What Makes You A Good Mother

Jennie · Guru

What Makes You A Good Mother

Juanita · Guru

Jennie wrote:

I was thinking about this while laying in the floor playing with Addy..

What makes me a good mother? Is it the some times excessive amount of patience I have? Is it the ability to act crazy and spin around in the backyard with all the christmas lights on in the middle of September acting like a satellite with Colin? Is it my ability to bake from scratch? How I can create bedtime stories from whim? Is it my love for them both? What is it that makes me a good mother?

So I come to you all.

What makes you a good mother?

I wish I had 1/2 of that. I have to really, really work at that.

Jennie · Guru

Juanita wrote:

Jennie wrote:

I was thinking about this while laying in the floor playing with Addy..

What makes me a good mother? Is it the some times excessive amount of patience I have? Is it the ability to act crazy and spin around in the backyard with all the christmas lights on in the middle of September acting like a satellite with Colin? Is it my ability to bake from scratch? How I can create bedtime stories from whim? Is it my love for them both? What is it that makes me a good mother?

So I come to you all.

What makes you a good mother?

I wish I had 1/2 of that. I have to really, really work at that.

Its a rare occurrence and only when I've had my meds. I take an anti-anxiety med to help with the blood pressure med so it mellows me out and I'm better able to just chill out and be more level-headed and less, "ROAR!" about things.

CheleLyn · Senior Member

simply...the fact that i am NOT my mother.

i think cooking dinner every night, making breakfast (not as often as i should), tucking them in, making sure "i love you" is the first and last thing they hear me say to them individually EVERY.DAY.

what i should work on---patience, yelling, being more affectionate (don is really good about just walking up to any of our kids and just hugging them, me not so much. idk why i dont hug them much--other than feeling like i'm being suffocated, maybe bc mother never did it much but then i should do it bc i know how it made me feel to not get that. :dunno:)

Juanita · Guru

This is a hard question for me to answer because I have a hard time thinking of myself that way sometimes.

I mean some days I feel like I am a good mother, but then some days I don't.

KWIM?

happylib · Guru

Wow this is a tough question to answer. From having gone through some very terrible and scary times with my son, I have to say that I know that I won't give up on my kids. I think that I have done a pretty good job of making sure that they know that I love them and they are always wanted. Although there is room for improvement I also think that my kids can tell me what they think and feel and can talk to me about important personal things.

I am not so sure how I am doing with being the mother of an adult child though. This letting go thing has been hard. It kind of slowly keeps seeping in. I have no clue if I am doing it right. confuse

Picture-Perfect · Guru

Juanita wrote:

This is a hard question for me to answer because I have a hard time thinking of myself that way sometimes.

I mean some days I feel like I am a good mother, but then some days I don't.

KWIM?

I do. I think more often then not I think of what I could be doing instead of what I am doing. When I have a day where I feel like all I do is yell, I think I would be a better mom if I didn't do that, when I pop frozen dinners in the microwave for the kids I think I should cook. I'm going to take both of them to the pedi this afternoon and if they are sick i'm going to think I should have taken them the other day. I don't really know what makes me a good mom. I do know that I love my kids more then anything in the world and I would do anything for them and I cannot imagine my life without them.

Jennie · Guru

CheleLyn wrote:

simply...the fact that i am NOT my mother.

i think cooking dinner every night, making breakfast (not as often as i should), tucking them in, making sure "i love you" is the first and last thing they hear me say to them individually EVERY.DAY.

what i should work on---patience, yelling, being more affectionate (don is really good about just walking up to any of our kids and just hugging them, me not so much. idk why i dont hug them much--other than feeling like i'm being suffocated, maybe bc mother never did it much but then i should do it bc i know how it made me feel to not get that. :dunno:)

I totally get you there.

Affection was a RARE occurrence in our house hold by our mother. Never happened. Never.
But its not hard for me to do it with the children b/c I don't want them to feel cold. I want to feel warm and loved all the time. I'm forever hugging and kissing them both as much as I can for as long as they'll let me. Addy can't do much about it yet. But Colin is getting to the point where its gross. LOL
But ITU where you are coming from.

Juanita · Guru

Picture-Perfect wrote:

Juanita wrote:

This is a hard question for me to answer because I have a hard time thinking of myself that way sometimes.

I mean some days I feel like I am a good mother, but then some days I don't.

KWIM?

I do. I think more often then not I think of what I could be doing instead of what I am doing. When I have a day where I feel like all I do is yell, I think I would be a better mom if I didn't do that, when I pop frozen dinners in the microwave for the kids I think I should cook. I'm going to take both of them to the pedi this afternoon and if they are sick i'm going to think I should have taken them the other day. I don't really know what makes me a good mom. I do know that I love my kids more then anything in the world and I would do anything for them and I cannot imagine my life without them.

DITTO! Just substitute frozen dinners for corndogs and that's me exactly, lol

Jo · Guru

Juanita wrote:

This is a hard question for me to answer because I have a hard time thinking of myself that way sometimes.

