Is it just me or...

Lizzy · Guru

Is it just me or...

apies · Guru

yup, this is totally me too.

why is that!?!?!

CoffeeQueen · Guru

nope, not at all.

we both work, we both have two kids and it just make sense we both do the same things in the house. That is just how it works for us and so far it has been working for us. I feel no guilt if he wants to clean smile

Lizzy · Guru

apies wrote:

yup, this is totally me too.

why is that!?!?!

part of it is that I am ocd about the way I like the dishes done...but mostly I feel like it is my "duty" ugh

Corey · Guru

well, i don't feel guilt, but i do feel like i need to thank him, which is silly because it is his house too and his mess too and all that i do here is thankless.

Lizzy · Guru

CoffeeQueen wrote:

nope, not at all.

we both work, we both have two kids and it just make sense we both do the same things in the house. That is just how it works for us and so far it has been working for us. I feel no guilt if he wants to clean

I am sure if I had an outside job it would be different. Idk

Michele · Senior Member

I never feel guilty about it. He does the dishes almost all the time anyway.

It the other way in this house. If I start to do them he rushes in there and says he'll do it. biggrin

Another trick I pull is dumping all the laundry that needs to be folded and put away on his side of the bed so he can't go to sleep until it is done.

sbucking · Guru

Michele wrote:

I never feel guilty about it. He does the dishes almost all the time anyway.

It the other way in this house. If I start to do them he rushes in there and says he'll do it.
Another trick I pull is dumping all the laundry that needs to be folded and put away on his side of the bed so he can't go to sleep until it is done.

Wow! Mark hasn't folded or put away laundry since we've been married. I can leave his clothes folded and sorted in baskets in our room and after 3 weeks I give up and put it away.

As for dishes.....I don't feel guilty about that, but the rest of the house I do. It doesn't help that he can't seem to happily pick up. When he does it he storms around slamming things and muttering. I'd rather him do nothing than do it with an attitude (which he swears doesn't exist.)

crystal · Guru

i HATE it. it didn't bother me when i was working, but now that i'm a sahm, i feel like it is my job and i feel like i am not doing it well if he is doing those things. sucks. part of it is that he makes me feel that way too because i know in his head he is not thinking "Let me do this nice thing to help out my wife" he is thinking "I shouldn't have to be doing this, but SOMEONE has to". i'm not sure if i would feel the same way if i didn't know that he was upset about it (even though he doesn't always say something about it, i know it is what he is thinking).

crystal · Guru

sbucking wrote:

Michele wrote:

I never feel guilty about it. He does the dishes almost all the time anyway.

It the other way in this house. If I start to do them he rushes in there and says he'll do it.
Another trick I pull is dumping all the laundry that needs to be folded and put away on his side of the bed so he can't go to sleep until it is done.

Wow! Mark hasn't folded or put away laundry since we've been married. I can leave his clothes folded and sorted in baskets in our room and after 3 weeks I give up and put it away.

As for dishes.....I don't feel guilty about that, but the rest of the house I do. It doesn't help that he can't seem to happily pick up. When he does it he storms around slamming things and muttering. I'd rather him do nothing than do it with an attitude (which he swears doesn't exist.)

re the red: exactly!

sappy · Guru

i feel this way too.

my husband has been so great about helping out in all areas for a while now (kids, picking up, giving me alone time, etc..) and he never complains about it......

but i still feel like i'm failing somehow and eventually he will resent me for not doing "my part".

truth be told my feelings on it are doing a little damage here because my husband is trying so hard and has a good heart - and ends up feeling like he can't do anything right hmm

mark this down on the list of reasons i see a therapist

Jilly · Veteran Member

It is not just you....I feel the same way! It makes me feel guilty especially when he tries to reorganize things to make them fit better in the cupboards. I should appreciate the help, but makes me feel like a slacker even though I rarely sit down to take breaks during the day.

Juanita · Guru

*If* he did that sort of thing, I would NOT feel guilty about it, lol

Kenneth is the absolute BEST husband, but as far as the inside "chores" I have no help,

unless it involves the girls.

Which is fine. I don't want to mow, or do any of that "manual labor" wink

, and he bathes and dresses the older two for me every day, so we're cool smile

We made a deal way before we had kids that he'd take care of the outside, I'd take care of the inside, and life would be great.

Now, when I was post c/sections, and gallbladder surgeries, he did it all.

daisy · Guru

Corey wrote:

well, i don't feel guilt, but i do feel like i need to thank him, which is silly because it is his house too and his mess too and all that i do here is thankless.

same here.

3s_a_crowd · Guru

i dont feel guilty at all,, but like kelly and corey i will thank him.

it also seems to encourage him to keep helping.

Juanita · Guru

3s_a_crowd wrote:

i dont feel guilty at all,, but like kelly and corey i will thank him.

it also seems to encourage him to keep helping.

that's because they're puppets wink

Sara · Guru

Corey wrote:

well, i don't feel guilt, but i do feel like i need to thank him, which is silly because it is his house too and his mess too and all that i do here is thankless.

ditto

CheleLyn · Senior Member

I totally feel like a slacker if Don does something around here---but then get irritated if he doesnt LOL.

He's taken to doing his own laundry lately and that bugs me. I have no problem telling the kids to help pick up some of my slack since I started school, but I HATE when Don does it. I think I've convinced myself that when the kids do it, they are learning life skills for when they are out on their own, but when Don does it I feel LAZY

I have that whole unrealistic "superwife" thing going on in my head hmm

tammy · Senior Member

When hubby does dishes etc... it usually just means he is trying to "get lucky" biggrin

.

In the past I would feel like a slacker but now I try to just relax and let him help.

MommyNicoleof3 · Senior Member

I def don't run in to help DH if he starts doing dishes. Of course our doing dishes consists of putting them in the dishwasher....so nope I don't feel guilty. I'm not the only one that lives here. LOL