Okay, so here's the deal. Gavin has one really good friend at school that he *always* talks about and plays with and wants to get him a Christmas gift. I need help on how to go about doing this.
I am going to be making goody bags (like the size of paper lunch bags) and filling them with some goodies - christmas pencils, little activity books, stickers, cookies and chocolate covered pretzels, etc. So, do you think it would be okay if we found something small enough to fit in there so it wasn't noticeable that he had something else in there?
Or do you think I should just discourage Gavin from buying for only one kid? I feel like it's okay since we're giving everybody *something* but I am wondering what you guys think. I LOVE that Gavin has a real friend that he talks about and that isn't his brother, lmao.
Do all the parents pick up around the same time? Maybe you could pull his mom aside and let her know that Gavin really wanted to pick him out something small, but that you didn't want to upset any of the other kids... Or you could ask one of his teachers to sneak it into his school bag. Idk about other classes, but Hannah's classes are not supposed to dig through their goodie bags, but they ALWAYS do.
But if there wasn't a way to do either of those, I probably wouldn't do it. I know that Hannah's really in tune with when stuff like that is going on, and gets her feelings REALLY hurt if she isn't included. (She's crazy sensitive when it comes to her peers, it's heartbreaking.) And I know that's exactly what you are trying to avoid, so I'm not dogging on you (I hate that the internets don't really convey tone appropriately)... but maybe you could try to set up a playdate or something, and give it him then.
Well, the problem is I don't do pick up. I honestly have NO clue who this kid's mom is. I drop Gavin off in the morning but it's drop off, run out the door and rush to work. My dad picks him up. I am assuming that he gets picked up at 12 with the rest of the kids but there is also a daycare there so it is possible that he goes to daycare afterwards. As far as I know, his teacher waits until after class to send home the bags and we closed them up so it wasn't easy to get into. But you are totally right - we want to avoid hurting anybody else's feelings.
I guess I'm just so excited to see Gavin have some input and have a friendship he made all on his own. Up until now it's been relatives, or people he's known all his life so it's super neat to see him make a friend all on his own.
I think I will talk to his teacher and see if we can arrange something. I will call her after class or a day he doesn't have school so none of the other kids hear. I am thinking for sure about doing something that will fit in the bag though just so it's even less obvious.
if it was a friend that they played together in playdates outside of school, then i would give it to him then.
if not, i would not give a gift.
and if not, this could be an opportunity to get the kids together outside of the classroom to see if they can develop a friendship - i would ask the teacher to give the other parents a note with your phone number saying it would be fun if they could play together sometime. teachers are usually really ok with doing that.
I was just going to say what Megan said. The only thing I'd be concerned about is the constant conversation I hear from Charlie about who invited who to parties, playdates, etc.
Do the kids have a break from school? You could give it on the last day and maybe you'd get around that.
In the schools here, the teachers won't hand out invites. To stop the "this one got ivited and I didn't" they started a friendship book. At the begginning of the year, parents are told they cannot hand out invites or whatever at schoo, and do they want to be in the friendship book which has addresses and phone numbers.
Anyways, I was actually going to say what Megan said. If he played with him out of school, I would say fine, but otherwise, no. Ivite him over, just be prepared for mom to stay Do something fun, make cookies, etc...
So, as it turns out his class does a gift exchange. Boys bring a boy gift and girls bring a girl gift. Not to anyone in particular but just so that everyone gets a gift. I will explain to him that it might not be Maxwell but it will help with him wanting to bring a gift to school.
The other thing is that they have a Christmas program right after school next Friday so I am going to go to that and hopefully meet his friend's mom and get to talk to her. I think we will put a special note in his friend's bag with Gavin's phone number so he can call during the break. :)
Thanks for the input!
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MomSquawk -> Chit Chat -> Giving a gift to only one kid in Gavin's class - advice?
Do something fun, make cookies, etc...
