This goes into relation to the 4 yr old age being the death of me. But really it is just Owen. Bryce was fine at 4.
Anyways, Owen's newest thing is if you say for instance...
Owen you need to quiet down.
No, you need to quiet down.
Owen you are going to go to time out for 4 minutes if you do not stop ______
No, you will go to time out for 4 minutes.
It is on and on over anything and everything and he just repeats it right back to you.
Tonight at dinner John was on the phone and I said Owen please quiet it down a little bit. He looked straight at me and goes...NOOOOOOOOOO you need to be quiet.
Then bath, John was playing with Keegan so I went to wash Owen. He kicked back the rag and goes Nooooooooooooo my daddy is going to wash me. I said, Owen I am going to wash you since Daddy is playing with Keegan. Fit begins (surprise, surprse) then I said Owen if you do not stop when you get out of bath you will go to bed with no snack or tv. He goes, NO, you will go to bed with no snack or tv.
Oh Owen. Yeah this age isn't fun so far for us either.
I have two suggestions. Make sure he's getting lots of sleep at night. Sarah's bad days are definitely after she hasn't had enough sleep the night before. It makes a huge difference.
Then, with Jack and Ryan both, threats of time outs and even time outs themselves didn't bother them at all.
It wasn't until I started taking things away from them that I found my punishment.
With Ryan it took a long time to figure out what that right thing was but once I figured out it was his stuffed animals, I was suddenly able to control his outbursts better.
Oh Owen. Yeah this age isn't fun so far for us either.
I have two suggestions. Make sure he's getting lots of sleep at night. Sarah's bad days are definitely after she hasn't had enough sleep the night before. It makes a huge difference.
Then, with Jack and Ryan both, threats of time outs and even time outs themselves didn't bother them at all.
It wasn't until I started taking things away from them that I found my punishment.
With Ryan it took a long time to figure out what that right thing was but once I figured out it was his stuffed animals, I was suddenly able to control his outbursts better.
Good luck Sara.
ty, i need to find his trigger. i am thinking i will attempt taking his trucks and trailers away since that is what he plays with most.
owen could careless about time out. bryce though would think time out was the end of the earth. owen is just like ok sit my time then off i go to repeat the same incident a little bit later.
he does get good sleep for the most part he is in bed by 745 pm then sleeps usually until 7 am. i am sure there are nights i could put him to bed earlier but that would be a big drag out fit because bryce was not going to bed at that time..sigh..always something!
I have plenty of issues right now with Lauren and am finding 4 to be a pita so far. For instance whenever I start to say something to reprimand her or just something she doesn't want to hear she makes this fart sound with her mouth. It drives me crazy. :sigh
Good luck. Hopefully this will be a short lived phase.
wow. emily does all of the things mentioned in this thread. thankfully time outs are effective with her.
unfortunately, jake is starting to do most of these things too and time outs are NOT effective with him. toys in time out works sometimes, but not always. it is SO frustrating!
I think all kids are different, and I have no idea if you have done this, but have you talked to him about it? I know that it did help with Elizabeth when I talked to her when things were not heated and told her that when she says no back to me, it's back talk. I also explained what an appropriate response could be (I wish I didn't have to xyz, etc.). I also told her what the consequence would be for doing it. For me I felt better about punishing her for it because I knew she understood it was not okay and she also knew what the expectations were.
I am not saying it was perfect after that, but it did seem to help.
I think all kids are different, and I have no idea if you have done this, but have you talked to him about it? I know that it did help with Elizabeth when I talked to her when things were not heated and told her that when she says no back to me, it's back talk. I also explained what an appropriate response could be (I wish I didn't have to xyz, etc.). I also told her what the consequence would be for doing it. For me I felt better about punishing her for it because I knew she understood it was not okay and she also knew what the expectations were.
I am not saying it was perfect after that, but it did seem to help.
We have done this with Lauren and even wrote out the house rules (very basic) for her to see and understand. If she breaks them then she knows it will result in a time out. It worked for awhile but seems to be no big deal to her anymore.
I think all kids are different, and I have no idea if you have done this, but have you talked to him about it? I know that it did help with Elizabeth when I talked to her when things were not heated and told her that when she says no back to me, it's back talk. I also explained what an appropriate response could be (I wish I didn't have to xyz, etc.). I also told her what the consequence would be for doing it. For me I felt better about punishing her for it because I knew she understood it was not okay and she also knew what the expectations were.
I am not saying it was perfect after that, but it did seem to help.
I have tried. For Bryce this worked. Owen not so much.
Yesterday, I took Kristi's advice and took toys away. He had two trucks and trailers gone the entire day. I gave them back this morning and then explained why I took them away yesterday and that I will find others to take away if he could not control himself and what he said. SO far so good..but there is A LOT of day left.
We don't have this kind of problem with Anna, but Kate has started this kind of backtalk as well.
Time outs sometimes work for her, but not always. Sometimes she just sits there and sings and is all happy go lucky.
Taking toys helps, but since she is younger, it HAS to be right then-if she is acting up at the dinner table, for example, taking a toy away later doesn't work. In those cases, she is told she will not get any snacks/dessert after dinner. If that doesn't work, time out. If that doesn't work, she gets put in her room, which is more problematic now because she is in a bed and gets PISSED and will throw everything she can get her hands on. But it usually works for her. Worst case-her meal is done and we take her plate away and put her to bed.
During playtimes, she gets things taken. Same at nap and bedtime. She gets things taken. Sleep times are when it hurts the most. I will take every last thing she sleeps with, including her most prized possession (her teddy), and she HATES it. For nap, I tell her too bad, she can have it when she gets up. But for bedtime, I tell her she can have it back if she can settle down, say she is sorry and show us her happy face.
When things escalate to that point, it can take her at least 30 minutes to calm herself down (and my presence makes it worse, I have learned), so I leave her and she will let me know when she is calmed down and ready to show me her happy face.
ITA about the sleep thing, and for Kate it is also important that she has eaten. She gets NASTY when she is hungry.
When she is in a nicer phase, this isnt necessary, but during trying times, we have to ramp it up with a reward chart. Kate loves feeling useful and important, and she loves praise and feeling like she is doing things right (probably because she gets in trouble so much). So reward charts work well for that. And having one makes me more aware of things and more apt to catch her doing good, which seems to help reduce the attitude.
I very much fear the future with Kate. She isn't a cllimber or a dare devil or things like that, but the emotional toll of her behavior is already pretty big. I can't imagine what it will be like when she is four. I think it is going to be a very rough road with her in this way.