I mean some days I feel like I am a good mother, but then some days I don't.

KWIM?

IKWYM, and I feel the same way. It's a great question, just hard to answer.

Cuppycake · Guru

Picture-Perfect wrote:

Juanita wrote:

This is a hard question for me to answer because I have a hard time thinking of myself that way sometimes.

I mean some days I feel like I am a good mother, but then some days I don't.

KWIM?

I do. I think more often then not I think of what I could be doing instead of what I am doing. When I have a day where I feel like all I do is yell, I think I would be a better mom if I didn't do that, when I pop frozen dinners in the microwave for the kids I think I should cook. I'm going to take both of them to the pedi this afternoon and if they are sick i'm going to think I should have taken them the other day. I don't really know what makes me a good mom. I do know that I love my kids more then anything in the world and I would do anything for them and I cannot imagine my life without them.

This is me too a T. (And ftr, I think you are all amazing, of course.)

It's my general personality flaw to focus on the negative and let it eat at me, instead of pulling out the positive, and parenting is not immune from my harsh judgement of myself.

FoxyRoxy · Guru

I just saw this post and asked the experts: my boys.
Diego said: "That you care about us"
Manuel said: " That I let them live"
Marcos: ... he is pooping in the bathroom so I can't ask...

Jo · Guru

FoxyRoxy wrote:

I just saw this post and asked the experts: my boys.
Diego said: "That you care about us"
Manuel said: " That I let them live"
Marcos: ... he is pooping in the bathroom so I can't ask...

love this

Jennie · Guru

FoxyRoxy wrote:

I just saw this post and asked the experts: my boys.
Diego said: "That you care about us"
Manuel said: " That I let them live"
Marcos: ... he is pooping in the bathroom so I can't ask...

biggrin

CoffeeQueen · Guru

Ask me when my girls are in their teens and see what they think :)

I think for me a good mother keeps child safe, happy, healthy, fed and loves them unconditionally. The rest is all a bonus :)

daisy · Guru

Juanita wrote:

Picture-Perfect wrote:

Juanita wrote:

This is a hard question for me to answer because I have a hard time thinking of myself that way sometimes.

I mean some days I feel like I am a good mother, but then some days I don't.

KWIM?

I do. I think more often then not I think of what I could be doing instead of what I am doing. When I have a day where I feel like all I do is yell, I think I would be a better mom if I didn't do that, when I pop frozen dinners in the microwave for the kids I think I should cook. I'm going to take both of them to the pedi this afternoon and if they are sick i'm going to think I should have taken them the other day. I don't really know what makes me a good mom. I do know that I love my kids more then anything in the world and I would do anything for them and I cannot imagine my life without them.

DITTO! Just substitute frozen dinners for corndogs and that's me exactly, lol

me too. i need to work on patience, and i'm always thinking of what i should have done/need to do better, instead of just accepting the kind of mother i am.
i do think i offer my kids some great things - they are majorly loved and smothered with kisses and hugs constantly, and they see a lot of good traits in me (they see me working hard, they see me doing stuff on my own instead of asking for help, rachel often says that i'm good at making things and can "figure everything out") -
but yeah every night i go to bed like "i cant believe i yelled over that" or whatever. so hard to be a mom.

daisy · Guru

FoxyRoxy wrote:

I just saw this post and asked the experts: my boys.
Diego said: "That you care about us"
Manuel said: " That I let them live"
Marcos: ... he is pooping in the bathroom so I can't ask...

i LOVE this. i just asked rachel and she said -- "um, i dont know - youre a good mommy when you dont yell."

hmmm.

(lmfao).

FoxyRoxy · Guru

daisy wrote:

FoxyRoxy wrote:

I just saw this post and asked the experts: my boys.
Diego said: "That you care about us"
Manuel said: " That I let them live"
Marcos: ... he is pooping in the bathroom so I can't ask...

i LOVE this. i just asked rachel and she said -- "um, i dont know - youre a good mommy when you dont yell."
hmmm.
(lmfao).

biggrin

Robin · Guru

I don't know.

I'll ask the boys in a few minutes; they're in the backyard raking leaves (for fun). Crazy kids.

I asked Mark the other day, "Do you know who loves you a lot?"

He said, "You do."

I said, "Who else?"

He said, "God."

"Who else?"

"Henry and Daddy."

So at the very least, my kids know that they're loved. I think that's makes a good mother.

daisy · Guru

FoxyRoxy wrote:

daisy wrote:

FoxyRoxy wrote:

I just saw this post and asked the experts: my boys.
Diego said: "That you care about us"
Manuel said: " That I let them live"
Marcos: ... he is pooping in the bathroom so I can't ask...

i LOVE this. i just asked rachel and she said -- "um, i dont know - youre a good mommy when you dont yell."
hmmm.
(lmfao).

i just had R revise her answer (lmao). she said "youre a good mommy bc you make cookies" - and then cara said "youre good because of tasha" - cracking up.