo · Guru

supergrover wrote:

Not SAH, but what we are doing this semester with the babysitters who watch the boys at home (and us when we are with them), we are setting up a couple (2-3 max) "stations" that are rotated every day so that there is something different as an option. Free play is also ALWAYS an option, but we will have, say, puzzles ready to go at one end of the table, a particular game already set up at the other, and maybe their preK letters book set up on another table with their favorite stickers and markers. The next day we may mix it up and have a craft out, bubbles, and something else.

We're just trying to balance some structure and total free play. A couple years from now the stations will actually begin to morph into homeschooling stuff.

I like this idea of the stations, because it sounds like what they had at school. I'm thinking more about trying to replicate some of the works/activities they were doing there and leaving them out to do whenever they want.

thanks, Jen

Jo · Guru

Alicia wrote:

Raven goes to preschool 4 mornings a week. I feed her lunch as soon as we get home(or she gets off the bus). When it's warmer I pack a lunch and we eat it at the park and stay there a couple of hours. After lunch at home she plays with or without me. Depends on what she wants to do. We love doing crafts so we do that often. I usually play The Fresh Beat Band and she sings, dances and "plays" her instruments along with it. She loves that show. She loves the library and there is storytime once a week. We have to cart her brother around so we get out plenty even when it's could. We don't have any kind of schedule except with school, eating and bedtimes. I don't think kids need scheduled education time. It can be included in play.

thanks, Alicia. What kinds of crafts do you guys do together? Oh, and thanks for the storytime reminder, I've been meaning to look in to that.

Jo · Guru

Supafly wrote:

We have a lot of free play as well, though there is a little structure to our routine. I am getting ready to change that a bit and schedule 10 minute intervals when each of them gets to pick an activity to do with me (and their sister too, but only one gets to pick what we are doing-from select choices)

MWF-get up and go to school. Friday mornings Kate is with me, so we usually run an errand or come home and play together. In nice weather, we go to the park or something, but unless I have something I HAVE to do, I give that time to her. I wish I had time like that with Anna. They are COMPLETELY different people when they are alone, and so so pleasant.

MWF PM-after they get up from their rests, we usually play together for a while. Maybe 30-45 minutes? IDK-this is the time of day I try to make sure I give them my full attention. In nice weather, we go outside and play in the yard or in the common area with my neighbor's daughters (that is usually the entire afternoon until I have to make dinner). After that, I generally do some chores/cooking and they play together and try not to kill one another. Friday afternoons we go to the farm for pizza with my ILs, and they generally play in their TV room with the hand me down toys while I help MIL make the pizza. When it is nice out, if my FIL is outside, they will go out with him and "work" until Bill gets there and then they hang with him. Once in a while in the summer, I'll take them in the pool, but usually they wait for daddy because I help in the kitchen.

Tuesday-generally they are with my mom and dad this day. I pick them up at 5pm. Ahhhh..... When they AREN'T with my mom and dad, Tuesdays look like Thursdays.

Thursday-if we are going to go somewhere, I schedule it for this day. Or playdates I try and schedule for this day. If we have nothing going on (like this time of year when it is frigid and we don't even want to leave), I usually try and split the morning with them. If they are in good moods and seem ok to play on their own for a while, I'll start with them playing and me doing some chores. If they are bickering, I play with them and then we swap after I have gotten them involved in something. (I try and do the more crafty things on this morning as well-like playdoh or finger paints. Or sometimes Anna will want to get out her preschool workbooks and she will do that and Kate and I will play) If things are REALLY bad with their attitudes, I'll try and get us all doing something like baking or some other project. When all else fails, we will have a movie morning, lmao. They like to go to the mall and play at PBK or go to BAB, but I am trying not to take them too much during cold and flu season.

If they are particularly tired in the afternoons when I am making dinner, I'll let them watch TV.

