YES!  it makes me feel like my baby is gone  

it's been hitting me more and more, now that C is becoming more and more of a "kid" and less of a baby.
my screensaver is all of their pictures - they pop on one at a time, adn it's my WHOLE directory so i'll see the old pictures all the time. it has been depressing me - little things, like "oh, they BOTH wore that coat and now they're BOTH out of it" and stuff like that.
C's baby pics depress the hell out of me bc it was such a hard time, and i feel like we were really robbed of that whole sweetness.
and R's baby pics depress me because the sweetness was there FULL FORCE and i miss that so much. not to mention that she's maturing so much by the day.
UG.
back to school time is hard :(
i almost feel like a new school year marks time more than a birthday does.

Um. yeah.  Combine that with going through Mia's clothes and knowing that I am all done. I do not want to give them away.

Mia will be a year soon and I just do not think it seems possible.

It is so sad and yet happy at the same time.  Braydon had such a hard time this morning on his first day of first grade.  We got there and he told me that he changed his mind and didn't want to go anymore.  So when I had to peel myself away it was all I could do not to cry along with him.  Where have my babies gone?

I just found the power cord for my video camera.  It had been missing for 2 years !!!  I plugged it in and the first tape was Landon's birth and then I watched the other tapes.  I was crying.  They were so little and cute and will never be like that again.  I think it really hits home now that I had the hysterectomy.

daisy wrote:

---

it's been hitting me more and more, now that C is becoming more and more of a "kid" and less of a baby.
my screensaver is all of their pictures - they pop on one at a time, adn it's my WHOLE directory so i'll see the old pictures all the time. it has been depressing me - little things, like "oh, they BOTH wore that coat and now they're BOTH out of it" and stuff like that.
C's baby pics depress the hell out of me bc it was such a hard time, and i feel like we were really robbed of that whole sweetness.
and R's baby pics depress me because the sweetness was there FULL FORCE and i miss that so much. not to mention that she's maturing so much by the day.
UG.
back to school time is hard :(
i almost feel like a new school year marks time more than a birthday does.

---

ITTTTTTTTA

I am excited for them on their birthdays, but sad for myself when school starts.

I look back too and wish I had been able to enjoy it more when they were babies, but I know that I am just not a "newborn" person.  Still, I hope that maybe part of that was the first time thing with Anna, and then just the shock of the second with Kate (especially since Kate came along before we had intended to have a second), and that maybe if we have the chance to do it again, I'll be able to enjoy those early stages a little bit more.

But while I do miss certain things about them being younger, there are things I am not sad to see gone.  Like the newborn challenges, and the self destructive discovery mode of an early toddler.  I don't miss those things at all!!  And I love their current stages for different reasons too.

Still...the time is going way too fast, and I already understand why parents hope their kids will give them grandchildren, so that they can somewhat relive all of these moments. 

It is seriously flying by.