After dinner is the same everynight. Anna eats quickly and gets down from the table. She plays, but gets bored without her constant playmate, so she bothers Kate, who is still not even halfway done with dinner. We tell Anna to leave Kate alone, but Kate can still SEE Anna, so it doesn't really work that well. We tell Kate to keep eating again and again and again and again. During this time, usually one of us is playing with Anna and the other is cleaning up from dinner. We both continue to remind Kate to eat, who sits at the table contently not eating her food. Then we move on from reminding her to eat to asking if she is done yet. She keep saying no, so we let her sit there. Finally, it is time to clean up and go upstairs (usually around 7-7:15 on bath nights, 7:30 on non bath nights). we tell Kate AGAIN to finish eating or just tell her her time is up and take her plate. She cries. Anna cleans and complains that Kate isn't helping. Bill asks me where everything goes while I get his lunch ready for the next day and I try to explain to him even though he doesn't get it. I finally tell him IDC where he puts this crap, just put it away and stop bothering me. Kate cleans up about 2 things, then cries because she wanted more time to play after dinner. We tell her that she should eat her dinner faster if she wants time to play after dinner. Bill gets frustrated with her for not helping and gets fed up with her drama. They bicker. Anna tries to boss everyone around because she is tired of the entire thing. Finally, I have had enough and tell everyone, Bill included, that it is time to go upstairs to get ready for bed. I tell Bill to make sure Kate has her teddy. He says ok. We get them ready for bed, read stories, say prayers and then I see that Kate doesn't have her teddy. I ask Bill if he made sure she got her teddy and he says he forgot. I tell him to get his a** downstairs and find it and he says Kate should do it. I say no, you should because *I* told you to remind her about it. He rolls his eyes at me and goes downstairs to find the teddy. Goodnight kisses for all and I clock out...

omg, Laura!! I

you.

thanks for all the input, I really get an idea of your days. I totally wish I had someone to take the boys for one day a week, that would be nice.

you dinnertime sounds so much like ours...Kyle finishes first and announces he's done. we try to ask him to stay put and wait for Kevin to finish, but he eventually gets up to go play and then Kevin wants to follow and usually does despite our attempts to get him to finish eating. How in the world do you get Kate to sit there and not get up!?

I really should get them in to the habit of helping me clean (husband included!) because I always get annoyed that nobody is helping me. And that's hilarious about Bill forgetting teddy...happens here all.the.time!

Sara · Guru

we do not have a ton of structure we have the same schedule as far as meals, keegan's nap etc but some days i play more with them than others and some days they are good entertaining themselves. for christmas they got a lot of games so we have been playing them some.

story time starts back next week so we will be doing that on monday mornings.

owen only goes to school one day a week, tuesdays from 9-1 so for the most part he is here.

Jo · Guru

Sara wrote:

we do not have a ton of structure we have the same schedule as far as meals, keegan's nap etc but some days i play more with them than others and some days they are good entertaining themselves. for christmas they got a lot of games so we have been playing them some.

story time starts back next week so we will be doing that on monday mornings.

owen only goes to school one day a week, tuesdays from 9-1 so for the most part he is here.

thanks, Sara. I've been meaning to get in touch with you, I'll try to get a PM done later. Kevin's tantrums have been out of control lately, and I wanted to get some feedback from you because you've talked about Owen and dealing with his behavior.

Sara · Guru

Jo wrote:

Sara wrote:

we do not have a ton of structure we have the same schedule as far as meals, keegan's nap etc but some days i play more with them than others and some days they are good entertaining themselves. for christmas they got a lot of games so we have been playing them some.

story time starts back next week so we will be doing that on monday mornings.

owen only goes to school one day a week, tuesdays from 9-1 so for the most part he is here.

thanks, Sara. I've been meaning to get in touch with you, I'll try to get a PM done later. Kevin's tantrums have been out of control lately, and I wanted to get some feedback from you because you've talked about Owen and dealing with his behavior.

ugh, that is rough btdt still doing it...lol

i am here whenever.